Becoming Fire
by dcdomain6
Summary: Audrey is an Erudite who no longer wants a life of constant studying. She wants a life of adventure; a life of fire. But will her inner fire burn for another? Eric/OC with appearances of other couples. Set after Divergent, no war. T to be safe. To avoid a lawsuit, I own nothing. First fanfic, wish me luck! PS: Please only give constructive criticism, ie "this sux" isn't helpful.
1. Chapter 1

I put on my usual outfit: blue skirt with shorts underneath, white short-sleeved top, and flat blue shoes. To complete the erudite image, a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. Once dressed, I make my way out of my room into the kitchen where my mother is cooking, back turned with her fiery red hair in a ponytail, just like I always do with mine. I've always been told I looked like my mother. From the color of my hair down to my choice of clothing and wholly unnecessary glasses; I am a younger version of her, through and through. As soon as I enter the kitchen, she turns with a plate of pancakes in hand; banana and walnut, my favorite.

"Ready for your test today, Audrey?" she asks.

"Of course, mom. I haven't reached a test that I can't handle, yet," I reply, "Whatever faction it gives me, I'll make the most logical choice for myself."

"That's my girl," my mother smiles back, "Always 'logical'. No matter what you choose, always keep your wits about you and know that I trust your reasoning."

I smile back and know that that's her way of saying that she'll always support me, always love me. But here in Erudite, we don't speak in terms of feelings and emotion; we speak in terms of logic and reason.

"As soon as you're finished, I'll drive you to class," my mother says between bites, "I'll be waiting outside to get you; they should release you around 3pm."

I nod as I finish off the last pancake in my stack. As soon as I'm done, it's off to our car as she said. She pulls up to the school and kisses me on the cheek.

"Bye, Audrey," my mom says, "I love you."

Surprised, I give her a kiss on the cheek back, "I love you, too."

Erudite aren't nearly as conservative when it comes to affection as the Abnegation, but we're still less likely to display our feelings, ever. What I just witnessed was a rare occurrence and I know it. That's when it hits me just how important today is. Depending on my test, I may be told that it's best to leave my mother forever and the thought scares me. But what terrifies me even more is the thought that I want to leave; that I've grown tired of erudite life. Being known as intelligent is nice, but it gets so boring after a while. I want adventure, I want excitement, I no longer wish to be water; I want to be fire. I stare as she pulls away and a part of me wants to run after her and tell her that I don't want to go today, that I don't know what's going to happen and that I'm terrified of that idea. But as I stand there, I remember what she always told me, "Don't ever fear the unknown; accept it, because it won't be unknown forever." I take a deep breath and I walk through the school doors to attend class one last time.


	2. Chapter 2

All the Erudites sit together as we wait to be tested. A bunch of sixteen-year-olds with glasses as far as the eye can see and with a minimum of three books stacked next to themselves. I can't help but want to laugh at how hilarious my faction is in its effort to seem smarter than everyone else. I smile a little to myself, then finally tune in on what the people around me are saying.

"What do you guys think of the latest Abnegation news?" asks Elizabeth, that idiot in Erudite clothing, "I still can't get over how terrible their whole faction is."

"Well, I feel like the whole situation is rather suspicious and I would prefer to see any, if any, research into the matter," I reply.

"But you heard from the newsletters that-" Elizabeth begins to say before she's cut off by my friend Morgan.

"Elizabeth, stop right there," Morgan says, "If you're going to argue with Audrey, you better have a good thesis and at least three reputable sources lined up if you want to have any hopes of debating her."

I smile over to Morgan for successfully shutting her up for me. I hate to brag, no, I love to brag, that I can argue anyone into the ground, but sometimes it's nice to not have to lift a single finger. I'm still relishing in it when I hear my name be called.

"From Erudite: Audrey Kilbourn and Morgan Jenkins," says a nice looking woman in Abnegation grey, "Ms. Kilbourn, stay with me and we'll have Ms. Jenkins follow my associate."

And with that, I'm separated from my best friend as she follows an almost identical woman in Abnegation grey.

"Ms. Kilbourn, I'm Natalie Prior and I'll be the one conducting your test today," says the nice woman who now has a name, "simply sit in the chair and I'll hook you up."

"Alright, but call me Audrey, please." I say.

I sit in the chair she indicated and wait as she applies some gel to my head and then attaches some electrodes to my head. So, they're going to be monitoring my head, huh. I continue to wait when she pulls out a vial of light blue liquid.

"I'm going to have you drink the testing serum," says Natalie, "It will take effect in sixty seconds."

I nod, take the vial, drink the contents, then I wait…

Sixty seconds, right on the dot, later and I'm suddenly in an empty, white expanse. I look around and check each of my senses; it seems the serum affects each of them. I can feel, smell, taste, hear, and see everything in this world within my head. As I come to grips with this serum-induced reality, I suddenly hear a familiar voice; Jeanine Matthew's voice.

"Choose," it says and when I look around me I see two platters, one holding a knife and one holding cheese. Alright, logic time. I don't know what's coming for me and I'm not really a fan of either option. Let's see if choosing neither is an option.

"How about no," I shout to the abyss. Suddenly, both disappear and are replaced with a growling noise right behind me. I slowly turn, not wanting to alarm what I'm fairly sure is a dog. And I'm proven right, it's a pit-bull; just my luck.

"I should have taken the knife," I mumble as I watch and remember everything I can on how to deal with angry dogs. I stand my ground; if it senses fear, it will attack. I don't look it in the eye; I just stand, watching it in my peripheral vision and wait. Suddenly, I hear a kid cry. Great. Now, the dog is lunging for the child.

"Oh, come on!" I shout as I tackle the dog. I'm not heartless enough to watch a kid get mauled, even if it is just a simulation.

With that, I am now on a bus. There's a scarred man on the bus and he's reading the paper. He starts talking with me and mentions how he got his scar from the man on the front of the paper. I can't help but stare at the face on the paper, it seems familiar. I guess the scarred man notices, because he asks me if I know the man who did that to him.

"No," I say with conviction, "I've never met him in my life."

"Are you sure?" he asks, "If you do, it'll really help me. Please, if you even recognize this man, tell me."

"No, I don't know him," I repeat, "Now please leave me alone." I mean, I can't save all these simulation people, can I? Plus, something feels wrong about it.

Then, I wake up.


	3. Chapter 3

"I seem to have run across a few issues while testing you, it seems," says Natalie.

"What problems?" I ask, confused, "How can this test have problems?"

"You came up with two factions, Erudite and Dauntless," Natalie says, "You're not Candor, because you lied to the man. You're not Abnegation for the same reason and, even though you chased down the dog, your vexation makes me think that you might not be suited to Abnegation. Now, choosing nothing and choosing to lie are Erudite qualities and because you regretted not taking the knife, I'm going to act as if you had taken the knife."

I can't help but stare at her. How could I get two factions? And this test was supposed to cement my convictions, but even the test is tied? That's unreasonable, impossible, and everything in between.

"Now, what I say next is very important, Audrey," says Natalie, "Your results mean that you're something called 'Divergent', ok. You can't tell anyone about this, ever. Never mention what's happened in this room to anyone. Now, I want to know if you want me to put down Erudite or Dauntless. I would typically put down Erudite to be safe, but you seem like the kind of person who wants a choice."

She smiles to me as she says that. What do I want, truly? I think back to my dilemma this morning and I know what I want.

"Dauntless," I say, "I want Dauntless."

I know I'm leaving my mother forever. I know I'm giving up the only life I've ever known and saying goodbye to the last bit of family I have left, but I can't help but smile at my decision.

"Alright," she smiles, "I'll give you Dauntless. Remember what I said. Also, I probably should let you know to be careful in simulations; you're not supposed to know when you're in them"

"Thanks," I say, "For everything."

"It's nothing," she says, "You remind me a lot of my own daughter, you know."

And, going against both typical Abnegation and Erudite fashion, she hugs me.

"Be safe," she says, "I hope you don't mind that I lost your simulation; we Abnegation aren't very good with computers."

She winks as I walk out of the room. Then it hits me, I'm divergent. I don't even know what that means beyond what she's told me. I head out to the hall and try to think of ANY point in time when I may have ever heard that word. I come up with nothing. I even go so far as to pull out my computer and perform a hidden search in every database I can think of. Nothing.

I'm called from my search by someone announcing we're dismissed. I head outside and immediately find my mom's car. She doesn't ask me about my results; she's not supposed to know, anyway. We pull up to the Erudite living quarters and head to our house.

"I'm going to let you think through your results," my mother says, "Remember what I told you earlier."

"I will." I say.

"Oh, and Audrey," My mother starts.

"Yes?" I respond.

"Are you alright? You seem…different," she says. She can always tell when I'm out of it.

"Yeah," I say, "I'm fine. I'm just tired. I'll stay in my room until dinner."

I head to my room, shut the door, and I do what I do best: study.


	4. Chapter 4

As I sit in the car on the way to the Choosing Ceremony. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. I'm about to leave my mother and I'm the only person she has left. My father died so long ago, I can barely remember his face; now, I'm going to be leaving her, too. But I can't just stay; Erudite isn't where I belong. Suddenly, my mother speaks.

"Audrey, I know I told you this yesterday, but I'll say it again," she starts, "No matter what you choose, I trust your reasoning. And I love you."

All it takes is those words from my mother to set me at ease. She probably knows what I'm going to do; I've always stood out in Erudite. Actually running around and playing during recess, insisting that I was just trying to test the progress of a person's stamina with constant exercise. Finding any excuse I could to learn more about Dauntless, saying it was only to know as much about other factions as possible. I may have been smart, but I'm not textbook Erudite (pun totally intended.) She may even know about my hidden interests: that I secretly listen to music other than the classical and symphony music, that I used to draw on different areas of my body to see what it would be like to have a tattoo; I don't know what she knows, but she knows me. This is my last day with her before Visiting Day.

"I know, mom," I say with a smile, "And I love you, too. No matter what, I do."

Now we're at the Hub and we enter, hand in hand; another rare show of emotion for Erudite. I don't care, though, I won't get to feel her hand again for a long time. We make our way to the top in the elevator. Once inside, we sit and wait. It seems this year the ceremony is being hosted by Amity. As soon as it begins, I tune out the speaker and wait for my name. It feels like a thousand years, but finally, I hear it.

"Audrey Kilbourn"

I finally release my mother's hand and make my way to the stage. Johanna Reyes offers me a knife and I accept it. I slide the cold metal along my palm and feel the tell-tale sting of a cut. I watch my hand for a moment, looking at the ruby red slit that is slowly oozing blood. I then take in the sight of the bowls and find the one I'm looking for; the hot coals. I hold my palm over it and squeeze until a single drop sizzles within the bowl. I am now Dauntless.

I hear a cheer rise from the Dauntless section and head over to the noise. As I walk over, I notice a blond woman. She's so small yet toned, she's like a bird that could kick my ass. I think she notices me looking, because she smiles at me and mouths "Welcome to Dauntless" as I pass. I smile back and make my way over to the back where I wait for the end of the ceremony.

"Nice to see another transfer," whispers a girl in Amity yellow, "I'm Christa."

"Audrey," I whisper back, "Nice to meet you."

It's unusual for an Amity to switch over to Dauntless, but she doesn't have the same feeling as an Amity. Usually, people carry their old faction with them for a while, but she doesn't hold any of that vibe. The smirk as she watches, her dominant posture, even the way she wears her hair all go against the usual Amity stereotype.


	5. Chapter 5

Soon, the ceremony is over. There's thirteen transfers, total, including myself. One Amity, eight Candor, and four Erudite. As soon as we're dismissed, all the Dauntless dash out of the building. I smile at my mom one last time, then Christa and I run side-by-side, letting the crowd carry us over to what can only be the train.

"Guess we're jumping on," I shout to Christa over the cries of the Dauntless.

"Bet I can make it on before you!" she cries back and now, we're racing to the open doors.

We're even until at the last second, she lunges into the train car, rather than pulling herself in. I laugh at her daring act then pull myself into the car.

"Told you I could," she smirks back.

"Well, I think I prefer myself un-scraped," I reply, "Come on, let's see if we can help the other transfers."

We pull on just about everyone except for a Candor boy and girl; they just couldn't catch up. I look back and see the girl break down in tears. Of course, she's factionless now; I'd cry, too. Christa looks back at them too, closes her eyes, then looks ahead through the still-open doors.

"Where do you think we'll get off?" she asks. As soon as the words leave her mouth, I see the dauntless begin to jump onto a roof.

"Here, apparently," I tell her. And then I begin to calculate. The distance from the train to the roof, how much space I'll need, my approximate dismount velocity. Then, I'm ready.

"Come on, let's go together," I say, "Go back to here and jump when I say."

"Alright," she says, "I trust you."

We're coming closer, almost there…

"Now!" I shout. And together we dismount the train. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I roll out of the jump. Once I stop moving, I check myself over. No cuts, minimal scratches; all negligible damage.

"That was pretty smart," says a Candor boy, "I'm Alex, pleasure to meet you."

"He's right," says Christa, "I'm glad I made friends with an Erudite." I can tell by the look in her eyes that she has some interest this guy.

"Thanks," I say, "Wouldn't have made it through Erudite if I couldn't do that much."

Suddenly we hear shouting. It seems one of the jumpers is dangling from the roof; an Erudite. I recognize the face, it's Liza. I run over to help her, along with a bunch of the other initiates, but none of us reach her in time. She drops. I stop where I am and turn around. I don't want to see.

"Did you know her very well?" asks Christa, wrapping me in an embrace.

"No," I say, "I barely spoke to her." I can't help but feel a pit in my stomach, though. I remember seeing her around. I remember once how she joined me in my exercise "research" once. She seemed nice.

"Enough gawking!" shouts a man with so many piercings, I just have to count them all: 23. I could probably rip his face off with a magnet. Yet, something about them all seems so cool; almost sexy, "My name is Eric and I'm one of the leaders of your new faction! Many stories below us is the entrance to the Dauntless compound. If you can't jump, you don't belong in Dauntless. So, who's fir-"

"I'll jump," I call out.

"No questions or anything," he says. He is clearly surprised that anyone would volunteer so quickly.

"I'll jump," I say again, "There has to be something down there. You wouldn't just send us all to our deaths; that would be illogical."

"An Erudite smartass, huh," he says, "Nice, big…brains" and he's looking pointedly at my chest; the only D's I've ever gotten in my life.

"I do what I can," moving my head so he's looking at my face instead.

He smirks and I walk over to the ledge he was on. Before then, I look down at my skirt; I don't really need it anymore and I'd hate for it to get caught, so I take it off. Now, I'm presented with gasps and catcalls.

"What are you doing!" he shouts, this time extremely unprepared for my latest act.

"I don't want it to get caught and I have shorts on underneath," I say matter-of-factly.

"Well, hurry up," he replies, with a slight blush. I didn't even think that was possible. "We don't have all day."

"One last thing," I say as I remove my glasses, "Faction before blood." I smile, drop them on the ground, and stomp on them to break the lenses. I'm finally free of those stupid things.

"Faction before blood," he repeats with a smile.

I stand on the ledge, put out my arms, and let myself fall backwards into the hole. Suddenly, my back hits something and I bounce a few times. It seems to be a net. I roll out and two people help me out; the blond, young woman from earlier and a dark-haired, young man.

"That was faster than we expected," says the man with a smirk, "Welcome to Dauntless. Name?"

"Audrey," I reply.

"Make the announcement, Six," he says to, apparently, Six.

"First Jumper—Audrey!"


	6. Author's Note

Boy, this is embarrassing. I just realized that "Christa" and "Christina" are a little too similar for my liking. I'm going to change her name to Coraline because that name is awesome and I like the movie. Also, I'm too lazy to edit all the chapters...even if it's only two out of five...That is all, carry on, nothing to see here.


	7. Chapter 6

The last person descends into the net and I look at who's left; ten transfers and ten Dauntless-born initiates. I recognize the other two Erudites as that bitch Elizabeth and her asshole of a boyfriend Jared; I'm fairly sure his attitude is overcompensation for something. Anyway, everyone is assembled, so we begin to follow Six and the guy down a tunnel. I can't help but try to take in all my surroundings. The tunnel looks as though it was naturally occurring, but later changed by human hands. The dim lighting makes me think of the Mines of Moria from one of my favorite fiction stories by an ancient author. I look over to Coraline and we smile to each other; this place is the greatest. Soon, we reach a well-lit fork in the tunnel and Six speaks.

"Alright, this is where we split up," she begins, "Dauntless-born initiates, I doubt you all need a tour, so you'll be following Uriah and Christina."

"Boo!" we hear a male voice shout behind us. Most everyone jumped and even one Candor girl screamed.

That's when I see the two Dauntless that must have been following us for what has to have been the whole trip. I didn't even know they were there and, based on everyone else's reaction, they didn't either. They make their way to the front and a guy (Uriah I assume), still laughing, waves his hand for the Dauntless-born to follow him and the chuckling, young woman (probably Christina) beside him.

"Transfers, get over it and get moving," says Six. But as she begins to walk, I see her and the guy exchange a smile.

We continue to walk down this new tunnel when the guy speaks.

"Most of the time, I'm in the Control Room and she's in the Tattoo Parlor, but for the time being, we're your instructors," he says, "My name's Four and this is Six." It's different, but not the weirdest names I've ever heard; heck, there's an ancient record of an artist who named himself after an unpronounceable symbol. Or maybe this is meant to throw us off, like bait. Take it and they'll make you into an example.

"Like the numbers?" asks Alex. Both Coraline and I look at him; it seems we're following the same train of thought. And I think I catch a quick smirk by Six.

"Yes," Four replies, "Is that a problem?"

"No," Alex says and we continue on our way.

"Good," Four says with narrowed eyes. He relaxes his face then he continues, "We're going into the Pit, which you'll learn some day to love. It—" And again, Alex interrupts him. Someone, help that boy.

"The Pit? Clever name," he laughs. Coraline and I can't help but gape at him and his Candor mouth. And Six definitely smirked this time. Four just narrows his eyes and leans into Alex.

"What's your name?" he asks, his voice just above a whisper, but with enough steel behind it to make all of us initiates shiver. Alex simply goes pale, most likely just realizing his mistake.

"A-Alex"

"Well, Alex, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," he says, "The first lesson you will learn is to keep your mouth shut. Got it?"

Alex nods and Four continues down the tunnel. I think he and Six exchange yet another smile; it's still a little too dim to tell. With the suspense gone, I smirk and turn towards Alex.

"You just had to take the bait," I whisper.

"How was I supposed to know?" he whispers back.

"Maybe remember that these are our new big, scary instructors who can, and likely will, rip you to shreds?" Coraline says and we all share in a silent laugh.

We reach the end of the tunnel and Four and Six push open the double-doors that lead to "the Pit." Now that I can see it, "Pit" really is the most accurate description for the place. It's a gigantic cavern, probably carved out by a river. Boutiques, parlors, and other places have been carved out of the rock walls. I quickly note that every single path and walkway lacks any form of railing or handhold; guess I'll just have to make sure I never slip. People are all around, shouting, drinking, and generally doing things that would never have been accepted in Erudite. I relish in it; the dark color of the clothing, the bright hair, the piercings and tattoos. I've been waiting for a place like this my whole life. Excitement fills the eyes of Coraline and Alex as well and I can tell that as soon as we're free, we're going to have to explore this whole place.

"If you follow us," says Six, "We'll show you the Chasm." No comments this time on the name. But now that I've seen other Dauntless, I look at our instructors who seem fairly plain by comparison. Four looks the most reserved of the two, with a tattoo peeking out of the top of his shirt. Six, on the other hand, has some clearly visible…ravens? Crows? She also has a tattoo of both the Dauntless and Abnegation symbols; she's probably a transfer, then. She also seems to have gotten her ears pierced; one in each lobe. Not much compared to Eric or even many of the Dauntless around us.

We continue walking on the right side of the Pit and suddenly I hear the sound of some fast-moving water; I guess I was right about the origins of the Pit. It's also here that I see what must be the only railing in all of Dauntless dividing us from the river.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Six shouts over the water, "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You have been warned." As she says that last part, it's almost as if some of the light leaves her eyes. I can't help but wonder what, or who, she's thinking of.

From the Chasm, we continue to a well lit room; a dining hall full of tables, chairs, the clatter of silverware, and a buffet of delicious smelling food. Once inside, the room erupts in applause. People shout, stomp, bang their plates and cups, and I think I even hear someone fire off a shot or two. I've never heard so much noise and again, I'm filled with joy.

"Come on, let's get some food!" Coraline shouts as she drags Alex and me over to the beginning of the buffet.

Plates in hand, we search for an area to sit. Finally, we come across a table with a few empty spots. It has Four, Six, Uriah, Christina, and a bunch of people I don't recognize.

"Think we should?" asks Alex with a playful smile

"Well, we are Dauntless," says Coraline, "I think sitting there would be an ordinary act of bravery, don't you?"

"Then, let's sit," I say and we all make a beeline to the table and sit right across from our instructors. I can't help but notice their body language; it indicates that they're very close, to say the least.

"Welcome, initiates," says Uriah, "To save time, let's have the whole table introduce themselves. I'll start. I'm Uriah, pansycakes."

"For the love of God, Uriah, give up. No one's going to say that! And I'm Marlene."

"I have to agree with her. And it's Lynn."

"Of all things, pansycakes? And you call yourself an instructor. In case you didn't remember, it's Christina."

"Come on, Christina, we all know Uriah isn't the brightest bulb in the box. I'm Will."

"Uriah, you can't speak to initiates that way. How will they ever cope with such a horrible, insulting slang? Zeke, by the way."

"Oh, and who was the one who tried to bring 'lily liver' back? Shauna's the name."

"Pansycake will come back," Uriah insists with a smile, "And I assume those two have stayed quiet because you've all already met."

"And because we enjoy watching the show," Six says with a smile. The table dissolves into laughter and general conversation as we all eat.

"Think you got enough meat there?" Alex asks Coraline with a smirk. Her plate is stacked with a burger, hotdog, mac n cheese with bacon…basically, anything the kitchens had with meat in it.

"Hey, I've never gotten to eat meat in my life," she says with a mouth full of it, "I'm making up for lost time."

"And I thought all Hippies were bleeding hearts," laughs Zeke.

"They might be, but I'm definitely not a Hippie," she says, "I'm Dauntless."

"Reminds me of my first time having a burger," says Six with a smirk.

"So you were a transfer," I smile. Still can't fight that rush of being proven right; old habits die hard, I guess.

She eyes me for a second, back in instructor mode. She's probably checking for any hidden meaning behind it, "Good observation. I take it the tattoo gave it away."

"Yes, it did," I tell her. She simply nods then gets back to her food. At this point, most everyone has moved onto the cake which is like baked heaven. Fluffy, moist, chocolate-y, and with the perfect amount of icing. I've never had anything like it.

"Hey, Four," says Elizabeth with a look in her eyes that I clearly recognize. It seems she's found a new target for her to cheat on her boyfriend with. Seriously, this idiot.

"I really look forward to working with you," she says, leaning in so her chest is as close to his face as she can put it without smothering him, "I hope we get some private time together, too." At this point, Six looks about ready to strangle her.

"Not going to happen," Four says, visibly agitated.

"Are you sure?" she pouts. God, doesn't she know she looks like a duck when she does that? "Maybe after any lessons. I could even stop by your place…"

I'm officially fed up with her presence, "Leave, imbecile, you're an eyesore."

"I don't take orders from you!" she throws back.

"But you do take orders from me," says Six in an ice-cold voice, "And I agree that you should leave."

The idiot scoffs and runs away, tail between her legs.

"Better run, brain-dead!" Coraline calls after her.

"Could probably do better on the comeback, but I think she got the message," laughs Alex.

"I want her dead," Six and I say at the same time.

"I'm not supposed to say this," she says with a laugh, "But I really like you three." The whole table erupts in laughter all over again; even Four joins in. Training with those two shouldn't be as terrible as I thought it was going to be. Everyone relaxes much more and we all break back into conversation. Suddenly, I notice Eric walk over. Even his walk makes him stand out; confident to the point of arrogance. But I can't help but want to smile as he comes closer.

"If it isn't the stripping smartass," he says, for the most part killing my mood, "I see you've made a few friends."

"I guess so," I reply, "And last I checked, my name was Audrey."

"I'll call you what I want," he says, coming extremely close. I can't help but notice his grey eyes; there's a bit of ice to them, but they're just so magnetic at the same time. I must be a masochist. "And watch it, Nerd. Anyway, that's not what I'm here about. Four, Max was looking for you."

"It's been three years and every year, my opinion is the same," Four says with his jaw set. There's obviously something between them.

"Tell that to Max, then," Eric says, "Oh, and don't let your affection for the initiates cloud your judgment. Especially after what happened last year."

"It won't," says Four, tightening. Six simply glares; was Eric referring to her?

"Good," he says with a smile, "Then I guess we won't have any problems this time."

As soon as he leaves the table, Alex asks the question we all want to know the answer to.

"What was that all about?"

"He was in my initiate class," says Four, "He's deluded himself into thinking we're rivals. Erudite transfer."

"So you and Six are both transfers," I say, "Fitting. I assume he was referencing you and Six with that instructor comment."

"Much as we like you, don't look too deep," says Four, "We're still your instructors. Never forget that. And remember you're Dauntless now. Nerds are the only ones obsessed with answers."

I blush; how could I forget? So long as I'm an initiate, I can only be friendly with Four and Six, but not friends. I look down and mumble "Sorry" and continue eating. But then, Six looks at me and smiles.

"Hey," she says, "Don't take it too hard. He just likes to keep up his mysterious aura."

I smile back to her, glad that for once I might be wrong. Maybe we can be friends, even as instructor and initiate.


	8. Chapter 7

Alex fills us in on all the other Candors here. There's three guys: Jeremy, Darren, and Sam along with two girls: Kayla and Ashley. From what he says they're all okay. They all stick together, Kayla and Jeremy being the romantic glue that binds them. I also tell them more about Elizabeth and Jared and how terrible they are. Elizabeth: she manipulates others with her looks; she'd be formidable if she wasn't dumb as a rock. Jared: an obvious sociopath; his research projects always had something to do with torturing animals. Seeing how the molarity of an acid affected the time it took to dissolve a live rat, how big of a drop can a cat survive, and other horrendous things like that. We can't help but agree that, somehow, they need to go.

After a while, people slowly begin to trickle away from the table. Highlights of the meal included Zeke putting Uriah in a headlock and rubbing his head, Marlene attempting to throw fries into Lynn's open mouth, and no less than two food fights. Once the second finishes, Six gets up and glances over to her now cake-covered hair.

"Four, I'm going to go back to the apartment first," she says, "See you there. Oh, and thanks for using me as a human shield against Christina. You must care so much about me." It seems like she's trying to look mad.

"Any time, Six," he says with a laugh. He tries to give her a kiss, but she dodges out of the way. He responds by simply wrapping her in his arms, picking her up, and kissing her anyway as she laughs. "See you there."

"Aw, look at the big, bad instructor being all cute," says Zeke in a baby voice.

"Shut up," Four responds, with a bit of a blush. I don't know how I'm going to see him as scary ever again.

After Six, everyone else starts to get up, too. Everyone looks like a living buffet table, so I'm not surprised they all want to leave. As they all go, the thought strikes my mind: where are we supposed to stay? And the one who interrupts my thought is Eric.

"Transfers, follow me!" he shouts.

I wonder if he's going to take us to our rooms. If they tour us in a linear fashion based on necessity, then going to our bedrooms would make sense. He leads us through a bunch of hallways and I try to memorize each turn. Left, right, right, left, slight right; it's as if they want us to get lost. Then, we're at a set of wooden doors. He stops in front of them, turns around, crosses his arms, and addresses our curious faces.

"We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I'm going to oversee most of your training," he begins, and I can't help but notice that I'm extremely happy about it.

"Some ground rules," he continues, "You have to be in the training room by eight o' clock every day. Training takes place from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation." So a little under ten hours of training a day; let's hope my "stamina research" paid off.

""You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," Eric adds. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds for each of you. It seems we anticipated the right number of you this year."

"But we started with thirteen," says Alex. I let out a sigh and Coraline smacks her forehead. Will this guy never learn?

"There's always at least one transfer that doesn't make it to the compound," Eric says in a manner that indicates he gets this question a lot, "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect—"

"Ranked," says Jared with a scoff, "Why are we ranked?" Did he not look into Dauntless at all? We hold all their records and it's not that hard to see that they only gain ten members each year, every year. That is no coincidence.

"What is it with you Noses interrupting me," he says with an agitated look on his face. Then, he smiles, but there's something about it that seems…dark, "Your ranking serves two purposes. The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available. The second purpose is that only the top ten initiates are made members." I'm the only one not surprised by this news. Sometimes, I hate being right.

"What?" asks Coraline. I was expecting Alex to take the bait again. Maybe he rubbed off on her or she's too shocked to control herself.

"There are ten Dauntless-born and ten of you," Eric says, ""Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."

I guess we'll have to stay as far away from the bottom as possible if we want to remain. Coraline looks at me; I wonder if she noticed that I haven't given any reaction so far. I look back at her and try to give her a reassuring smile. We're going to get through this together.

"What do we do if we're cut," asks Jeremy. This is the most obvious question ever. There's a reason why most fanctionless tend to have some Dauntless black.

"You leave the Dauntless compound," says Eric indifferently, "And live factionless."

Kayla and Ashley joins hands, their eyes watering. Jeremy, Darren, and Sam can't look at each other; they're competitors now. Jared just stares at the ground. Neither Alex nor Coraline have a single comment to make.

"Bullshit!" Elizabeth screams, "If you'd told us—"

"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward."

He kicks the door open, "You chose us, now we have to choose you."

As soon as we're all in, he leaves and shuts the door behind him. I can't help but feel like he was watching me as he left. Did he notice my lack of reaction? Does he assume I already knew what I was in for? I put those thoughts aside as Coraline, Alex and I choose three beds near each other. I'm by a wall, Coraline takes the middle, and Alex is on her other side. As soon as we're laying down, Coraline turns to face me.

"Think we'll be okay?" she whispers, her hazel eyes locking on mine. This is unusual; she's not showing as much fire as she did earlier. I brush aside a strand of her black hair that has gone in her face.

"I know we will," I say, taking her hand, "And you know, I'm always right."

She soon falls asleep and her limp hand falls out of mine. But I can't seem to turn my mind off long enough to drift off, so I take in my surroundings again. Alex is trying to fall asleep, it seems ; he's flat on his back, hands behind his head slowly scratching his strawberry blond hair. Kayla and Ashley have fallen asleep with their beds pushed together. They must have been crying beforehand, because they sniffle even in the middle of their slumber. Elizabeth has taken the most unflattering position possible and spread herself along her bed, mouth open, snoring. I wish I had some sort of camera. Jared is in about the same position; it's like they were made for each other. The guys are all sleeping except for Darren whose bed I see occasionally shake. He must still be up and crying, but at least he's able to keep it quiet like everyone else. I look at the ceiling and decide that I need to sleep now or else I'll look like hell in the morning. Most people count sheep, but I start to rattle off the digits of pi in my head until they lull me into a mathematical slumber.

**A/N: Personally, I actually know over 40 digits of pi ^_^ Also, I'm so on a roll today! If I keep up this pace, I may even get another chapter done before the day's over. *Fingers crossed***


	9. Chapter 8

Everyone stands around the Firing Range, waiting. Many are puffy eyed, but no one makes any comments. By now, it's sunk in for everyone; it's fight or flight time. Four, Six and Eric begin walking around the room, passing around guns.

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second is how to win a fight," Six says, "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so we don't need to teach you that." As she's speaking, Eric puts a gun in my hand and our eyes meet for a moment. I want to curse as I feel my face go red and he leaves, smirking.

"Initiation is divided in to three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time," Four says.

I contemplate the gun sitting in my hands, identifying the parts I'd only ever read about rear sight, barrel, front sight, muzzle, trigger guard, trigger, magazine, magazine release, and safety. A standard, semi-automatic hand gun. It almost reminds me of the laser guns we'd used in Erudite to measure velocity. The aiming shouldn't be that different and, with the distance that the targets are at, the drop the bullet experiences from gravity will be negligible. I should only have to worry about the recoil as far as firing the gun itself goes. But to fire at something or someone? I can probably fire at a target all day, but I don't know if could pull the trigger if the target had a face.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear," Four continues, "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

Jared yawns, "I don't see what firing a gun has to do with bravery. Anyone can aim and fire. It proves noth—" He's been waving his gun around his whole soliloquy. I guess Six has gotten tired of it, because she grabs his hand, twists it so he releases his gun, throws him to the ground, points her gun at his head, and loads a bullet into the chamber.

"Wake. Up. You were holding a loaded gun you idiot," she snaps, "Act like it!" She lowers her gun and Elizabeth quickly picks him up. He continues to stare at Six with surprise and…is that desire? Those two idiots really are meant for each other; they have no concept of reality. It's amazing, really.

"And to answer your question…you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself," she says.

"This is information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me," Four says as he turns towards a target. I absorb everything he's doing. He stands shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent. He holds the gun with both hands, his left hand keeping the gun steady. His right arm is almost completely straight, but not locked while his left arm has a bit more of a bend. He breathes out and then he fires. He repeats this twice. He hits dead center each and every time. I'm not sure, but I think he even got the bullets through the same hole each time.

"With practice, you all may one day be as good," Six says, "Now, get shooting."

Everyone lines up with a target and begins firing. I try to imitate Four, but on my first shot, the recoil of the gun forces my hands upwards. I make a hole in the top of my target just above the outer ring; it seems the recoil will be my biggest issue. I try two more times, two more holes slightly lower on the target, but not in the center where I'm aiming. I simply can't seem to keep my hands from moving with the recoil and the effort of fighting it is making them hurt. Suddenly, Eric walks over to where I am.

"You're holding your arms in the right stance, but you have to relax them, don't be rigid," he says as he adjusts my arms, "Try now." I fire and hit dead center.

"See," he almost whispers in my ear, "Dead center, Audrey." I'm fairly sure that my face is as red as my hair now. Does he really have to tease me as I hold a deadly weapon. But something else sticks out, he used my name.

"Thanks, for the advice and for addressing me correctly," I say, unable to look him in the face. So much for being Dauntless.

"Figure I should, since you are the first initiate to actually hit the center," he says. That's when I finally look around me and see that everyone else really hasn't hit the center just yet. Alex, Coraline, and Darren have come close, but none have any holes dead center. Coraline and I make eye contact and she smirks; it seems we're going to be talking about this later. "Just don't let it get to your head." And he walks away without another word and I try my best to concentrate on shooting. Then, I hear the idiot speak.

"Four, I'm having some trouble hitting the target, do you think you can help me," Elizabeth says, gun at her side with a finger twirling her curly, brown hair.

"I'll help you," Six says making a beeline to Elizabeth.

"First, move your feet." She uses her foot to forcefully push Elizabeth's feet apart.

"Second, bend your knees." She kicks Elizabeth's knees in a bit.

"Third, use two hands." She smacks Elizabeth's other hand onto the gun.

"And finally, unlock your arms." She forces Elizabeth's arms to bend slightly.

"Now, get shooting and don't talk anymore," Six says directly into Elizabeth's face, "And watch out, I'd hate for you to accidentally get hit in the foot or something by a stray bullet." Elizabeth may want to apply some water to that burn.

We shoot for a while longer, a smile on my face the whole time. Once it's time for the lunch break, we head to the dining hall, load our plates, and head to the table we sat at last time. The only ones there from dinner are the non-trainers; I guess Four, Six, Christina, and Uriah must be busy with their duties. As soon as we sit at the table, Coraline turns to me with a glint in her eye.

"So, tell me all about it," she says with her smirk back.

"About what?" I say, blushing.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about," she says, "You and Eric, him running his hands all over your arms and whispering in your ear; you blushing so bright, I think you were brighter than your hair with your eyes looking everywhere but at him. That's what."

"You have a thing with Eric?" Shauna asks, "Dauntless leader with a ton of metal attached Eric? Probably the most arrogant guy in Dauntless Eric?" What have I just gotten into?

"We don't have a thing," I say blushing, "He just helped me with shooting is all."

"But he never helps initiates," Marlene adds, "Tortures and yells at them, maybe, but he never helps them."

"He fixed my form, he can't be that bad," I insist.

"So you two don't have a thing, but you're defending him," Coraline says. For all that I say about Alex, I took the bait.

"Just be careful, okay," Lynn says, "He has a reputation as a womanizing jerk." Now, I'm just kicking myself. Why do I have to have any attachment to this guy? Thankfully, I'm saved by Alex.

"As interesting as Audrey and Eric's not-a-thing thing is, I think Six completely shutting down Elizabeth and Jared deserves its own play by play." He gives me a slight smile; I owe him one.

"She did what?!" says Zeke with the most amused expression on his face and I'm finally out of the hot seat. Alex recalls our day of shooting to everyone, but as he's speaking Coraline looks at me with a face that says the conversation isn't over. I'm going to have so much fun with that later.


	10. Chapter 9

After lunch, we're brought to a room with brand new wooden floors, a red circle painted in the center, and a techno board like we always used in schools. The board has each of our names in alphabetical order displayed. There's also some shiny punching bags hanging from the walls. It looks like everything in this room has barely been used. Four steps into the center of the circle with Six as Eric stands by the board.

"As Six said this morning," says Four, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges —which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless." I try to clear my mind of any distractions; I intend to stay here if it kills me. But I can't stop my eyes from continually wandering over to Eric. What is going on with us?

"We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other," says Six, "Feel honored, you all will be the first initiates to use the refurbished gym."

"Now pay attention," says Four, "Those who don't learn fast will get hurt."

Six and Four start to mock-fight now, announcing different attacks and the appropriate counter-attack. I try to concentrate on each move. Left jab, right straight, hooks, uppercuts, roundhouse, side and front kicks, elbow and knee strikes. I've studied these things before, in books and online, but studying is very different from doing.

"Alright, if you've been paying attention, you can work on these techniques with the bags," says Six. We're all about to head over to the wall of them when Eric speaks up.

"I think they should also have a short demonstration on ground fighting," he says.

"Fine, then," Four says, agitated, "Six, go—"

"No, I think I'll demonstrate this time," Eric says, "You, get in the ring with me." And he's pointing at me.

"Me?"

"Yes, you, get over here," he says, "What better way to learn than hands-on." Eric is smirking at this point and I don't know what to think. As soon as I'm within reach, he sweeps me and I'm lying on my back on the ground. I scowl up at him; what is with him?

"When fighting, your opponent may throw you. They may try to mount you to both keep you on the ground and make you an easy target. Obviously, don't let them. If you can't get up, use your legs to keep them away and find a way to trap them in your legs." Then he gets on his knees and wraps my legs around his waist, pulling them tight. I was not prepared for this.

"This is called a guard. Keep your hips off the ground and you should have substantial control over your opponent. They can try to punch you, but you should be able to hold them back with your legs. It's not the best, but it's better than being mounted." As he's talking, I can't concentrate. My legs are wrapped so tightly around him that I can feel him breath.

"You can submit someone from here but it won't be easy. Instead, it's better to move your opponent into a more ideal position. To do this, pull your ankles to your butt and your knees to your chest." I do as he says and suddenly his face is hovering right on top of mine and his hands are on the floor. My mind is starting to wander into the gutter now.

"Now that your opponent is off-balanced, trap one of their arms with yours, plant your feet, and roll to the side where you've taken their arm." I do as he says. He's heavier, but I get him over and end up on top of him. I try to keep as much of my weight off of him as possible; this is awkward enough as it is without me sitting on him.

"You should have mount, then. You can punch, choke, and do many other things from here. Plant your waist on top of theirs, keep your knees spread to lower your hips, and keep your feet tight against your opponent." He grabs my hips and pushes more of their weight on top of himself. He starts to slide his hands down to my knees, but I got the message at this point; I spread them and keep my feet tight to his body. I hope the redness in my face can be attributed to effort.

"You can stay on the hips or you can move up to the chest; just avoid the stomach or you'll be tossed. Beyond that, you guys can figure it out what to do on your own," he says, "Get off now." I rush off and practically run back to the safety of the herd. I finally look at everyone around me and they're all staring as if I've grown a second head. Coraline just keeps looking at me with a wicked grin on her face; I'll never hear the end of this from her. Even Four and Six are giving me a quizzical look. Four seems to be the one to shake it off the fastest.

"We don't have all day, initiates!" he shouts, "Move!" And we all run over to a bag and start hitting. While I smack my bag, I can't help but think about what just happened. Is he toying around with me? Is this something serious or is he just womanizing like Lynn said? Whatever, I'm just going to unleash my frustration on the bag.

"Nice hits," says Six, "You're doing really well for a transfer. Just hold back a little more; let the others underestimate you." Then she turns so that her back is to everyone, but me.

"Are you okay? That was really unusual," she whispers, "Typically, when Eric demonstrates something, he leaves the initiate more than a little bloody and crying."

"I just don't know what's happening," I whisper back, still hitting the bag, but holding back more like she said, "I don't know if he's toying or serious."

"I'm here for you," she smiles to me, "Personally, I don't like him at all, but this is your life; you control it, no one else does." And I realize she's right. No matter what his intentions are, this is my life and I won't just be his plaything.

It feels like it's only been a few minutes, but Four and Six dismiss us to dinner. As we're heading out, I see Jared run over to Six who's drinking out of her water bottle.

"Hey Six, maybe you and I can do some of those ground techniques together sometime," he says with a smirk. Six simply looks at him like he's some disgusting thing that crawled out of nowhere. Four walks up behind Jared, which makes Six smile. Jared must think it's about his offer because he opens his stupid mouth again.

"I see you like that. Maybe tonight around—"

"So, you want to do ground techniques?" Four says. Jared whips around and looks over Four. Looks like idiots are the bravest because he chooses to talk back.

"Yeah, I was talking to Six about it. What of it?" This guy has a death wish.

Four leans down to Jared with a murderous look on his face, "How about this. You're going to get out of this room and head over to dinner like a good little initiate. If you want to learn ground techniques so badly, I'll work with you. You will not approach Six for anything ever again. If you do, you and I will have a very, very big problem. Do you understand me?" Jared seems to have taken the hint this time. He nods and follows after Elizabeth who somehow managed to miss the exchange. For two people who cheat so often and so openly, it's amazing how neither ever notices; maybe they just don't want to.

"You know, I almost don't mind being hit on if it meant getting to see you be jealous" Six says, wrapping her arms around Four. He smiles at her, but I don't wait to hear his reply; I'd rather let them have their moment. Instead, I run to catch up with Coraline and Alex.

**A/N: Fun Fact- I do BJJ, kickboxing, and karate in my spare time, which came in handy this chapter ^_^**


	11. Chapter 10

I don't know how she managed to contain herself, but Coraline waits until we're sitting at the table to gush about what happened.

"Alright, there's been a new development in the Audrey/Eric not-a-thing thing," she says with a wicked grin. At least I'm good entertainment.

"What is this thing you're all talking about?" Christina asks.

"You haven't heard about Audric yet?" says Coraline.

"Audric?" I say, "What the heck is Audric?"

"That is what I'm calling you two," Coraline says.

"Alright, ladies assemble!" shouts Christina, "Fill me in on 'Audric.'" She says with a gleam in her eye. Suddenly all the girls shift to one end of the table. Even Lynn moves over after a sigh.

"What's happening?" asks Alex. Even I want to know.

"The girls are about to start gossiping," says Uriah, "Just eat your food and keep out of their way before they drag you in." Great, I'm turning red again. I wonder if someone can die of embarrassment. Guess I'll find out.

Coraline proceeds to fill everyone in, starting from our exchange before my jump all the way to what just happened at the gym.

"And so," she finishes, "What do you girls think?"

"Sounds sketchy," says Marlene, "Usually when he's just messing with a girl, he's much more…'forward.'"

"Forward?" asks Coraline.

"He finds a girl, buys her a drink, sucks her face, then drags her back to his lair," says Lynn, "I've seen it happen a couple times at the bar. It reminded me of one of those animal documentaries like they used to show in school."

"So, is that what's happening? Is he going to offer me a drink next, then?" I ask, more than a little mad. If I'm just another lay to him, I don't care if he's a Dauntless leader or not, I will strangle him.

"That's the thing," says Christina, "Usually the timeline is much shorter than this. He should've been offering you that drink right after your shooting lesson at the latest."

"Then, he might not just be messing around?" Why does this have to be so hard. At least in Erudite, you can tell what someone's intentions are if they start asking your IQ score; that's how we…they…usually decide whether or not to date someone.

"It's a little early to tell, but he hasn't openly smacked your ass or tried to grab your boobs," says Marlene, in what I think is supposed to be a reassuring manner, "That's a good sign."

"Well, has he ever really dated anyone?" All the girls at the table shrug and say something along the lines of "I dunno."

"I don't think he has," says Six, "But I think a better question is whether or not you want to, despite his reputation." She's so caring, it's clear she came from Abnegation; I find myself loving this side of her.

"I don't know," I say, "I think I like him, but I'm not going to be something for him to use and throw away."

"Well, we're here for you," Six says, giving me a smile.

"And I'll punch him if he hurts you," says Coraline. I can't help but laugh; for someone who came from Amity, she's surprisingly violent. But I guess it's not too much of a surprise, since she is here now.

"I think we need to get your mind off of this," says Christina, with a smile, "Shopping trip, anyone?" Marlene and Coraline jump at the idea, but Six and Lynn share a sigh and mutter "Fine." I just smile and say "Sure." I could use a distraction and I do need a larger wardrobe than the three shirts, two pairs of pants, and pair of shoes all the transfers were issued.

"Yes!" shouts Christina, "Let's start at my shop for new clothes and we'll work our way around to see if you guys like anything else."

"Think we can stop at a tattoo parlor?" Coraline asks, "I was thinking of getting some work done."

"I know just the place for that," says Six, smiling.

All the girls get up at once, much to the dismay of the boys. Christina is at the front of the group, practically running to the exit. The guys shout something after us, probably asking where we're going, but Christina just shouts "Girl's day!" over her shoulder and off we go to the shopping area.

As soon as we set foot in the store, Christina starts throwing clothes over to Coraline and me, telling us to try all of them on. I try on each outfit and can't help but notice how perfect each one is. No wonder she's running a clothing boutique, each of the shirts, pants, skirts, and dresses make me look nothing short of amazing. After a while, she even starts to throw shoes over.

"Don't worry too much about price," Christina shouts through the door of the dressing room, "I'll give you guys a special discount because you're new." Coraline and I shout our thanks back; she is really nice. We each settle on a few outfits we like, despite Christina's insistence we take more.

"Wait, before we leave, pick an outfit to wear," she says. Coraline picks a black dress with fishnet sleeves and open toed wedged heels while I throw on a strapless corset top with black jeans that are ripped all the way up the thigh and high heeled ankle booties.

"I'm going to put make-up on both of you, now," Christina says already starting to apply eyeliner on Coraline. We both smile, glad to finally be looking like Dauntless girls. I don't think I've ever been happier wearing make-up than I am now. The Erudite style is almost completely natural colors, except for the occasional blue eye shadow. It's always seemed way too tame for me; I'm glad that I can finally wear make-up with an edge to it. Like lightning, Christina finishes with Coraline. She looks like a different person; the gilded shadow bringing out the gold in her eyes while making the brown and green tones shine, the eyeliner makes her eyes pop even more, and her red lipstick with gold accents make her lips look amazing. Forget fashion, Christina could even be a professional make-up artist. She moves onto my face begins the process all over again. It doesn't take longer for her to finish with me.

"Alright, have a look," she says handing me a mirror. I gaze at my reflection and can't believe it's me. The light orange with green undertones make my already green eyes shine out like emeralds while somehow making my hair appear even brighter. The sunset orange shade of lipstick blends well with the eye shadow and compliments my hair further; I look like a fire goddess.

"You guys like?" she asks with a smirk that says she knows what our answer will be.

"Yes!" Coraline and I shout as we laugh and hug her. I've never felt more beautiful.

Bags in hand and completely made over, we continue to shop. Marlene and Christina help us with buying make-up and nail polish and give us tips on application. Six and Lynn also point out all the good bars and restaurants. After a while, Six speaks up.

"Alright, I think we're all shopped out," she says, "Tattoo time, now." With that, she takes the lead bringing us to a tattoo parlor.

"Here's where I work when I'm not training," she says, "Initiates, meet Tori." At hearing her name, Tori looks up from the person she's working on, smiles and waves, then returns to her work. She's extremely pretty and, based on her face, had ancestors that were called "Orientals" back when society was split based on ethnicity.

"Have a look around and tell me if you've found something you like," Six says, and we all split off.

Every inch of wall is covered with drawings. They range from the faction symbols to plants and animals. Coraline and I look around and I notice a glass case full of jewelry; it seems they do piercings, too.

"I'm thinking of two trees," Coraline says, "Right on my back."

"Why trees?"

"For my family," she says, with a wistful look on her face, "One for each of my parents. They always reminded me of trees; strong, firm, and always lifting me higher."

"Then I think I'll get an emerald fire," I say, "My father's eyes were emerald, but I got my mom's fiery hair…and personality."

We both head over to Six with our choices. She immediately gets started and a few hours later, she's done.

"Don't sleep on them and put some of this ointemt on them later," Six says, placing a bandage on my now-tattooed left hip, "You know, I did the same thing with my ravens. One for each family member, but I added a fourth for Four." Coraline and I smile, glad that she shared this with us. I'm about to leave when I make a split-second decision.

"Six, do you think I could get some piercings?"

"Where and how many," she asks with a curious look on her face.

"I was thinking three of them," I say, "One in each earlobe and a stud in my nose."

"Fun," she replies, "Let's get started." The piercings take much less time than the tattoos, not even half an hour.

"You should be able to remove those piercings whenever you want. Piercing has evolved to the point where you no longer have to keep something in the hole for weeks," Six says, "But clean the piercing regularly, just in case. I put in studs for now, so you shouldn't have to worry about fighting."

"Will do," I say with a smile, "I guess we better get going if we want to be able to wake up in the morning."

"Good idea," Six says, "See you bright and early tomorrow."

Coraline and I start walking back to our room, but as we're leaving, she nudges me with her arm.

"Trying to look more like your beloved Eric," she says with a grin on her face.

"No," I say looking away to hide my red face, "I've just always wanted a couple piercings."

"You say that, but your face tells a different story. Have fun dreaming about your man tonight. I hope your heart can last until morning." She's almost breaking down with laughter at this point. I give her a shove, soft enough to be playful yet hard enough to let her know I mean it.

"Be quiet, or should I tell Alex that I caught you staring at his ass while he was kicking?"

"You will not!"

"You know, I think I will." And I start running, with Coraline chasing after me and shouting obscenities. We may have known each other for only two days, but it already feels like we've been friends forever.


	12. Chapter 11

Four, Six, and Eric block our view of the board as we all file in. I try to look at Eric through the corner of my eye, but he doesn't look over at all. All of my insecurities from yesterday come rushing back to me. But, I feel my tattoo and remember my mother's words again; I won't fear the unknown. I'll find out, eventually and nothing will change that. All three of them move away from the board and Six addresses us.

"There's an even number of you, so everyone will be fighting today. Look on the board for who you're matched with." I look at the board and find my name on the top with Elizabeth's right next to it. I look over to Six and she gives me a smirk; I'll have to thank her later for arranging this.

"Looks like it's your lucky day," Coraline says, smiling over at me, "I'm with Kayla. She's so sweet, I don't know how I'll hit her."

"I got Jeremy," Alex says, "His attacks are just as honest as he is. He doesn't use any fakes or anything."

"At least none that you've ever seen," I say, "Don't let your guard down."

"I'm worried about Ashley, though," Coraline says, "She's up against the sociopath."

"I just hope his body is as slow as his brain," Alex says, "She may have a chance, then."

"First fighters, into the ring!" Four shouts, "Everyone else, practice or wait."

I walk into the ring, while Elizabeth prances over, giving a quick wave to Four. We both get in a fighting stance and I try to find her weaknesses. Her hands are too far from her face to properly stop a punch, her elbows are too far out, leaving her ribs exposed, her feet are too close for her to have a solid stance, and when she moves she crosses her feet. This will be too easy.

"How do we know when to stop?" Elizabeth asks, batting her eyelashes. You'd think a girl would learn.

"When one of you can't fight anymore," Eric says. Good.

She decides that talking while moving in would be the best idea, "I've always wanted to kick your ass. You may have been good in Erudite, but here, you're—" My right fist connects with her jaw. That's the nice thing about a right straight; no one expects you to start with one. She wipes the blood from her mouth, then lunges at me. Again, she starts talking.

"You bi—" Left hook, right straight, left uppercut to a sweep. She goes down and I slam my knee into her stomach, knocking the air out of her; hopefully, she'll shut up now. I slide my knee across her stomach and take mount, for once thankful for yesterday's lesson. She tries to fight me off, but it's too late; I punch her until she stops moving.

"Great job," Six says, smiling, "Think you can drag her to the side?"

"Sure." I grab Elizabeth's arms and drag her out the ring. As soon as she's far enough away, I drop her.

"The hell?" Oh, she's awake now.

"Rise and shine. You just lost. Now, whose ass were you going to kick?" She glares up at me and I smile and walk over to Coraline. Halfway there, Eric stops me.

"Very nice," he says, with a devilish grin, "Looks like you got some fire, too." He brushes his hand over part of the tattoo peeking out of my pants. I'm tired of just blushing; let's see how he likes it.

"I've always had fire," I say, putting my hand over his to keep it in place, "I just need the right people to make it burn." I strut away as I feel his eyes watching me. I won't be a toy.

"Way to dominate," she says, "I think everyone here wanted to give you a standing ovation for your fight and based on the look on Eric's face, I'd say you just won a battle."

"Now, onto the war," I respond with a smile.

Next to fight are Darren and Sam. They have a similar build, but their fighting styles are very different. Darren uses kicks to keep Sam away, then comes in with strikes. Sam tends to dance around Darren, striking fast, then backing off. They're evenly matched, but Darren fakes getting hit by one of Sam's punches, convincing Sam to continue in. Darren takes the moment to hit Sam with a back fist, then kick him in the stomach. Sam goes down and Darren finishes the match with a kick to the head. As soon as Sam's out, Darren carries him out of the ring and tries to wake him up. Soon as Sam sits up, he claps Darren on the back; it's not like he could hold it against him, not everyone is as happy as I was about the rules.

"Guess it's my turn now," says Coraline as she heads over to the ring, "Wish me luck."

It's rather obvious she won't need it. The one thing she carried with her from Amity is a muscular frame from hours of farming. Coraline's also fast; I don't see Kayla doing well. Kayla's slender, so she may have a chance at being faster than Coraline, but I don't think she'll be fast enough to make a difference. Coraline and Kayla circle each other, but neither is in any hurry to throw the first hit.

"One of you will have to strike first eventually," Four says, "Just get it over with."

As soon as he says that, Kayla punches towards Coraline. Looks like I underestimated her speed; she successfully hits Coraline in the center of her face. But it seems Kayla didn't hit her hard enough; Coraline just brushes it off and follows up with a left jab and right hook. Kayla stumbles backwards, so Coraline throws a roundhouse. It hits Kayla full in the ribs, but she grabs onto Coraline's leg and throws her down. As Kayla comes closer, Coraline kicks her in the face with her other leg and stands back up. Kayla's nose is heavily bleeding now and she seems dazed. Coraline throws another left jab and right hook and finishes with an uppercut. Kayla falls and doesn't get up. Rather than wait for Coraline to carry her off, Jeremy lifts Kayla and takes her off. He sets her down and kisses her on the forehead; I can't help but think it's the cutest thing ever.

Jeremy and Alex step into the ring now. As soon as both are inside, Jeremy rushes Alex. He punches his left arm forward, but as soon as Alex gets ready to block, he turns and throws a left roundhouse instead. I guess he was just hiding his fakes. Alex is caught off guard by the kick and has the wind knocked out of him; he lurches forward and Jeremy moves in to knee him in the face. Alex rolls out of the way, stands, and throws a punch to the side of Jeremy's face. He stumbles a bit, but goes back into a defensive position. Alex goes in again, throwing a typical one, two combo, but Jeremy dodges the second punch while pivoting so he ends right behind Alex. He hops on Alex's back, wrapping his arms around Alex's neck and his legs around Alex's waist. For the remainder of the fight, Alex tries to throw Jeremy off, but he's just wrapped around too tightly; after a while, he collapses on the ground, knocked out.

I look over to Coraline and she's straight faced and pale. I take her hand to assure her he'll be fine and we walk together over to where Jeremy left Alex. With his air and blood flow no longer inhibited, he soon wakes up.

"I swear that guy's secretly a monkey," he says with a hoarse whisper. Coraline and I both laugh; now that he's awake, Coraline seems much better.

"Yeah, with your reflexes, he mistook you for a tree," Coraline says with a smile.

I give them some space and look back at the ring; the final fight is Jared and Ashley and I can't see it going well. I just hope she can outsmart him. Ashley takes the incentive to strike first and punches Jared twice in the face; she tries to throw a knee into his chest, but he catches it and backhands her across the face. She hits him in the throat with her knuckles, causing him to wheeze and release her leg. They both catch their breath and I look at his eyes; they have the same look they always got when he was about to torture something small and defenseless; Ashley needs to come up with something good now. Jared rushes her first and she tries to move out of the way, but he catches her hair and starts punching her face again and again. There's a huge gash above her eyebrow, covering her face with blood, but she keeps fighting back. He lets go of her hair and she drops to all fours; he kicks her in the stomach and I hear all the air leave her body. He continues to kick her in the stomach, but never hard enough to end the fight and the smile on his face says he won't stop it anytime soon.

"Please…stop." I don't know how Ashley can speak through all the blood. "I…I c-can't." Jared actually pauses in his attack and just smirks down at her.

"You can't? What do you mean you can't? Get up, now." What the heck is Eric doing? Ashley struggles to stand, so he just grabs her by the collar and heads out the door with her. Four and Six give each other a look and follow after him with the rest of us. We stop in front of the railing dividing us from the river below.

"Climb over it." He has to be kidding.

"What?"

"Climb over the railing. If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes, I'll forget your cowardice. If you can't, I won't allow you to continue initiation." I don't know what I even see in him. Is there anything anyone can do about this? But I know the answer to that; he's a Dauntless leader which means Four and Six can't do anything. And everyone here wants to stay too much to do anything.

"Okay." Ashley puts her feet on the bottom of the railing, swings one foot over, then the other. She takes a deep breath then clutches onto the railing, and finally lowering each leg; her arms are all that are keeping her with us now. She keeps her mouth shut tight and breathes through her nose while keeping her eyes closed.

"Eyes open or the time restarts." This asshole. Ashley opens her eyes and glares at him instead. She's halfway done with her time when her arms begin shaking; Kayla puts her face in Jeremy's chest and starts crying. I start to strategize, I will not let there be another Liza. Before her arms give out, there's going to be a brief pause in the shaking; I'll have to move the very minute that happens. She's down to a minute and a half now when the river splashes her; she shrieks and her breathing becomes rapid.

"Come on, Ashley, hold on!" I finally look at Darren and he looks like he's either going to cry or run over to her and pull her up. "It's less than a minute now, just a few more seconds, please."

I begin to count down the time and finally five minutes are up. The very second it's over, Four, Six, Darren, and I all run over to her to get her back over the railing.

"Good job, initiate," Eric says. I have no idea how he can talk now.

"You're all done for today. Go." Six says, while glaring at Eric. Everyone leaves, each taking a moment to glare at Eric, but I stick around to talk with him. It's about time we cleared the air, I guess.

"The hell was that all about?"

"I was teaching an initiate a lesson," he says with a glare, "Don't act like you know any better just because you won a fight."

"This isn't about me winning a fight, this is about you almost killing someone!" And I shove him. He stares at me livid.

"Shut up and watch." And suddenly he's climbing over the railing. He grabs onto the railing and drops his feet down, so he's hanging. Then he lets go.

"Eric!" No, this can't be happening. Please, don't let this be happening.

"I'm fine! Look down, you idiot!" What the hell? I look over and see him standing on a small ledge that barely fits a person.

"In case you haven't noticed, there's a ledge. As long as she wasn't dumb enough to lean backwards, she would have been fine. And now, she'll never quit again." He jumps up, catching the bars of the barrier and climbs back over. He leans against the railing and scowls at me. I wasn't exactly wrong, but I wasn't right either.

"How was I supposed to know about a damn ledge?" I say it more like an excuse than an accusation. I can't pick my eyes up off the ground either.

"How about you don't assume I'm a bastard next time?" He walks away and I stare at him he leaves. I hate that I feel tears coming. I hate that I'm mad, sad, annoyed, and a thousand other things all at the same time. I hate that he's right.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, I was stuck in bed sick. Running a fever, throwing up, can't move, considering going to the hospital sick. Monday through Wednesday, I may go out of town, which means no updates and then possibly a flood of them Thursday :p**


	13. Chapter 12

As I walk away from the Chasm, I feel empty. Why did things have to turn out like this? I could have figured out that he wouldn't kill her; it's the same reason why I jumped first. But still, doing something like that and expecting me to be okay with it isn't fair, either. I'm just so confused. I head over to the Dining Hall; we were dismissed and that's probably where everyone else is.

I grab food from the Dining Hall, but I don't even want to eat. I sit with everyone else and notice they're all talking about what happened.

"I really can't believe he'd do that again," says Christina, "First me, now Ashley. Is this going to be a yearly thing now? What's that sociopath going to do when someone finally falls?"

"Laugh, probably," says Four with a grimace. I just can't listen.

"There was a ledge." It comes out as barely a whisper, but they all hear it.

"What did you say?" Six asks, just as confused as everyone else.

"I asked…well…yelled at him about what he was doing. So, he jumped over the railing, hung from it, and let go. He landed on a ledge right below. It's barely enough for one person, but it's directly below when you dangle. Just don't lean…" Everyone goes silent for a while, just staring at the table. Uriah breaks the tension.

"I know what my new party trick is." Zeke just smacks the back of his head. At least Uriah tried.

"So, I guess Eric is more of an asshole than a sadistic sociopath," says Six, "But you shouldn't feel bad. I've been here for over a year and thought I knew every secret of this place. This is the first I've heard of any ledge." She places her hand on mine and gives me a warm smile. I try to smile back, but based on the look in her eyes now, I'm doing it wrong. Coraline just punches me in the shoulder.

"Hey, this just means you have to do a really good job seducing him." I can't help but laugh at her; a real laugh. Everyone else joins in and I feel a little better.

"You know, things are a little tense here, let's go to The Club," Uriah says with a smile.

"The Club?" Alex asks, "What's that."

"It's this thing called a 'Night Club,'" Marlene says, "It has music, dancing, and a bar. It was just opened a few days ago, but it's already one of the Dauntless hot spots." The thought of being in a place with music and a bar is enticing; I'd always loved music. Using our ancestor's classifications: punk, rock, R&B, metal, hip hop, just about anything but the folksy acoustic stuff the amity listen to.

"Let's go to the club!" Coraline shouts.

"Girls, grab your clothes. We're all getting ready at my place!" And there's that Christina-enthusiasm that's been growing on me. We all finish our food, then break off to get our things. Christina tells us where her apartment is and says to go there with a couple outfits in hand within ten minutes.

Christina is a miracle worker. I look amazing; I look…fierce. My hair is up in a ponytail with a couple strands framing my face. She lent me a pair of metallic, spiky studs to wear in my ears. My eyes are brought out by the green and gold eye shadow making them look animalistic. The matching lipstick makes my lips look fuller than they really are. Even the clothes she picked out of my collection are fabulous. She grabbed a crop top with a mandarin collar that zips at the front, which Coraline keeps trying to pull down lower. She matched it a pair of tight shorts that barely cover everything and a pair of black ankle strap heels.

"Thank you." Is all I can manage while staring at myself in amazement.

"Hey, where's my thanks," Coraline says while punching my arm, "I did help, you know."

"Once you're in Dauntless, you're definitely hired at my shop," Christina says.

"I have to make it through now, I've already got a job lined up," Coraline says, laughing.

"Let's go meet the guys now," Shauna says, "I think we made them wait long enough."

We all head out and walk along the pit until we reach what looks like a small cavern. As we approach it, I can hear the bass, with the rest of the music growing louder as we near it. It has a pair of glass double doors in front of it with The Club written on the front and a large Dauntless man standing in front of them letting people in. I can see lights flashing and people dancing inside and I want nothing more than to run in.

The man nods at us and opens the doors. All the girls strut in; I even find myself doing the same thing, that's the kind of atmosphere this place has. Once we're inside, the guys wave us over to a table with seating carved out of the wall itself. They're all in collared shirts, black pants, and they've each done their hair, most settling on lightly gelling it and spiking up the front. I sit and finally look around at let the music fill me.

The acoustics here are brilliant because of the way the stone has been carved. The lights just make it all the better and I don't know how they vent the place, but despite being densely packed, it's almost cool inside. There's a bar along the wall with three bartenders running around making drinks. At the back, I see the source of the music: a woman with "boxed" hair dyed different colors moving her hands along a machine with a bunch of buttons and switches and a pair of metal discs at each end. This is a "DJ" then; I'd only ever seen them in music videos. I follow her hands and notice that her movements each correspond to a different sound. She's literally mixing the music. I continue to stare when Coraline grabs my hand.

"Come on! Let's dance!" Everyone gets up. Six even manages to pull a very reluctant Four to his feet. We all start to move to the music when I notice Shauna staring at me. Am I doing something wrong?

"Where'd you learn to dance like that? It's really good!" I'm glad hours of dancing in my room to old music videos haven't been for nothing.

"I was dancing instead of studying while in Erudite," I say smiling.

"I would say you would've fit right in in Amity, but no one there moves like that," Coraline says. I guess not, from what I've seen Amitys usually have a flow-y, rhythmic, arm-waving style of dance. What I'm doing is sharper, faster, and has a pop to it. Sure, there's occasionally some flow to the hips, but this is far from Amity.

As I'm dancing, I decide I'm just too curious about the DJ to stay on the dance floor, so I shout where I'm going and try to make my way through the crowd to the raised platform where she is. It takes forever and a couple ass-grabs by guys I can't see before I finally reach her.

"Hey!" No answer. That's when I notice the headphones. She can't hear me.

"Hey!" I try shouting even louder and this time I guess she notices.

"What's up?" She doesn't look up from what she's doing while she talks to me.

"I just think what you're doing is really cool. I've never gotten to see a sound board before. And the closest I ever got to mixed music was the stuff I was able to program on the computer."

"You mixed music on the computer using programs?" She finally looks up.

"Um, yes. It's not as good as this, but I always liked music…" I'm kinda blushing now. She just smiles over at me.

"Cool. I got started in a similar manner. I was born in Dauntless but I had an Erudite-like knack for computers. I used it to make this. It's based on old DJ equipment, but I updated a lot of it." I notice that most of the colors in her hair a blue or a derivative of blue; I wonder if her test said Erudite, but she decided to stay anyway.

"Awesome! It looks great."

"Here, I'll show you how it works." And she pulls me up and starts showing me what each thing does. I take in all her words.

"I'm Becca, by the way."

"Audrey." I say, smiling.

"Well, Audrey, want to try mixing?" She says with a mischievous smile.

"Is that really ok?" I think she can see the excitement in my eyes, because she just laughs and nods her assent. I put on the headphones and start adjusting the music. Changes in tone, bass drops, everything feels so natural and easy with a mixer.

"You're doing great!" She says with enthusiasm.

"Thanks." I say, handing her back the headphones.

"You look young. Initiate?" I just nod. Is there something wrong with that?

"Great. If you make it through and need a job, I'd gladly give you one here." Nothing can hold me back now.

"That is the greatest thing I've ever heard! But I'm going to go back to my friends for now. They're probably wondering if I made it here ok."

"Sure thing. See you around, Audrey." She waves to me as I find my way through the sea of people.

"Was that you we saw up there?" Alex asks.

"Yeah, that was," I say smiling, "I think I found my calling."

"You'll like working with Becca," Marlene says, "She was in our year. Really sweet with a nasty right hook." I laugh and start dancing again when I glance over at the bar and there's Eric talking with some blond. I can't look away; how could he do this?

"Guess he's on the hunt," Lynn says with disgust on her face. I'm not going to stand by and watch. I go over to where they are, push the blond away, and drag Eric by his collar to the dance floor.

"What do you think you're—"

"Just shut up and dance with me," I say as I get closer. I just place his hands on my waist and move with the rhythm. He looks mad at first, then like he's contemplating, and finally he starts to move with me.

"Surprised you want to dance with a sociopath." That stops me for a second.

"I'm sorry, okay. Your reputation isn't exactly the most reassuring." I know it's not much of an apology, but I feel it's about as much as he deserves. "Who was the blond?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Because I do!" He's starting to make me mad again. He's the one who started all this, anyway. Why did I choose this guy?

"Didn't catch her name. Didn't see anything happening with her either. Contrary to popular belief, I don't sleep with everything that moves." I'm blushing. I was assuming again. But he could just be lying.

"Why don't you like her? She seemed pretty enough." I'm still supposed to be mad.

"I'm not feeling blondes at the moment. I think red is more my style now." And he twists his fingers into my ponytail. So, in the span of two minutes, we went from fighting to flirting; how this will work, I don't know.

"Guess she's just out of luck then." I spin out of his grip and walk away; I need space to think.

"I caught your guys' little mating dance," Caroline says smirking, "I take it everything is fixed now."

"I guess. I don't know if it was working to begin with…"

"Good thing you came from Erudite then. Those guys have a knack for fixing things." I smile at her and we stay at the club for a while longer before leaving. Fighting continues tomorrow and we'll need to be well rested if we want to do well.

**A/N: Alright, didn't have to go out of town. Hopefully I won't have to Tuesday or Wednesday, either.**


	14. Chapter 13

This time, the board isn't covered by anyone when we enter. The names are all there for everyone to see. Eric is standing towards the back; he doesn't look at me today. Did something change again?

"Same rules as yesterday," Four says, "First fighters, to the ring." Jared and Darren are the openers. Darren goes in and looks ready to kill. I'm not surprised, Ashley's got stitches above her eyebrow and I saw her stomach when she changed; it was almost all bruise.

Right when it starts, Darren throws a punch and, with his reach, it hits Jared right in the nose. Darren doesn't give him a moment to recover, he just keeps hitting him. After a while, Jared falls to the ground and Darren hits him until he stops moving.

"We are not finished! Wake up! Wake the fuck up!" Darren's shaking him and Four has to pry him off. Six drags Jared's body out of the ring; he's bleeding so much I can't see his face. I'm glad he finally got what he deserved.

"Four, can you carry him over to the infirmary? This is a little too much blood." So, there's a hospital here. Not surprising, given how often people get injured here. Four and Six even had a first aid kit that they were using on most of us yesterday. Four walks over and throws Jared over his shoulder like a potato sack and walks out the door. Elizabeth doesn't even look the least bit concerned by all that's happened; sometimes, I think she's worse than he is.

"Next fighters, in," Six says. My eyes are back to the ring again where Ashley and Kayla will be fighting. This one goes by quickly; Ashley is still just too injured to resist much, so Kayla just mouths "I'm sorry" as she punches Ashley in the face, ending it. It seems Ashley's stitches reopened, because blood starts to ooze down her face. Six takes care of it quickly while Kayla holds Ashley's hand.

Next up are Coraline and Sam. He's stronger than she is, but her speed lets her evade most of his hits. It isn't until he fakes a punch and trips her instead that he truly gains the upper hand. She may be the most muscular of all us girls, but she still is no match for Sam who's easily a head taller than she is. He chokes her and she's out in seconds. He carries her off, avoiding putting weight on his right leg. She threw so many low kicks to it, I'm surprised it hasn't given out yet. But I don't have time to check on her. I fight next.

I get up; it's me against Jeremy now. His stance is almost perfect, he's shown that he's proficient in taking control, and his fighting style is hard to predict. For someone from Candor, his body language isn't very honest. Today will definitely not be as easy as yesterday.

As I enter the ring, I look at Eric one more time and he still won't meet my gaze. But I don't have time to ask myself why, Jeremy is already coming at me. I move out of the way, but his punch just grazes my cheek. That was too close; I have to focus. I need to get close to him; with his reach, he has the advantage when we're further away. He punches again and I dodge forward to his center. I grab a hold of him and I throw a knee to his stomach. Based on how hard his stomach is, he flexed to absorb the hit; I'm proven correct when he's able to throw an uppercut to my gut. I wasn't as prepared as he was to be hit, so I wheeze and try to back away. He follows and throws a front kick. I catch it and slam my elbow down onto his shin; I don't break it, but based on the way he winced it hurt enough to get him to back off. I get back in a fighting stance and fake a right straight to a left kick. It seems he saw through it, because he catches my kick and does exactly what I did to him. There's a searing pain in my shin; not broken, just really painful. I pull it back, but I can barely stand on it; this isn't good. He rushes in and punches, but at the last second kicks instead. I catch it full in the ribs and I'm bent over. He pulls my face into his knee and I drop. Then, he kicks my head and everything goes black.

It's dark and I'm floating. I don't know how, but I am. It's also warm and smells like…cinnamon, I think. I'm not sure where I am, but it's nice. I've always loved the smell of cinnamon. I turn my face further into where the smells coming from.

"Awake yet?"

Is that Eric's voice? I open my eyes to see that, yes, I'm currently burying my face in his chest. My fingers are even clutching at his shirt, as if I'm trying to steal it for the smell. I look up and he smirks down at me.

"Enjoy your rest?" So, he doesn't look at me while training, but he's a talker now.

"Why are you carrying me?"

"Want me to put you down?" I think for a second.

"No. I'm actually enjoying myself here." And I smile. I feel stupid for it, but there's something about him that makes it hard for me to stay mad. "But you still haven't said why you're carrying me. Or where, for that matter."

"When your fight was over, you weren't waking up," he says, "Four and Six got worried, so I said I'd take you to the infirmary to get them to shut up." Alright, not quite the knight in shining armor I was expecting. But he is the one taking me.

"You volunteered?"

"Don't look so surprised." Well, I'm more flattered than surprised.

"Well, thank you. Still think I need to go?"

"If it was my choice, you'd still be in there, unconscious or not. But you're still going just so they'll get off my back." Again, can't he just go with a mood?

"Why didn't you look at me at all?" I don't know why I'm asking this, but I need to know.

"You're the one who left me at the club." Dammit.

"I did, but that didn't mean I want you to ignore me or that I was trying to ignore you. I just needed to think…"

"About what?"

"About this…thing. Whatever we are." Why do I want to have this conversation now?

"You're pretty forgetful for a smartass. You're in Dauntless; if you need to think things through, see if Erudite will take you back. Because here in Dauntless, we don't think, we do. And if you want to know what something is, it's whatever you decide it is." He's leaning in now, so close I can feel his breath on my mouth…

"We're here." He dumps me on a bed and I look around. It's a well lit room and Jared is bandaged up on the bed across from me.

"Another one?" Marlene asks. I didn't know she worked here.

"Yeah, she wasn't getting up earlier, but she's up now. Just patch her up." I'm glaring at him while he stares at me smirking. I guess that was his revenge for yesterday.

"Bye, initiate," he says with a laugh as he walks out. I just continue to stare.

"I'm just not going to ask," Marlene says as she starts applying an antiseptic to the cut on my lip. I don't even know what I'd tell her if she did. Instead I just focus on what she's doing. She gets out what looks like a bandage, but when she puts it on my stomach, it's cold. I sigh, it feels so good. She's just finishing putting another smaller one on my head when Coraline and Alex rush in.

"How're you doing? Also, Jeremy says he's sorry," Alex says sitting at the foot of my bed.

"I'm fine. And I'll let him know he doesn't have to be sorry; he was good." And it's true. I can't be mad at him for doing what he's supposed to do. "How'd you do?"

"Beat Elizabeth. For someone who loves their own face so much, she never protects it."

"So, what progress has Audric made?" Coraline should be in Candor, she's so blunt.

"Well, he carried me over, not out of the goodness of his heart, but because Four and Six were worried, he thought that I started ignoring him yesterday which is why he was ignoring me today, oh, and he acted like he was going to kiss me before dumping me here." I don't know why, but I just need someone to talk to about this.

"You guys had a chance to kiss! Why'd he have to kill it?!" At least someone agrees with me.

"I don't know, but I guess I'm back to being the toy again."

"Well, then we just have to make you into a sexy seductress again." I can't help but laugh at the idea.

"As much as I love talking about 'Audric' and what a sexy seductress Audrey is, think we can get food yet?"

"Do you ever stop eating?" Coraline asks Alex as she punches him on the arm.

"Hey, I'm a guy. We have a secret handbook that says we have to ask for food three times a day at a minimum. Think you can leave, Audrey?"

"I don't know. Hey, Marlene, can I leave?"

"Sure thing," Marlene says with a smile, "See you three at the Dining Hall."

As we leave, I think back to Eric's words. If we're whatever I say we are, then I know what I want us to be; I want us to be, well, an us. But something in me asks if he would want the same thing.


	15. Chapter 14

"So, what did you guys think of the field trip yesterday?" Coraline asks as we get ready for another day of fighting, "Personally, it was nice to go out for once. And we just spent the day at the firing range instead of fighting."

"That the fence is boring and I never want to be stuck there," Alex says, "I don't know how anyone can stand it. Hours of watching a fence for, guess what? Nothing! Lots of nothing. I don't even see why we need one." He's right. Plus, it's always bothered me how it locks on the outside; if it's meant to keep something out, that defeats the purpose. Just what is it really for?

"As someone who once lived out there, I agree," Coraline says, "I'm never going back. But it was nice to see my parents, even if I couldn't say 'Hi.' And Audrey, you're being extra quiet. Sad that Eric didn't chaperone us?"

"No," I respond turning red, "I'm just tired." But why didn't he come yesterday? I could see him missing the field trip, but to have him not even show up at the firing range is weird. But I can't take everything as a sign. He's a Dauntless leader, he was probably busy.

"Right, tired," she says smirking, "Well, I know you'll be less tired when we get to the training room, especially when he sees the naval piercing."

"Why's he going to see it?"

"Well, he almost kissed you when he was carrying you. Maybe you guys will almost do something else…" I try to punch her arm, but she moves out of the way, laughing. Before I know it, I'm running down the hall chasing her. We burst into the training room and immediately quiet down when we get in. Four and Six may be really nice, but they can give a stern look when they want to. I also notice Eric leaning against the wall like he usually is. He sees me and smirks. I guess things really are back to normal.

The look to the board and see that the last fight is Jeremy and Darren; I guess they're saving the best for last. Both have proven themselves to be great fighters, that is the match I look forward to. But first, it's Ashley and Elizabeth. Neither have won a fight yet and time is running out. They each walk in, neither looking to mess around. For once, Elizabeth isn't looking over to Four; I guess she realized if she ever wants to see him again, she has to find a way to stay. Elizabeth throws the opening punch, but Ashley's is the one that makes contact. It hits Elizabeth right in the mouth, splitting her lip. Ashley goes to punch her again, but Elizabeth spits blood in her eyes, blinding her; I glare, because it's low, but it's technically not illegal. Ashley's hands immediately go to her eyes and Ashley kicks her in the stomach. Ashley stumbles back a bit, but I think she can see again, because she throws another good punch at Elizabeth's mouth. She grabs hold of Elizabeth's hair and slams her elbow into Elizabeth's face. Elizabeth goes down and stops moving; I guess Ashley didn't dangle over the Chasm for nothing.

Six helps Ashley move Elizabeth out of the ring and next up are Coraline and Alex. Each has one win and one loss, but Alex, being larger, should have the advantage. However, it's obvious that he holds back through the fight. He pulls back his punches and simply drops to the ground after she hits his face with a single solid punch. He lies on the ground, but it's obvious by his breathing that he's not really knocked out. Coraline drags him to the side then nudges him with her foot until he "wakes up."

"Woah, what happened? You just hit me and I went out like that!" It's obvious he's trying to look dazed, but he's a really terrible actor.

"I know you faked it," Coraline says while glaring, "You don't have to hold back against me because I'm a girl."

"I'm not faking and even if I was, it's not because you're a girl."

"Then why didn't you fight back!" Coraline's face is slowly turning red form anger; this won't end well.

"Because I can't hit you!"

"Why not?" Does she seriously not see him looking all sheepish, turning red and staring at the ground? These two are dense.

"Because I just can't," Alex mumbles, still looking at the ground. Coraline just crosses her arms and pouts, but her ears start to turn red. Maybe she is starting to notice. The sound of the newest fight interrupt the moment.

When I look over, Sam is in Jared's guard, trying to get out. Jared didn't bother to pick his hips up off the ground and his laziness is working to Sam's advantage; Sam is able to pass Jared's guard and hold him down from the side. He gets his knee on Jared and slides it over so he's mounted him. Jared punches Sam in the stomach, but Sam grabs onto his arm and pulls it by Jared's head. This moves Jared's shoulder up enough for him to switch from mount to having his back. He chokes Jared and the fight ends. I make a mental note never to fight with Sam on the ground; I don't know where he learned to move like that, but it's obvious he does it well.

I move from where I stand over to the ring. Kayla enters, too and I think of all the things I know about her fighting style. She prefers punches over kicks, she isn't very good on the ground, she is probably the fastest person here, and she tends to ever so slightly wind her punches; being an Erudite is really coming in handy. I take the opportunity to strike first, leading with a right roundhouse. If I use kicks, she shouldn't be able to get in close enough to strike. She backs up to move out of the way and rushes forward. I set down the foot I just kicked with and continue to pivot on it in that direction, so I hit her in the ribs with a side thrust kick; her momentum colliding with mine causes her to be knocked backward, but she still lands on her feet. She rushes in again, so I try to throw another kick at her, but this time she moves dodges out of the way and hits me in the jaw with her fist. I stumble backwards. She's too close for me to actually kick anymore. She pulls back her right fist slightly, telling me that's the next one to come. As she punches, I move to the side and bring my arm up, hitting her under her chin while moving my left leg so it's against her right one. She falls over my leg onto the ground; now I just have to keep her down here. I bring my knee down, trying to land it on her stomach, but she rolls out of the way and onto her feet. She tackles me, but I successfully get my legs around her. She tries to grab for my throat, so I grab onto her arms and decide to do something I've only ever read about. I shove one of her arms up to her chest while I move my legs up so one is right next to her neck. I lock my legs and turn to the side then squeeze my legs. After a while, she stops struggling; my triangle choke worked.

"Where'd you learn that?" Eric asks me as I move Kayla off the mat.

"In a book," I say, smiling.

"You're almost too smart for Dauntless," he says, "And I think you have something to show me." He places his hand right on my stomach. I pause.

"You noticed?"

"Your shirt went up. I like it." He smirks down at me and I smile back, sliding my hand down his muscular arm until it's resting on his.

"Well, I'm just full of surprises. Anyway, show and tell is over." And I move his hand off of my stomach.

"See you tonight," he says with a smirk. Tonight? What is he talking about, tonight?

"What?"

"Nothing, just act like I didn't say anything," He says as he smirks and walks away.

I walk back over to Coraline and Alex and get ready for what is essentially the championship fight of the day. Jeremy and Darren walk into the ring and give each other a quick nod and smile. They know exactly what this is about. They both assume a fighting stance and then slowly start to circle each other, like lions getting ready to pounce. Out of nowhere, Darren throws the first punch. Jeremy moves out of the way and strikes back with a kick. Darren blocks the kick and moves behind him; he tries to choke him, but Jeremy uses his arms to keep Darren's off his throat. He moves his right arms up Darren's and twist his body; Darren goes flying over his shoulder. As soon as Darren lands, he uses his legs to sweep Jeremy's and they're both on the ground. Darren moves over to where Jeremy is, but Jeremy gets his legs around Darren's waist. Darren leans back and grounds his weight. Darren breaks Jeremy's guard, but suddenly Jeremy pulls him into a triangle; he learns fast, I guess. Darren stands and pushes down on Jeremy while punching just above the back of his waist; he's hitting the kidneys. But Jeremy still doesn't open the choke and Darren's punches start to slow until he finally falls. Everyone gives Jeremy a cheer as he stands; he's our current champion and even if we're all competing, he deserves to have a moment. He raises his arms and just smiles.

"And the reigning Transfer Champion is, Jeremy!" Six shouts with a laugh.

"Alright, everyone, take the rest of the day off," Four says with one of his rare smiles, "And Jeremy, nice one."

On our way out, Coraline nudges me.

"Update, go." I almost feel like she's more interested in my love life than I am.

"He saw the piercing while I was fighting and he mentioned something about seeing me tonight, but told me to forget about it…"

"Oh my gosh! Tell me how you feel when he makes you into a woman!" I start blushing a bright red.

"I highly doubt that's it! And let's go to the Dining Hall."

"Don't change the subject! I bet that's totally what it is! He just can't resist those milk jugs." She squeezes my boobs with a laugh. I shriek, which just makes her laugh harder.

"That's not what it is! Plus, he told me to forget about it, anyway…"

"Hey, be fierce. You give off a much sexier aura when you're confidant," she says smirking.

"Again, as much as I love the talk of Audrey's sexiness, how about we switch back to the Dining Hall," says Alex.

"Fine, ruiner of fun," Coraline says shoving him a bit.

We grab food from the Dining Hall and sit with everyone. It's just a typical day, Christina squealing about the latest "Audric" news as delivered by Coraline, Zeke and Uriah messing around, two hall wide food fights, and Four and Six holding hands under the table. Afterwards, we hang around the Pit. I stop by the club and mix with Becca for a bit; apparently I'm improving. Once I finally get back to the dorms, I'm so tired I fall immediately to sleep. I don't know how long I'm asleep when I'm awoken by banging. I snap up to see a bunch of Dauntless running around with flashlights and hitting everything they can.

"Everybody up!" What the hell is Eric doing? I look in the direction his voice came from and see him grinning in the doorway with Four and Six behind him. "We're going on another field trip! You all have five minutes to be outside and ready!" So this is what he meant earlier.


	16. Chapter 15

Coraline just groans in the bed next to mine and rolls over in bed. Does she really think they'll just leave her? Answering my question, one of the Dauntless, Uriah apparently, runs by and grabs her blanket.

"Come on, you can sleep later!" Based on how thrilled he is, this can't be something bad.

Most everyone is up and moving now. We all start running outside. I see that we're just behind the Dauntless-born initiates. I a bunch of guns and ammunition labeled "PAINTBALLS." So, we're going paintballing. Apparently, it was a very popular pastime for our ancestors. I'm not surprised that the Dauntless decided to keep doing it.

"Everybody grab a gun!" Eric shouts and all of us run to the pile. I grab a gun and a box of paintballs. I store the box in one of the many pockets in my jacket and sling the gun across my back.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.

"Any minute now. And it's already been three years; you still haven't memorized the schedule?"

"As long as you're around, I still don't need to," Eric says, giving Four a shove. I still can't see how they're not friends. In the distance, I see a circle of light that can only be the train. Everyone starts running and jumping on. I run and grab the railing, just to have Eric grab me and pull me on the train and into his chest.

"Told you I'd see you tonight," he says into my ear. I know he's smirking.

"Couldn't think of anything better for us to do?" I turn my head, so I'm facing his. I look right into his gray eyes.

"I could think of plenty of better things. Just none for any other initiates," he says, coming closer.

"Everyone's here now," I say spinning out of his arms. This is what he gets for teasing me in the infirmary.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag," Six says, "Teams will be an even mix of Dauntless, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same. "

"This is a Dauntless tradition," Four says, "I suggest you take it seriously."

"What's the prize for winning?" Jared asks.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," Four says, staring him down, "You get to win."

"Four and I will be the team captains," Eric says, "We already split up the Dauntless. Let's divide the transfers."

"You first."

"Audrey." I can't help but feel happy, even though Six looks over like someone stole her favorite item. I go over to Eric's side where Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn are waiting for me.

"Coraline." I wonder what strategy they're using. They now have Four, Six, Christina, Will, and now Coraline.

"Sam." Four looks at Eric, surprised. I guess that wasn't who he was expecting.

"So you finally learned?" Six asks with raised eyebrows.

"Just pick someone, Stiff," Eric says. I wonder what she's talking about.

"Kayla."

"Jeremy."

"Ashley."

"Alex." Coraline is pouting now. I guess she was hoping to be with him.

"Darren." Jared and Elizabeth are the only ones left now.

"Jared." Dammit, I don't know if I would have been more upset by Elizabeth. Either option is terrible.

"…Elizabeth." She claps her hands and rushes right next to Four. I won't be surprised if Six's gun accidentally goes off. They move onto the Dauntless-born and I stop paying attention.

By the time everyone is split up, I think I've found out Eric's strategy. Everyone he picked is one of the best shooters in our class, whereas those that Four picked are those who are fast. I guess we'll have to see who wins; aim or evasion.

"We'll be getting off first," Eric says.

"Sure. And don't give us any extra help," Four says, "I think I've already proved we don't need it to win." Here they go.

"I know I don't need to do anything for you to lose," Eric says, "Let's move!" And we all start to jump off of the train. We head over to a bunch of buildings that have long since been abandoned.

"So, what's the plan?" Asks one of the Dauntless.

"The plan is whatever you guys decide it is, Greg," says Uriah. At that everyone starts to speak up, saying what we should do. I've already come up with my own plan; I'm going to find their flag. I look around and find a tall building and start heading up the stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Up." I say to Eric with a smirk as I continue up the steps. He simply follows. Once we're at the top, I climb out a window and go on the roof. I can see a cluster of people at Navy Pier and a pink glow in the top car of the Ferris Wheel.

"It's in the Ferris Wheel," I say, pointing to their spot, "Think we can climb up it?"

"We won't have to climb," says Eric with a smirk, "I saw it move last year; we can make it move again. Come on, let's go win." I was hoping for a little more romance, but he looks determined. I guess he just really wants to win against Four. We head down the steps and I start thinking. We're going to need some way to keep the other team busy. They're all faster, which means they're probably going to reach our flag first…but what if there's more than one. I reach into my pockets and thank myself for throwing on the same pair of clothing; I still have glow sticks from the club and I know exactly what we're going to do.

"Where'd you two go?" Uriah says smirking.

"Flag hunting. Anyway, here's our plan," I say as I pull out the glow sticks, "We're going to use these to make some fake flags. Anyone with clothing they don't need, take one of these, cut it open, and smear it on the cloth. It should look exactly like a flag from afar. Store it somewhere in plain sight in a high position where you can't be seen. We're all good shots, so I'm going to count on our ability to act as snipers. While you guys keep most of the team busy, we're going to have a small group sneak over to the Ferris Wheel and find the controls to bring the car down."

"Damn," Lynn says, "You were Erudite."

"Audrey, Jeremy, and I will be the controls team," Eric says, "Everyone else, break off into two-man minimum teams. Alex, Darren, Uriah, you three will be the team with the real flag." Everyone starts grabbing glow sticks and cutting them open while Alex and Darren head up the building we just came out of.

"Let's get going," Eric says, "You know, a lot of guys find intelligence sexy." He smirks over at me as we move.

"Guess I'll have to find one of them, then," I say returning the smirk.

"Flirt later, we're getting close," Jeremy says. I'm surprised he's this competitive. I'm also surprised Eric doesn't say anything.

We end up taking a curving path, slowly getting closer to the Ferris Wheel. We're sneaking behind some abandoned booths when I hear fire coming from the buildings we'd left behind.

"I got it!" I hear someone shout, before swearing instead. "Dammit, it's a fake!" I smile, knowing my plan worked. As we get closer, I see that Six is the one sitting in the car. Below, Coraline, two Dauntless, and Four are standing around the Ferris Wheel watching.

"I'll make a distraction, you guys operate the wheel," Jeremy whispers. We nod. "On three; one, two, three." And he's running and opening fire while Eric and I dash to the control panel. He hits the two Dauntless in the chest, but he has to take cover as Four and Coraline open fire with Six providing support from above. Four notices us, because he begins to fire in our direction.

"Just get it working!" Eric shouts as he fires back. I look at the panel, I have no idea what any of these things mean, but I think the large red button must do something. I hit it and the wheel starts to move. Four dives out of the way of a car, giving Eric the opportunity to shoot him. He hits him three times in the chest, shouting "Just to be safe!" over to Four. Once the car is near the bottom, I hit the button again and it slows to a halt. Coraline hides by the cart and shoots in our direction, but Jeremy rolls out of his hiding spot and gets her in the back; I guess we distracted her enough that she forgot about him. Now, Jeremy and I are running to the car and shooting at it, swerving with our steps, so that Six can't get a clear shot. But Jeremy has longer legs which get him to the car first. He kicks the door in and grabs the flag.

"Congratulations," says a paint covered Six. I think we might have overdone it on the shooting.

"My win," says Eric, smirking at Four.

"No, her win. There's no way you came up with this."

"Same difference," Eric says with a laugh. By now, most everyone is assembled, so we start to head back to the trains. I try to go over to where Eric is, but someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Hey, Audrey, right?" A tall Dauntless girl asks me. "Great job. I don't think any of us would have thought of making decoys. Oh, and I'm Xandra."

"Thanks," I say with a bit of a blush.

"You were first jumper, too," says a guy, "I remember the hair. Parker's the name." He extends his hand. I shake it, glad to be meeting some other initiates.

"Any changes in Audric I should know of?" Coraline moves from her spot behind me to the center of our group. "Coraline, by the way."

"Xandra and Parker," Xandra says, "And what's 'Audric?'"

"Oh, let me show you into the wonderful story of 'Audric,'" Coraline says, "It all started about a week ago…" And I stop listening as she tells the story. I guess our circle just expanded.


	17. Chapter 16

"You know, you two should have made more progress," Coraline says on the way to the training room, "Like kissing or something."

"I really am your favorite pastime," I say, "And I don't know. I feel like if we do, everything will be…different. The chase is over and I'm not interesting anymore…" I can't pick my eyes off the ground. I never feel like this when he's in the room. But when he's gone, I can't help but ask myself 'What if he doesn't come back?'

"Look at yourself, you have sexy red hair, emerald eyes, boobs that could feed the factionless, and you're probably the smartest person currently in Dauntless. You can't be anything but interesting." She smiles at me as we walk in, only to find targets like the ones we usually shoot and a table full of knives. Eric stands in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. I forget my worries and can only think of how good he looks like that.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," Eric says, "You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone, pick up three knives." He's smiling while he's talking. I guess he's still riding the high from yesterday's win. This is the nicest he's treated us, collectively.

I pick up three and feel one in my hand. I try to get to know the hold and the balance. I toss it a few times, trying to get it to spin; getting it to spin will be essential if I want it to stick. Aim is going to be a little trickier than with a gun. I have to account for gravity this time, which means an arc. The knife weighs maybe 200g. I'll need to aim well, because the knife is going to wobble in the air.

"Pay attention, I'm going to demonstrate the proper knife throwing technique," Six says, "Four why don't you help me out? Stand in front of the target, please." Four sighs and moves in front of the target as Eric chuckles. Just what is she going to do?

Six lines up in front of the target and throws the first knife. It lands half a foot from his cheek. Everyone is holding their breath at this point. But I try to just watch her; she wouldn't do this if she didn't know what she was doing. She throws the second; it lands right above Four's head. She gets the third and throws; it hits right next to his left ear. She may have even gotten the skin, based on the way his fingers brush against his ear.

"We're officially even," Six says as she kisses his ear.

"Ugh, how can you even do that when you were trying to kill him," Elizabeth says, she looks like she's going to cry.

"If you had tried that, you would have been trying to kill him," Eric says, "She actually knows what she's doing." Four and Six look at Eric, surprised. I guess they never expected him to do that.

"Everyone, line up at a target and start practicing," Four says, "Word of advice: don't rush."

I copy the stance Six used: left foot forward, body lined up at the target. I practice the arm movement a few times before attempting to throw the knife. It's on the low side; I underestimated the drop. I try a few more times, getting closer to the center when I feel someone put their hand on my waist.

"Looks like you don't need my help this time." I smile.

"I guess I'm just amazing and perfect." Forget any worries. When he holds me like this, I feel like the only girl in the world.

"I don't think that last throw is perfect." He's talking right into my ear now.

"Then move back, so I can throw the next one." I pull back and throw; center this time. "See, perfect."

"You are." I blush and he's walking away. Damn this guy, but I love it so much. I see who he's walking over to and it's Sam. He hasn't had one stick in the target yet. He throws his last knife with Eric standing right behind him; it hits the target in the center, but doesn't stay.

"Pick them up," Eric says. Jeremy and Darren stop throwing next to Sam.

"Everyone keep throwing. Now, pick them up." Where is this going.

"No." Sam looks at Eric like he's insane.

"You scared?"

"Does not wanting to have a knife stick in the back of my skull count as scared?"

"Any other day, you'd be standing in front of that target as I throw knives at you. But I'm going to give you a chance. If you can throw a knife to the center of the target, you don't have to get them. If you hit anywhere else, you're my target. Now take this and throw." He presents him a knife and everyone is watching. Four and Six look over, both equally surprised. I guess Eric just did something very surprising. We all watch Alex; he needs to hit the target this time. He pulls it back and I see his hand is shaking. He takes a deep breath and it gets slightly better. He throws with more force than last time. It's spinning perfectly through the air. And it sticks in the center.

"Good job," Eric says, "You're all dismissed."

Coraline, Alex, and I head over to the Dining Hall. We go over to the table and sit. Immediately, Christina turns to me.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That Eric didn't order someone to have knives thrown at them."

"He didn't. He said that he wouldn't if Sam could hit the target."

"My friends, you have just witnessed a miracle," Uriah says, "Eric resisted the urge to torture an initiate! There is a God!"

"Why, does he do that a lot?"

"It was me last year," Six says, "I took the place of someone else while Four threw knives at me." Is that why she said they were even?

"You know, I feel like you're really good for him," says Will, "You make him less evil and more just kind of a jerk."

"Um…your welcome?"

"I actually do want to thank you," Four says, "He's finally leaving me alone."

"And you were worried," Coraline says, nudging me. I just blush. Did I really make a difference? "Now, Christina, listen to the latest update on 'Audric.'" She describes our exchange in the training room.

"And you two still haven't done anything?" Christina asks, smiling.

"No, we really haven't!" How much redder can I get?

"Right," she says, "Well, you two should just make it official. I'm sure you're dying to know if he has any other piercings…" Oh, not this again.

"Guess I'll just have to find them on my own time." Christina just laughs.

"By the way, Visiting Day is in two days and I reserve the right to transform you two," she says, "Might as well make a big impression on your parents, right?" Coraline and I are the ones laughing now as we agree. I can't even fathom how much I've changed, physically and mentally. I just hope my mother is in for a surprise.


	18. Chapter 17

"Last day of fighting," Coraline says with a smile as we head over to the training room.

"It's surprising, but I really don't think I'll miss the sensation of being punched in the face," Alex says. I notice that as they walk they tend to gravitate towards each other. Maybe they've finally caught on to each other.

"But punching your face is so fun," Coraline says, playfully swiping at him. There's definitely something going on. As we walk inside, Alex goes over to the guys.

"Care to tell me about Coralex?" I say with a smile.

"It's nothing! Don't call us 'Coralex!'" Coraline says turning red. This is getting better by the second.

"Like hell there's nothing. You guys have been together all the time and are doing cutesy things together."

"Well, he just sees me as a friend…"

"So, follow your advice to me and seduce him," I say with a smirk. She just starts laughing and we finally look to the board. We're both fighting first.

"Guess we'll find out who the alpha is today," I say with a smile.

"I've got about ten pounds on you," Coraline says with a smirk, "Bring it."

We head over to the ring together, splitting off when we reach it, so we enter from different sides.

"I'm going to make you fall on your adorable ass." Sometimes, I think she's really secretly a dirty old man.

"Not if I get to your pretty face first."

I go in to throw the first punch, but she moves out of the way and follows up with a punch of her own. I drop down so it goes over my head and try to punch straight up. She stops my hand with her own and backs off, shaking her palm out; she just laughs and gets back into position. This time, she leads with a kick. I back away, but she plants her foot, pivots, and throws a backhand. I block and quickly kick back. The kick lands, but not very hard. We break away again. This time, we charge each other and both land a punch. It's so ridiculous that I want to laugh. I go to knee her, but she stops it and throws me over. And now I'm sitting on my "adorable ass." She goes to kick me, but I grab onto her leg and sweep her feet. We're both on the ground now and she may weigh more, but I have the advantage here. I move over to where she is, but can only gain a firm control of her side. She tries to push away from me, but I just follow her around until I finally succeed in getting a knee on her stomach. I slide it across and take mount. She immediately starts to try to buck me off, and starts punching. She is bigger and we end up rolling over. The first thing she does is go for my throat and I go for hers. We each get a good grip and now, the only thing left is to see who lasts the longest. I feel the edges of my vision start to go blurry, but I don't loosen my grip; one of us will lose and I don't want it to be me. Everything is fading and it goes dark.

When I wake up, Eric is standing over me, pinching my cheeks.

"What're you doing?"

"Seeing what I can do before you wake up," he says with a smirk.

"And what exactly did you do?" I know what I'd want to do…

"Nothing that you're thinking of." That's when I remember what put me to sleep in the first place.

"I lost." I say with a groan. Why couldn't I have lasted a bit longer?

"Not exactly. You both lost." What does that mean?

"Explain." He has my full attention now.

"You both choked out each other. So, you didn't win, but you didn't lose either. A first as far as Dauntless initiation goes."

"Glad I got to do something memorable." I can hear punches and groans. "What's happening over there?"

He moves out of the way. "It's the last of Alex and Ashley. The fights have been very fast. Kayla and Darren already went; no surprise who won there. Jared let Elizabeth win, but that probably won't save her and it doesn't help him. Alex is about to finish this one." He's right. He has Ashley on the ground and gives her a quick kick to the head. Their fight is over.

Next up are Jeremy and Sam. As they head to the ring, Eric pulls me to my feet.

"You'll see better." I'm up and the room wobbles, I fall into him.

"You're very forward today," he says, smiling. So that's what he wanted. He places his arms around me and I place mine over his. Who cares about the fight, I just want to stay like this. But I still watch anyway.

Jeremy goes in first, but Sam moves out of the way. Jeremy catches him with a kick, instead. Sam stumbles; I can see where this fight is going already. Jeremy tries to hit him again, but Sam moves around his punch and throws him; now that Jeremy's on the ground, Sam may yet have a chance. Sam moves in on Jeremy who keeps him away with his legs. Jeremy catches his arm and pulls him in, but Sam uses the momentum to try to take mount. He gets one leg on Jeremy, but Jeremy catches the other one. Sam uses his weight to push Jeremy onto his back while trying to free his leg. Jeremy gets a good grip on his arm again and they role; their positions are reversed, but Jeremy gets his leg out. Once he's on top, Jeremy starts throwing punches at Sam. Sam immediately moves his hands to guard his head. Jeremy uses the opening to choke him. And so, Jeremy remains the reigning champion. Four and Six dismiss us, but Eric and I linger a while longer.

"Better yet?" Eric asks directly into my ear.

"I think so," I say turning so we're facing each other, his hands still on my waist.

"You have a day off tomorrow." He's closer than before. I place my arms around his neck.

"Technically, I have Visitation Day tomorrow." I smile at the thought of seeing my mother.

"What're you so happy about?" He moves in again.

"I get to see my mom." I come in closer now. The distance between our faces is less than an inch. I can feel his warm breath on my mouth.

"Just remember: faction before blood." He tries to leave, the damn tease, but I run after him and tackle him. Not the sexiest thing, but at least if I'm sitting on him, he can't run away. I want answers and I want them now.

"What the hell?" He looks more surprised than angry.

"Why do you keep leaving?"

"You left last time." Dammit, he keeps getting me with this.

"Because you did at the hospital. But really, what's with us always going back and forth?"

"Because it's whatever you make of it." I look down at him and try to read his now blank expression.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You tell me!"

"I asked first!" He sighs; he's losing patience.

"You said it yourself, my reputation isn't the best. I would love to do many things to you, but I'm more concerned about scaring you off." He covers his face with his hands to hide a blush. This whole time, I was scared he was flaky. I move his hands from his face.

"You won't scare me off." Then I lean in so my mouth is hovering just above his; he can take the invitation. Then I feel his mouth on mine, cold metal complimenting the warmth of his kiss.

"See, I'm not dashing away, am I?"

"No, you're not," he says with a smirk and leans up, kissing me again. My hands wander his muscular chest as one of his stays on my hip and the other becomes tangled in my hair. His lips tongue brushes the bottom of my lip and I let him in. He has a tongue piercing; I wonder how I never noticed that. I'm so caught up in trying to keep up with the kiss, I almost don't notice when he rolls me over. My breath catches, I really want to keep going, but this is starting to escalate a little too fast.

"I guess that's enough for now," he says pulling away.

"Sorry." Is all I can manage to mumble, while turning red.

"It's fine. More than fine, that was great." And he pulls me into his arms and kissing my ear. I can't help but smile.

"It's just the whole first boyfriend thing I guess." Wait, shit, why did I say that? I sound inexperienced. He just laughs.

"Well, I love being first." And he kisses me once more on the lips. But his comment makes me think of something: I'll never be first. I guess he notices that I'm frowning again.

"What now?"

"It's embarrassing," I say turning away.

"Just tell me, dammit."

"I'll never be first." I mumble.

"You'll what?"

"I'll never be first!" Dammit, I feel tears coming.

"I'm sorry," he says, brushing the tears off. That was a response I did not expect. "But you've already gotten a first."

"And what would that be?" Where's he going with this?

"You're the first girl I've ever actually loved." I can't believe what I just heard. Hell, I can't believe his blush. I never thought I'd hear something so sappy come from his mouth. But it's so damn sweet, I'm smiling like an idiot.

"I love you, too." And I kiss him back. We eventually stand and start to head out. I entwine my fingers with his.

"So, we're officially an us," I say with a smile.

"Don't get too sappy. But yes."

"And who was the one who admitted their first love?" He starts blushing.

"Tell anyone that and I don't care how I feel, I'll throw you down the chasm."

"Right. And Coraline's going to ask. What do I tell her?" I don't know if others are allowed to know. We may have been flirting openly, but dating is something different.

"Tell her. Hell, tell all the initiates. If they have a problem, they'll deal with me." His grip tightens on my hand. I love this so much.

"Alright, then. Open relationship it is." I kiss him again. I couldn't be happier. I wonder in the back of my mind if my mom will like him.

**A/N: And they're together! And it only took 17 Chapters...**


	19. Chapter 18

I'm collecting stuff to bring over to Christina's apartment for Visitation Day and Coraline is still gushing from yesterday; you'd think she was the one who just got a boyfriend.

"You guys were gone so long, I refuse to believe you two just kissed!" Coraline says. She's been going on about this since ever since I told her in the Dining Hall. "Especially if you were straddling him…"

"I chickened out, ok! Plus, even if we do it, I don't want it to be in the training room!"

"Alright, fine, but I swear you're hiding something." She's technically right. I left out my little insecure moment; it was just a little too embarrassing. Plus, I kinda feel like keeping that moment to myself.

"Okay, enough about my love life. We need to get you and Alex to hook up already." Now she gets to be the red one.

"But he's so dense! I practically have 'Kiss me Alex' written on my forehead, but he never does anything! I swear, I'm not a girl to him!" No, I've been watching. He definitely recognizes that she's a girl; too much so, it seems. He just keeps fumbling.

"How about just kissing him."

"But what if he rejects me!" At least I'm not the only insecure one.

"Then he's stupid and we go to the Club together where we'll easily find at least fifty guys to dote on you." She laughs and suddenly she's smiling again. We're grabbing clothes again when Eric enters the room.

"Attention! I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your family does decide to visit you, it's best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?" So that's what he was talking about yesterday. I never thought about how I was supposed to act when my mom visits. I know she'll be there; Erudite and Dauntless are pretty close, so parents always visit. But I don't really care about attachment. This is my mom. Eric walks over to where I am.

"I assume I'll see you on the Pit floor," he says, kissing me. No one seems shocked. Good. I doubt anyone would say anything, anyway. They're still petrified by him.

"Yes, I'll be there." There's no way I'm missing this.

"Faction before blood." He's being stubborn, I guess.

"Which means I'll do what I want, because that's what Dauntless do," I say, giving him a hard look.

"You're such a smartass," he says, smirking down at me before kissing me once more and leaving. Coraline gives me a look like she's thinking of something dirty.

"Don't even start, just grab your stuff," I say giving her a playful shove.

"Fine," she sighs back to me. Once we have our things, we head over to Christina's apartment.

"Welcome," she says, with a big smile on her face, "Alright, Coraline, help me. Audrey, you're going to look so good, Eric may just kidnap you instead." I laugh through my blushing as she and Coraline start holding up clothes for me.

By the time they're done, I think her prediction may actually be right. I shouldn't even be amazed by the level of skill Christina has, but I look so different; I look pure Dauntless. My top is a black strapless corset crop top that exposes my piercing and part of my tattoo. I'm wearing a tight short skirt with it and black stilettos. My hair's been curled slightly near the bottom, so it bounces slightly as I walk. Christina used the same colors as the shopping trip, so I'm like a fire goddess all over again.

"Alright ladies, let's go represent our faction," Christina says and we're headed out the door to the Pit. As we enter, I immediately start looking for my mother. It doesn't take me long to find her hair; I see it every day. I start running over to her; or at least I'm trying to in these heels.

"Mom!" She turns around and the biggest smile spreads across her face.

"Audrey!" And I'm hugging her. I'm so happy to see her, I bury my face in her hair and she just holds me even tighter.

"You're a Dauntless now," she says with pride in her voice. I look at her and she's just smiling at me with the same warmth in her eyes that I've always loved, "You even have tattoos and piercings. And your outfit makes you look amazing." I will never understand how my mom came to be so accepting.

"Technically, it's only one tattoo."

"But there'll be more," she says with a smirk. My mother, always right. I just smile at her.

"So, how are you, mom?"

"Same old, same old. The hospital hasn't changed at all." I guess she wants to make today about me. She asks me about initiation and how I've been when I see Four and Six with a woman in Abnegation grey and a guy in Erudite blue. I recognize the woman, she's Natalie. It's been a long time since I've thought about what transpired in that room. I can only hope I'm hiding my Divergence well. I think she sees me, because she waves me and my mother over.

"Greetings, Audrey," she says with a bow. Four and Six look stunned.

"You know my mom?" Six asks. I can see the resemblance now that they're next to each other.

"Yes, Tris," Natalie says. So, Six's name is Tris, "I was the one who administered her aptitude test." I introduce my mother to Natalie, Four and Six, and all of them to my mother. Six introduces the guy.

"This is my brother, Caleb," she says.

"Oh I know him," my mother says, "He's one of my nurses at the hospital." Just how closely linked are our families without us knowing it?

"Small world, I guess," Six says, "Also, try not to mention my name to the other initiates." I nod and let her know I won't; she told us "Six" for a reason. They tell my mother I'm doing really well and I get to see her swell with pride. It just makes me even happier. After a while, we split off again and it's the two of us all over again.

"Your trainers seem nice," my mom says, "They're together, yes?"

"Yeah, they're together."

"So, have you found a guy you like?" My mother has a smile even more mischievous than Coralines. I just want to laugh at the look.

"Yeah," I say blushing. Then, like he was summoned, I feel a muscular arm wrap itself around my waist.

"I'm Eric," he says, extending his hand to my mother. She shakes it, looking him over, and then smiles.

"I take it you're the guy," she says, "I'm Audrey's mother. Call me Natasha." She's smiling, which definitely isn't a bad thing.

"Nice to meet you, Natasha. I see where Audrey gets her good looks from." This suck up. But I'm glad he's trying for my mom.

"He's smart," my mom says, smiling at me, "I like him."

"Good," I say, smiling back at her.

"Eric, I believe I've seen you at governing meetings," my mother says, "You're a leader, then?" She's smiling, but her eyes say she's still analyzing him. Well, she is an Erudite; always on a quest for knowledge. Her daughter's boyfriend must be no exception.

"Yes, I am." He says, all confidence.

"Surprisingly young for a leader," my mom responds.

"Age doesn't matter in Dauntless," he responds.

"It doesn't in Erudite, either," she says, "So, how does a leader meet my daughter?"

"I was the one to welcome the initiates to Dauntless and I oversee initiate training." He's behaving himself surprisingly well. Does he actually want her approval?

"So, you're another instructor?"

"Not quite, I just oversee training, so when the leaders make the final decision they're well informed." Is that nervousness? There's no way in hell; he hasn't cared what anyone thought so far.

"Interesting. Well, I'm very happy for you two." The analytical look is gone. I guess she's satisfied with all she's learned.

"Thanks, mom," I say smiling. I'm glad the pressure's over.

"I have to go, leadership stuff," Eric says, giving me a quick kiss. He really is holding back in front of my mother! "Nice meeting you, Natasha." He extends his hand to her one more time.

"The pleasure's all mine, Eric," my mom says shaking his hand.

Once he's gone in the crowd, she turns to me, "I really do like him. Intelligent with a good face. Hair may be a tad long, though, but he's a good choice."

"Well, I'm glad you like him," I say, "I like him, too. But you want to hold back a little next time."

"He's Dauntless, he'll be fine," my mother says with a smile, "Now, are there any friends for me to meet?"

"Yes, there are," I say as I lead her over to where I see Coraline and Alex with a man and woman in Amity colors and two women and young boy in Candor colors; I must say, Alex never mentioned a little brother.

"Audrey! Audrey's mom! Come meet my parents!" Coraline shouts, waving her arms, even though I already see her. I look at her parents and they seem a little lost here, but the look in their eyes says they're very happy to see their daughter. "Audrey and your mom, these are my parents Luke and Vera. Mom and dad, this is Audrey who I was talking about and her mom."

"Nice to meet you," they both say, hugging my mom and I. We just go along with it.

"My name's Natasha, by the way," my mother says.

"Mom, the one who led introductions is Coraline," I say, "And he's Alex."

"Audrey and, um, Natasha, this is my mother Yvette, her partner and my other mom Tiffany, and my little brother Jordan." They shake hands with my mother and me.

"Alex, are they your girlfriends?" Jordan asks. Alex turns red; gotta love that Candor honesty.

"No!"

"Do you like any of them?" I love this kid.

"Jordan, stop asking questions!" Alex dodged that bullet, I guess.

"I like the…free-spiritedness of this place," Vera says. She's really trying; Coraline's parents are so sweet. But it's surprising; if someone ever put them in Dauntless black, their muscular physiques would blend in immediately.

We all talk for a while, but I can't help but notice that Coraline and Alex's parents are avoiding each other. I guess it's hard for them to get over their faction's issues. At least I know my mother is a good arbiter. Eventually, I look up and see the sky's getting dark; it's late. My mother turns to me and smiles.

"It seems it's time for me to go," she says, pulling me into a hug, "I love you." I can feel the words that she can't say: I'll miss you. I squeeze her tight.

"Bye mom," I say, "I love you."

"Your father would be so proud," she says. This sticks out in my head; she almost never mentions him. Not since he died. "Take care, Audrey." And she starts to ascend the walkways out of the Pit.

**A/N: I'm just going to throw this out there right now: if anyone has a problem with Alex's parents, please leave. Don't leave any comments, just leave.**


	20. Chapter 19

"Finally time to go see rankings," Coraline says as we get up from the dinner table. Most of her bubbliness has been deflated for once. Everyone tells us good luck, but none of us are feeling very lucky. These rankings will be determining our start position in the next phase and if we even get to continue into the next phase. We get to the dormitory to find Four, Six, and Eric in the dorm, waiting for everyone with a blackboard facing away from us.

"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," Six says. "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. We don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice." She looks pointedly at Jared. I hope he's at the bottom. "If you have high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent." Jared swears: he must have realized that, given how badly Elizabeth is doing, letting her win against him will only drag him down.

Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice," he says. "That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one. We will announce the cuts tomorrow. The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of them. Or four of them could be factionless and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks." We all move forward to see the board.

1. Jeremy

2. Darren

3. Sam

4. Audrey

5. Coraline

6. Alex

7. Kayla

8. Ashley

9. Jared

10. Elizabeth

I can't stop myself from grinning; I'm fourth. And, there's a very good chance that both Jared and Elizabeth will be going home. Jared starts screaming.

"I kicked that bitch's ass and she's above me! Why the fuck is she above me!" As he's shouting, he keeps approaching Ashley. Darren notices, because he steps in front of her.

"Shut up and back off," he says, flexing his knuckles, "You let yourself lose to your blond, that's why you're down there."

Jared just stares at him, then leaves the room with Elizabeth right behind him. They start whispering together and I don't like the way they look. They have to be planning something and whatever it is can't be good.

Now that they're gone, everyone starts to congratulate each other. I can't help but notice how Kayla and Ashley don't join in; for all they know, they'll be factionless. I try not to let myself dwell on them too much and look to Eric instead. Four and Six have already left, but he stuck around and he motions with his head towards the door. I start to walk over there and he joins me. Once we're out, he kisses me, wrapping his hands around my waist. I place my arms around his neck, glad to be together again.

"Congrats on fourth place," he says, "And I didn't get to say this earlier, but you look amazingly sexy." Thank you, Christina and Coraline.

"You didn't rig anything, did you?" It's been sitting in the back of my mind since they posted the ranks.

"Of course not," he says, "Four and Six control that. I really am just here to watch." Reassured, I push him against the wall and start our kiss all over again.

"Aggressive today," he says into my mouth. I feel his hands start to wonder along my body, "Want to come back to my place?" I stop completely and he backpedals.

"Not like that," he says, "Again, don't want to scare you off. I just think we'll have more privacy." I breathe again and decide to go with it. I shouldn't be nervous.

"Let's go," I say with a smile and he leads me to an upper level of the Pit.

We stop in front of a door and I have no idea what to expect. He probably wouldn't invite me over if it was gross inside, but then again, he's a bachelor; he might have a different idea of gross. Then again, he also had a tendency to bring "guests" home a lot, what if it's all 50 Shades of Grey inside? I'm holding my breath as he opens the door and…it's a normal apartment. It's rather large for one person, but I guess it makes sense since he's still a leader. He has a surprisingly well-stocked book shelf for someone who always says "faction before blood" even if they're all about fighting from what I can see. He also has a large TV, couch, and really good sound system against the wall. I see that there's a kitchen in here as well, but it looks absolutely untouched. It's almost disappointing how normal it is.

Once I've taken in all of the apartment, I look over at Eric. He's staring at me, as if to make sure I won't go bolting for the door. Does he still think I'm going to be scared off that easily? Rather than wait for him to make the first move, I grab him by the shirt, push him onto the couch, and kiss him. He catches on fast. He kisses me back, entwining his fingers in my hair; I love it when he does that. I'm exploring his chest all over again, when I decide I want to do something a little bolder. I start to pull his shirt up and over his head. He stops moving and leans up, moving me backwards.

"Before we continue, I need you to say exactly how far you're willing to go," he says, "I am a guy, after all." He's slightly red while he says that.

"I…don't think I could handle sex, yet," I say, turning red, too, "Beyond that, I don't know…"

"How about this," he says, "You set the pace." And he leans back to where he was, pulling me back towards him, and we're kissing again. I try to remove his shirt again and this time he lets me. It turns out the tribal tattoos on his arms extend along his whole torso. I kiss his neck when I notice one of his hands has moved to the zipper of my top. He looks at me and I see that he's waiting for my approval; this is what he meant by letting me set the pace. It feels more than a little unfair, but I blush and look down; I don't have anything on underneath the top and I just can't find it in me to let him take it off. He moves his hand away from the zipper and goes back to kissing me.

After a while, I pull away. I don't want to, but I'm getting tired.

"I think I've stayed up late enough," I say, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Want to stay overnight?" I know what I'm going to say; he's already proven that he respects me enough to not push.

"I'd love to." He picks me up and carries me down the hall to his room and sets me on the bed. He starts to rummage in a dresser and pulls out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He tosses them over to me.

"You can wear these if you want. Bathroom's right through there." He points to a door just outside the bedroom.

"Thanks," I say taking the clothes with me. As soon as I'm in the bathroom, I shut the door and look around a bit. The bathroom's a little larger than it needs to be, just like the rest of the apartment. It's also just as clean and normal as the rest of the place. I change into the clothes he gave me and start to open the drawers. I'm just looking for something to help me remove all the make-up; totally the only reason. I find that one is full of jewelry that has been separated into trays; given the number of piercings he has, I'm not surprised he needs this much space for them all. I move onto the next drawer and find a razor, scissors, clippers, and other things that would be used for personal grooming. I check the next drawer and find it empty. I search the area under the sink; there's just some extra toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I'm a little disappointed again, but glad that everything is normal.

I remove the make-up with toilet paper and water with a little bit of soap in it. I exit and find him lying on the bed with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. It seems he changed into some shorts, but chose to keep the shirt off; I'm glad. As I walk in the room, he opens his eyes, leans up, and smiles.

"Done snooping?"

"I wasn't snooping," I say, but I sound too defensive to have been doing anything else, "I was just removing the make-up…"

"Right," he says with a laugh.

I crawl into the bed with him and place my head on his right arm while he wraps his left around my waist.

"You know, if you let me do this, that arm isn't going to work in the morning," I say.

"I know, but it's worth it," he says, kissing me on the ear. I snuggle further into his chest and fall asleep in his warmth.

I'm awoken by someone banging on the door. I don't know how long I've been asleep, but I'm fairly sure it's still night.

"What the hell?" Eric gets up and walks over to the door. As he's walking, I notice that at the center of his back where his tribal tattoos come together, he has an Erudite eye sitting in Dauntless flames. So much for "faction before blood." He opens it, but I can't see who it is.

"Trouble in the transfer dorm. Meet me over in the infirmary." I think that's Four's voice.

"Again? I'll go get dressed," Eric says. It's odd that he wouldn't say anything about Four telling him what to do. But right now, I think that the situation is too bad for him to care. And what does he mean by "again?" We haven't had anything happen in our dorm this year. He shuts the door and heads back into the room.

"I'm going with you." I need to know what's going on.

"Go back to sleep." He says as he changes into jeans.

"No, I want to know what's happening." I'm not just going to go back to sleep after what happened. I need to know what's going on.

"Audrey, I don't have time for you to be stubborn. Just stay here and go back to sleep." He's throwing on a shirt with a stern look on his face.

"I said no. I'm going with you. I'm a transfer and I need to know what's happening."

"No you're not," he says, "Listen, last year I was woken up like this and I went to the infirmary to find a kid with a butter knife sticking out of his eye. I'm not going to have you see something like that and I doubt whoever's in the infirmary wants to be seen. If you really can't sleep, just wait for me here." I turn pale and just nod. So that was the "again."

Eric quickly throws on a pair of sneakers and leaves the apartment. I curl up on the bed. Could someone have done something like that? Forget someone, could Jared or Elizabeth have done something like that? They're the only ones desperate enough. But I can only wait for Eric and whatever news he has to tell me. It feels like hours have passed when he finally comes back into the apartment. He sits down on the bed and sighs.

"It was Darren," he says, "He woke up in the night to find that his legs weren't working. He was brought to the infirmary and they found someone had stuck a needle in a nerve cluster on his spine. It's permanent." It's not as gruesome as a butter knife to the eye, but the end result is the same; he won't be capable of staying.

"Elizabeth and Jared did it," I say, "No one else would have any idea where to place a needle on the spine."

"It's not that simple," he says, placing his head in his hands, "There's no actual proof. Unless we can actually connect them to what happened, they stay."

"But how's that fair!"

"It's not, but that's the way it is." I can't believe it. They could have killed him and they're going to get away with it. I finally notice that he's changed back into bed clothes.

"You're going to sleep?" How can he sleep after something like this?

"Yes and you should too," he says, getting back into the bed, "Talking won't change what happened. You need to learn how to move on if you're going to stay in Dauntless." I can't say anything back, because he is right. I can't change anything. I lie down with him and place my head on his chest as he wraps me in his arms; he feels more protective than usual as he does this. I just lean into him more and try to concentrate on the sound of his heartbeat; I don't want what happened to Darren be my last thought before I fall asleep.


	21. Chapter 20

I wake up to Eric playing with my hair. I try to keep my eyes shut a while longer and stay in this temporary haven.

"I know you're awake," he says. I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's smirking. I finally open my eyes and look up at his face. He really is smirking down at me, his grey eyes warmer than I've ever seen them.

"You're ruining the moment," I say with a smile.

"Well, I'm stuck here until you get up." We somehow managed to stay in the same position as yesterday, with me turned into him and one of his arms underneath me.

"Good. Then you can stay here longer," I say, kissing him. He kisses me back, then groans a bit.

"Can I at least have my arm back?" It's rather pale now; oops. I move out of the way and he pulls it back and flexes it.

"I did warn you yesterday," I say. He just laughs and kisses me.

"Alright, my beautiful smartass. But I really have to get up now. Leadership is meeting to decide what to do about last night. Apparently, there's some new evidence." I'm no longer smiling. I had hoped that what had happened was just some terrible dream. But it's reality and I can't hide from it. He gets up and grabs some clothes from the drawers.

"Oh…alright. Are you able to tell me what happens?" I need to know the conclusion of all this.

"Sure I can," he says, giving me a kiss on the forehead. He heads into the bathroom and I'm left with the ghost of his warmth in the bed. But I should probably get up, too. I roll out and collect my clothes. I wonder what I should leave in. I'm definitely leaving off the shoes; I don't feel like wearing those all the way back. I hear a laugh and Eric is watching me stare at the clothes in my hands.

"You can wear my stuff back to the dorms," he says. I'm glad; my walk back is going to be embarrassing, but it would probably be worse if I was wearing the same clothes. "I don't know how long the meeting will take. Apartment's yours, if you want." I kind of want to stay, but I want to change clothes more.

"I think I'll leave with you." I head over to him and give him a quick kiss as we head to the door.

"Remember, don't get too hung up," he says, kissing me before we split in different directions, him heading to an even higher level of the Pit as I head lower. I look up at the glass ceiling and see it's actually very early; I guess I'm going to be getting up at this hour until training's over.

I reach the dorms and everyone's gone except for Coraline and Alex.

"You didn't come back last night," Coraline says with a smile, "I assume you already heard what happened." Her smile falls as she says that. She and Alex look down and I realize how terrible it must have been. I'm guilty that I'm glad I was spared having to be here when it happened. I just nod to her and start to grab clothes to change into.

When I come out, they're both still there waiting for me.

"When are they announcing the cuts?" It's a better subject than the one we were talking about.

"We don't know," Alex says, "Four and Six said that the cuts are temporarily on hiatus." I wonder if Eric's meeting has something to do with this.

"I want food," Coraline says. It's unusual for her to change the subject with the Dining Hall, but none of us want to talk. As we walk over, she and Alex are holding hands; maybe the tragedy brought them together. When we sit at the table, everyone is as loud as ever, but it feels forced. As if every laugh is being choked out of them. Four is the first one to mention the tension.

"I'm sorry we couldn't do more about what happened," he says, "Are you guys alright?" We're all surprised that it's him asking us this and not Six. But I can see that he has guilt written all him; if he was Six's instructor last year, then it means last year's accident happened under his watch. None of it is his fault, but I'm not surprised he's taken it upon himself anyway. He just seems like that kind of person.

"We're fine," Coraline says with a smile, "In fact, I'm thinking of taking up a sewing class." Everyone stares at her in silence.

"Too soon?" Then Uriah starts laughing first and everyone joins in. I guess the old saying is true; you can laugh about something or cry about it. We have to get used to people leaving us. There's only going to be ten people left; ten will be cut, no matter what. Darren just left us in a more dramatic matter.

We finish breakfast with a little more ease. We're all sitting at the table chatting when Eric approaches. He gives me a quick kiss and sits, which surprises everyone.

"Leadership is done meeting. Four, Six, there's a slight change in cuts." He seems stressed. I never thought he was that serious when it came to leadership, but I guess he just hides it well.

"Wait, what happened?" I ask, "You said you'd tell me."

"Fine," he says, "You'll all find out soon enough, anyway." He sighs and leans on the table; everyone leans in with him. We all want to know what happened.

"The other leaders and I met up because of new evidence; that evidence is a testimony by Elizabeth. She made a deal; she rolls over on Jared in exchange for elimination immunity. So she stays and Jared will be factionless. The crime isn't severe enough for the death penalty. Instead, he'll get a Farewell."

"But she was probably involved in this anyway! How the hell does she get to stay!"

"Maybe, but they're more concerned with getting rid of Jared. It's better to have a bitch than a sociopath. One is less likely to act on their impulses." Everyone just looks down at the table. Six speaks first.

"I'll go post the cuts, then." She gets up and Four follows her as they head out of the Dining Hall. It's still so quiet that it's stifling.

"I still have some stuff to settle," Eric says breaking the silence. He kisses me as he gets up. "I'll see you later."

Eventually, Coraline, Alex, and I get up to go to the dorms; it's best to get the cuts out of the way now. We enter the dorms and look at the board; Jared and Darren have their names crossed out. Ashley and Kayla are in the room, Ashley crying into Kayla's arms.

"He told me to stay," I can hear her cry, "He told me to stay for him." I feel like my heart is breaking while I listen to her. I don't want to stay anymore, so I leave the room and Coraline follows.

"Where we headed to?" She grabs hold of my hand. I squeeze hers back and we just start to walk around.

"I don't know where we're going, but I'd rather talk about something new," I say, "Like the way you and Alex were holding hands." It's better to find a silver lining.

"Yeah, we kind of got together right after…you know," she says, "I was terrified; I guess it was the screaming. But he just held me and said it would be okay. And I believed him." She blushes as she's talking; I'd never seen her look so shy. As we're walking, we end up in the Pit. In the center are people yelling, but not in the usual cheerful way. It sounds more like an angry mob. I see Max standing on a raised platform in the Pit with Eric and three others flanking him.

"Today, we will be saying Farewell to the criminal Jared Halbert! He attacked a fellow Transfer in the middle of the night, permanently disabling him! For his cowardice, he will be given over to the factionless!" As soon as he's done speaking, I see someone drag Jared out from a tunnel and into the center of the crowd. They form a circle and scream at him. Max, Eric, and the rest come down from the platform and head to the center of the circle where Jared is. They form a smaller circle around him. Max raises his fist and the crowd somehow goes silent.

"Let the Farewell begin!" The crowd starts screaming again, twice as loud as before. Max moves in and punches Jared in the stomach. Next, a woman on his right knees him in the face. Next the man on her right punches Jared in the face. I fully grasp what's happening; they're moving around the circle. Jared takes another kick and now it's Eric's turn. He slams his elbow into Jared's face. But with Eric, it doesn't end; it just goes right back to Max. I don't know how many times they go around the circle before they finally stop. Jared's been reduced to a bloody heap at this point; he might as well be dead.

The same person that dragged Jared out drags him back into the tunnel. The crowd is still screaming, though. Coraline and I turn around, now that it's over and walk silently back to the dorms. Maybe it would've been better if we'd stayed there.

**A/N: I just realized, it's been one week since I started this. Thanks for all the support, so far! Might be a slow day tomorrow and Saturday; I have some family stuff and a wedding to go to.**


	22. Chapter 21

I'm lying on my bed when Eric finds me. I don't know how long I've been there just staring at the ceiling. It's only him and me in the room right now.

"I saw you at the Pit," he says, "Your hair gave you away." He sits down next to me and places one of his hands on my cheek and his fingers start to entwine themselves in my hair. I look up at him, but can't find it in me to smile. I know what happened down there was justice, but it was just so brutal. I curl into his warmth, placing my head on his lap.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry you had to see that. That is Dauntless; if you can't accept it, this isn't the place for you." The words themselves are harsh, but he says them gently.

"I know," I say; that's all I can think of to say. Dauntless may be one of the most care-free factions, but it's also the most brutal. And it's the one that I chose for myself.

"Move over," he says and I move my head as he lays down next to me. He wraps his arms around me and I can't help but notice how the knuckles of his right hand are scraped. I guess he notices me staring, because he tries to move his hand away, but I catch it before he can. I kiss his hand and he stops trying move it away from me.

"Don't you be the one to run away, okay." As long as I'm not leaving, he isn't, either. He just laughs and pulls me tighter.

"I don't run from anything." We kiss and I know he means it. We lie there for a while when his stomach growls.

"You're always the one who ruins it," I say with a laugh.

"Shut up," he says, "Just get up and come with me."

I stand and we walk, hand in hand, to the Dining Hall. We grab some food and head over to his apartment. Once we're in, we head over to the small table and set down our food. I sit and he heads over to the refrigerator and comes back with two beers.

"Trying to get me drunk?" I ask with a smirk.

"No, I just don't keep anything else around." He's such a bachelor. I try the beer and it tastes ok. Most girls I know describe it as nasty, but it's fine. Dinner passes by with some silence, but I don't mind it. There's no pressure to say something. Once we're done, I grab our plates and head to his sink. I start to wash them off when he comes behind me and wraps his arms around me and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"You'd make a great maid," he says with a laugh.

"A maid?!" That's not the word I would have used. He really just loves to push. He just laughs again and tries to kiss me, but I give him a little shove. He just pulls me tighter and kisses me anyway. I'm trying to be pissed, but end up laughing and kissing him.

He leads me over to the bedroom and things go much the same way they did last night. We're laying down facing each other and I've already taken his shirt off when his hands start to tease at the bottom of my shirt and he looks at me. But this time, I let him take it off; I have a bra on, anyway, so I don't feel as embarrassed. He slides it off of me and I start turning red immediately. Will he be disappointed? What if I look fat at this angle? I know everyone always says the whole "love your body" thing, but the questions pop up anyway. Eric just comes closer and kisses me on the mouth and starts kissing along my jawline and down my neck; as he does this, the questions disappear and I feel like the most beautiful person in the world. I run my hands through his hair and pull his face back up to mine.

He doesn't push to remove any more tonight and I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief. I would probably hyperventilate if I had to remove anything else. After a while, we stop and I'm just lying in his arms; this is easily becoming my favorite pastime. Staring at his tattoos, I think of one question.

"Care to tell me about that tattoo on your back?" I say with a smirk.

"Dammit, you actually caught that," he says, then he sighs, "That was my first tattoo. A bit of Transfer nostalgia."

"What was that? Something about faction before blood?"

"What? You want to see the bottom of the Chasm?" I just laugh and drop it, but he starts tracing the outline of the fire peeking out.

"So, I told you about mine; tell me about yours."

"A reminder of what I left behind," I say with a smile; I may have lost some of the people I love, but I'm starting to gain some new ones. They'll never replace them; they make a place of their own. We stay together until I find myself falling asleep.

"I don't think I can stay over tonight," I say, "Training starts bright and early tomorrow."

"And you say I ruin the moment," he says with a sigh. I try to get up, but he holds on to me.

"I need to go," I say with disappointment; I hate responsibility right now.

"Fine," he says, giving me a kiss, "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

I get up and start to head back to the dorms. When I arrive, I find that most everyone is asleep, but one person in particular catches my eye: Elizabeth. I don't know how she can sleep so soundly after what she was involved in. But there's nothing I can do; I just go over to my bed and change into some sleeping clothes. Coraline stirs in the other bed.

"I didn't think you'd be back tonight. Head over here to make sure you'd actually get to sleep?" I can hear the smirk on her face.

"Be quiet and go back to bed." She laughs quietly and turns over. I finally lay down and sleep, trying not to focus too much on Darren's empty bed.

As everyone's getting up, I notice that they're all avoiding Elizabeth; if she was unpopular before, she's a pariah now. But she's surprisingly quiet for once. I expected her to be huffy and more shameless, but I guess she has a conscience after all. She's the first one out the door. One by one, we all filter out of the room and head over to the Dining Hall. I just grab a muffin and move with the crowd to our newest training room…well, hallway. Four and Six just wait in front of the door as everyone comes in. Even the Dauntless-born are here; we'll be together from now on, I guess.

"What do you think we're doing here?" Coraline asks. She's been looking around the room as if expecting something to pop up out of nowhere. Before any of us answer, the last few people arrive and Four speaks.

"Jeremy, come with us." And he and Six disappear with Jeremy behind the door.

"Anyone want to answer me now?" Coraline asks in an impatient voice.

"Fear simulations," Parker says. All the transfers look over at him in surprise. "We're not supposed to know, but it's fairly common knowledge around here." I don't care about the rest; the only word I care about is simulations. I'm going to be going through a simulation and I need to be normal. I can't show that I know what I'm doing. I can't let them know about my Divergence. If it's such a big secret without so much as a single bit of recorded information, it stayed that way for a reason.

People are called in one by one; it looks like they're working their way down the list, going from the first place initiates to second and so forth. It only takes Parker's, Sam's, and Xandra's names for me to realize that I'm next.

"Come in, Audrey," Six says and I walk through the door like a prisoner to their execution.

"It seems someone already told you guys what you're going to be doing, but I'll say it anyway" Four says, pulling out a syringe full of an orange tinted liquid, "You're going to be going into a fear simulation where you literally face your fears. It's going to teach you to control your emotions in the midst of your greatest fears." He injects the serum into my neck.

"It will take effect in sixty seconds," Six says, "Be brave. First time's always the hardest." She gives me a smile and I focus on her face as I feel myself slipping.

I find myself in crystal clear water as far as the eye can see. I'm treading water just fine when suddenly, I feel something try to pull me down; I look and there's nothing there. I just kick harder, but the invisible force pulls harder. I'm struggling to keep my head up when I feel the water itself try to pull my face under the water. I'm trying to hold my breath, but I can't seem to break the surface of the water no matter how hard I struggle. I claw for the light I see shining down from the surface of the water, but I'm just being pulled lower. My lungs are screaming for air and, even though I know none of this is real, I feel like I'm going to die. Then I think of what Four said, that this is to control my emotions. And I cease struggling. I let myself be pulled deeper and deeper as the light disappears and I relax completely and shut my eyes. Suddenly, I no longer feel the water around me. I open my eyes and begin gulping for air. Six puts an arm around me.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," I say, "It was like a breath of fresh air." I know they were just doing their jobs, but I still feel bitter.

"It gets better with time," Four says.

"Great, so I'll almost die for six minutes instead of ten."

"You weren't under for six minutes," Six says, "You were under for two minutes forty-five seconds. That was my time when I finished Stage Two." This is bad. This is really bad. I thought I responded in a normal manner, but I still ended up failing.

"About that time," Four says, "Did you know you were in a simulation?" He says it casually, but his eyes clearly state that it's something dire. I don't know how to respond. Do they know? Six's mother was the one who told me of my Divergence, but I don't know how much Six is aware of. But as I look at her, I can see something in her eyes that tells me I'm safe with them.

"Yes." Four and Six give each other a look and suddenly Four's at the computer.

"You know about Divergence?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to change the time on here; you'll still be in first, but you're going to be ahead by half a minute instead of seven. I'm also going to loop the footage in this room, so it matches. You can't tell anyone about what happened; especially not Eric."

"Why him?" I know I can't tell anyone, but why mention him?

"Because the Dauntless are hunting Divergence," Four says, "He's leadership, so he knows."

"How do you know that?" I can't see him standing by while people are hunted.

"I have my reasons." The look in Four's eyes are enough for me to be unable to talk back. I immediately feel guilty; so far, whenever I've assumed something bad about him, I've been proven wrong. I refuse to believe what Four said.

"And I have mine." We lock eyes, neither of us relenting.

"Enough," Six says, "Now, you need to stay here for a few more minutes to ensure there's not two Audreys later."

"Fine." I sit and wait. The silence is overbearing. Six is the one to break it.

"I have a fear that involves drowning, too," she says, "It's not that I fear the water, though."

"I don't either," I say. Now that I'm finally able to think about it, why was I in the water?

"Our fears are often symbolic. Is there anything that it can represent?" I think of the water. How it was crystal clear, so I could see all around me. How it held me back. What in my life involves water? But then it hits me, the crystal clear water of Erudite.

"I think it's about my Divergence. That the Erudite in me will get me killed."

"At least you came from there, so it's not as unusual. I just have to pass for a smart Dauntless." I look at Six with surprise; I never thought she'd share something like this with me.

"You're Divergent?" I'd assumed her mother had told her about it. How her mother knew, I don't know. Maybe she is as well.

"We both are," Four says. His words come back to me with more force, but I have to fight them. I have to believe that Eric couldn't do something like that.

"I think you've stayed long enough," Six says, "I'm sure you're tired of hearing this, but tell no one."

"I won't." I walk out of the room and consider all that's happened within. Once I'm out, I see Eric and I practically run into his arms.

"I'm only pampering you today. You have to become Dauntless on your own," he says, stroking my hair. He must think I'm like this from the simulation, but I'm holding onto him for dear life to cement my resolve. I will not doubt him, not this time.


	23. Chapter 22

Today's finally the last day of Fear Simulations. As with every day since the first simulation, I'm lost. I follow a routine to keep from breaking. I wake up in Eric's arms, as I've done every night since the simulations have started, but it's not the same. It can never be the same; I will never have a single good night with him. The secret that I'm holding onto ensures that I can never feel as close as I did. I didn't have to think about it before; it wasn't even like a secret before. It was more like something I didn't bother to mention, because I thought it didn't matter. Almost like it wasn't real. But now, the weight of my Divergence is crushing me. Even Eric's noticed that I've become distant, but he doesn't know why. He just assumes that the Fear Simulations have been getting to me. It's the only reason why he lets me continue to stay overnight; I don't cry, scream, or complain about the fears in any way during the day, but at night I nestle into him and stay there. I need him. He's the only thing that can keep away the nightmares at night and make me feel safe; even if he's supposedly the person the most dangerous to me…but that isn't true. It can't be true. I have to believe it isn't true. Or else I'm lost.

Breakfast may as well be dust; I don't care for any of it. I try to smile and laugh and pretend everything is fine, but I'm a poor actress. Coraline and Alex are just the same; it's like we're all shells right now. The first day wasn't so bad; Uriah and Zeke were able to genuinely make us smile for a while, but now we're even starting to sap the energy from everyone else. Anyone that an initiate comes across becomes a victim of our energy vampirism. And I can't hold a conversation with Four; it's not like I could before, but now I can't even say a word to him even though he's helping keep my secret.

Next is the hallway outside the simulation room. I've never been in a place so silent. Everyone just stares at the floor and waits to see the next level of their personal hell. It's constant torture but there's nothing we can say about it; we signed up for it, all the same. I look around at everyone else and find we all look about the same. All of us are pale with bags under our eyes from missing out on sleep. Our eyes all have the same dead look like we've never experienced happiness and never will again; it even feels like a foreign concept now, happiness. Like something someone made up to taunt us.

Once my name is called, I go in and I wonder what's coming. The second time I went in, I was beaten to death in the center of the Pit. The whole time, the crowd was shouting I was different, dangerous. I guess even in a simulation, my subconscious knows not to mention Divergence. The next one was being hunted; literally hunted through a forest of trees as people tried to shoot and stab me. But that pales in comparison to the only other two I've seen; my mother's death. The first time, she was killed by two men…or I wish it was as simple as that. She was tortured beforehand; nails ripped out, some fingers cut, stabbed in places that would never allow her to bleed enough to die, and finally being given a bullet to the head. The other time, I had to kill her myself. I shot her quickly before it could become any worse. I hope I don't come across anything new today.

Six is there waiting with Four. He just stays at the computer like he always does while Six injects the serum and takes hold of my hand. We came up with a code; once I'm awake, I keep my eyes shut and she'll squeeze my hand when I should pretend to wake up. It's much easier than constantly doctoring footage. It's risky enough doing it once; doing it five more times would make it statistically impossible for no one to realize what we've done. Then I go under for thankfully the last time.

I'm sitting on the bed of Eric's apartment, but something's different…I don't know how I know this, because I'm fully clothed, but Eric and I have done it. He walks into the room and sneers at me.

"Get out." The words cut me like a knife. This isn't fear in the normal sense; this is pure hurt.

"Leave, I've grown tired of you." His eyes are cold; so cold that I shiver. This is what I've never wanted to admit. The original reason why I could never open up to him. It seems almost hilarious that I would be thinking of this now, but it hurts all the same.

"Why?" I know I shouldn't encourage the simulation, but I can't control myself anymore. My feelings, my face, my tears, all of this is too real for me.

"Because you're nothing. I don't need you anymore. We were nothing. You didn't even let me in. You lied. You're a liar and I don't care about you at all." Even in the simulation, it all comes back to my Divergence. But the simulation is right; I haven't let him in. I haven't actually had any faith in him; I've just been hiding this whole time, telling myself he didn't need to know. That even if it hurt me, I was keeping him safe from what I was. I was only sparing myself from what the truth might be.

I curl up on the bed and cry while he continues to spit his words at me, escalating in severity and sound, cutting me deeper each time. Eventually, I just want to make it stop, but I can't make myself calm down. I can't regulate my breathing. I can't do anything. Then I realize, I have to listen to what he says; I have to get out. I drag myself to my feet, sobbing. I start to trudge to the door and he follows me the whole way, still cutting me down. His voice is filling the whole apartment at this point and just getting louder; it isn't even possible for a person to be this loud. Eventually I get to the door of the apartment. It may have only been a couple feet, but I feel like it took a mile to get here. He's still going when I cut him off.

"I know you're lying." I walk out the door and it ends, but I don't feel any better. My words were empty. I don't know; that's the whole point. I have to believe that the simulation I dreamed up is lying, but I don't know that for sure.

It takes Six a few minutes to squeeze my hand and I just sob while I wait. Even when she squeezes my hand I continue to sob into her arms for what feels like an eternity. I can't believe myself; I'm as far from in control as it gets.

"Despite what he may or may not have done, I think he actually cares about you," Four says. That stops my tears right where they are. I look at him, unable to grasp what just happened. I just nod at him and try to catch my breath.

"Okay now?" Six asks. I nod again, even if it's a lie. I head out of the room and immediately over to Eric's apartment. I go inside; he gave me the key after the first night. I go to the bed, the one that I was just crying on during the simulation. I curl up on it all over again, but without tears this time. Then I wait for him to come back.

It doesn't take long. Eric storms through the door of the apartment; he's about to storm into the room, too, but I guess he reconsiders. He just stands in the doorway.

"Do you believe that?" I already know what he's referring to. His voice is level but underneath, he sounds hurt. Damn that stupid simulation to hell.

"No…well…I don't know. I don't believe you'd ever do that, but some stupid, insecure part of me does." Why do I have to start crying all over again? He sits on the bed, too, and wraps me in his arms. I cry into his shoulder instead. At least it's quiet tears this time and not full-blown sobbing.

"Eric, we need to talk." I feel his body tense around me.

"Please don't do this." I can hear the plea in his voice, but I don't understand until I think of my poor word choice. He thinks I'm leaving.

"I'm not leaving you. That isn't what I need to talk with you about…or, well, tell you about. I just hope you don't leave me…" He relaxes a little more, but isn't completely relaxed yet.

"Eric, I haven't told you something about myself. I'm different. I'm Div-"

"I know Audrey," he says with pain in his voice, "I figured out that the first simulation was a loop. I'd just hoped I was wrong." He's known that long?

"You never said anything…"

"Because it's something I can't talk about. That you can't talk about. That we can't talk about. But whatever you are, I love you." He holds me tighter and I try to pull myself even closer.

"What now?" I don't know where we go from here.

"I don't know. There's something big happening. I'll keep you out of the way, keep you safe. I don't want to lose you."

"What do you mean by 'something big?'" What is he trying to hide this time? I'm surprised when he sighs and tells me. I guess if I was willing to risk my life and tell him about me, he'll do about the same.

"It's about Erudite and Dauntless. They…I…we…believe that Divergence destroys the system of the factions; that they were essentially errors in the system that would create chaos. So, the errors were to be…erased. But now it's about control; about running everything." Four was half-right, but it's almost too much for me to handle. And I've pieced together the rest of his words. If they want to run everything, there's one thing standing in their way: Abnegation. And given how the Dauntless are, I don't see Abnegation standing a chance. But at this moment, I'm more concerned with what he's done.

"Is this why you watch us?" I can't just leave. I can't.

"Half of it. It only comes in during the simulation portion."

"Have you ever caught anyone?" Please…please…please…

"No." Thank God.

"If you had, would you have reported them?"

"…Yes." I can't help that it hurts for him to say this. But he never actually did that, so I can't see it as the same, either. The air has been cleared between us and I don't have the strength to leave after all I've learned. I am lost now; it's terrible, what he's been involved in, but it wasn't mindless cruelty. It was fear that he and the rest would never admit to; a fear that the system we all live by was going to fall apart. I need space; I need air. I get up.

"I'm going out. I love you. I'll be back." I don't wait for a reply, I just head out the door and try to keep my world from falling apart any more than it has.

**A/N: God, this chapter was difficult to write after a wedding. I was all happy and stuff from it, so a little voice in my head kept screaming "No! Make it fluffy! Don't do this!" but I ignored it, because we're too far in for it to become a fluff.**


	24. Chapter 23

I can hear Eric scream and something thud, but I can't go back in. I start to walk away; I refuse to literally run away. But that's exactly what I'm doing; I'm running away like a coward, because I can't face what's happening right now. Erudite and Dauntless are going to attack Abnegation and he's part of it. I don't know how deep he is in this, but if he's searching for Divergents, he's pretty far in. What the hell am I going to do? Will he even listen to me if I ask him to stop this upcoming war? And if he did, what can we do? If I ask him to make this stop from within, he'll be opposing two factions on his own and I know they're not above murder. I'd be asking him to sign his life away for nothing and I can't do that; for my own sake and his, I just can't. Then, there's sabotage; we could try to stop it from the outside, but there's no guarantee. We'll probably wind up dead, but it's better than the first option. At least I'll be with him in that case. But I don't even know where to start; I don't know what their plan is or anything. And I'll need people to help. I'm fairly sure I can count on Six; it's her old faction, after all. And if she's going to go, I know Four will as well. Beyond that, I don't know who else I can include on this, but it'll probably take more than four people to stop two factions, even if at least two are prodigies. Why did everything have to become so complicated?

I look around me and find that I'm in front of the training room. Why did I have to take myself here? It holds some of my best memories, even if I had to bleed for some of them. I don't want to taint that with the sorrow I feel now. But I go in anyway, just to find I'm not alone; Four's inside hitting a bag. I turn to leave again, but he calls out to me instead.

"You look like hell." It's so spot on that I start to laugh like a madwoman before collapsing onto my knees and crying all over again. I don't just look like hell; I'm in hell. I don't know when he approached, but I feel Four stiffly pat my head. I look up at him and he just looks so awkward, I almost feel bad for doing this in front of him; he obviously has no idea what to do.

"If it's what I said, I'm sorry." I start to laugh all over again just because that's the least of my problems.

"I wish that was it."

"Want to talk about it?" He's lost, but he's trying.

"You were right." The words fall like poison from my mouth.

"Oh." He sits down next to me, but doesn't try to directly comfort me anymore. I guess he can see that I'm beyond that now.

"Well, half right. But that's still too much…" I can feel the tears begin to well up again. "I'm angry but I still love him, anyway. Am I stupid or what?"

"You're not stupid; you're human. We tend to forgive the people we love for most anything, even leaving us in a nightmare." His voice is strained as he says this. I guess we're both opening up right now.

"What the hell do I do now, then?"

"I can't tell you what exactly to do. But to figure it out, you have to decide what you're willing to forgive and fix." Can I forgive him for all this? For being willing to kill others for the sake of the status quo? Again, he didn't do it out of malice, but of a fear. Fear of what life would be like if the faction system were to break; a fear of the unknown. I know my answer in my heart. I'll forgive him, but I'll never forget this; I'll never be able to erase what he's done from my memory, but I can live with that. But how can I fix us? I don't know where to start. I don't know if the kind of broken we are is repairable. Would he even want us to be fixed, too, or will he give up because I ran away? All these thoughts run through my head as Four and I just sit together in silence. Eventually, I know what I have to do; I have to go back if I ever want to know if we can be fixed.

"Thanks."

I head out the door and start to go back to the apartment. I finally reach the door and find the strength in me to knock. Eric opens the door quickly and, once he sees me, moves out of the way to let me in. His eyes are slightly red and the knuckles of his right hand are bruised and cut. Once I'm in, I see why; the door to his room is open and I can see a couple holes in the wall.

"Going to break it off officially? Don't worry, I still won't sell you out to leadership," he says. He doesn't even say it with any hatred; his voice is that of a man who's lost and I don't like it.

"No. I want to fix this, us," I say, "I ran away, but I came back. I love you; I can't just leave." He looks at me like I've just saved him. I slowly go over to where he is and embrace him as he wraps his arms around me, too.

"I can forgive what you've done, but I can't forget it," I say. I feel like I should establish that first. He tenses up as I say this.

"I'm sorry." I can tell he means it; by the sound of his voice, the way he holds me, I know he means it and I'm melting all over again.

"I love you, but that's not all we need to fix. We can't have a war." I look in his eyes for any sign of agreement. He looks at me and I can see the argument in his head taking place in his eyes. If he goes along with me, he's probably going to come out of this with much less. He's a leader right now, but he probably won't be by the end of this. I just hope he agrees. He closes his eyes, sighs, opens them again, and looks back at me.

"Alright. I take it you already have a brilliant plan underway," he smiles a little as he says this and my eyes fill with tears as I smile back. I'm so happy he chose me; he chose to go along with this, even if it would cost him dearly.

"If you can find out exactly what they're planning, I can. Don't openly oppose what they say, but look for any sign of dissent. So far, I think we'll have to sabotage whatever it is. We can sabotage what they're planning by finding a window to stop them with solid evidence to help back us up. So no matter what, they can be brought down." I don't say what's implied. So that even if we die, we won't have died for nothing. He kisses me and sighs.

"I'll trust your brilliance." I'm torn now; I'm happy that he's with me, but my heart is breaking because we've both just signed our lives away. But it's the right thing to do. I hold him close, as if he might be snatched from my arms; he just might be, soon. I kiss him; now that there's nothing hidden anymore, I no longer feel the barrier that was there. I try to put everything I have into that kiss and he returns it all. As we're kissing, I realize there's something else I want now. I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom, shutting the door.

I lead him over to the bed and have him sit and I straddle his lap, continuing our earlier kiss. He seems somewhat surprised, but he goes along with it. I move my hands to the bottom of his shirt and pull it off of him. He stops, surprised, but I just kiss him again and he forgets his apprehension. I start to remove my own shirt, but now he actually stops me.

"Audrey…" He can't seem to find the words that I know he's looking for. Why?

"Eric, I love you," I say.

That's the best way to sum it up, in my opinion. There's a very good possibility that at least one of us will die and I'm not going to waste my time in apprehension. We may not have known each other for the longest time and I may eventually regret this, but I know I'll regret it more if I never get the chance to truly be with him. I think he understands that. I move my mouth right in front of his and give him the same invitation I did that fateful day in the training room. He accepts and this time, he goes to remove my shirt and I let him. I don't question how I look, I know I'm beautiful to him. He turns flips us so I'm lying on my back. I remove his jeans and he places his hands on mine, but he stops for a moment.

"You're sure?" He looks at me and I can tell that he would stop if I said so. I just kiss him and he takes them off and now we're both just in our underclothes. He removes my bra and the rest and I hold onto his face and kiss him once more.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." And I believe every word.

**A/N: Sorry I couldn't update yesterday. Work :p**


	25. Chapter 24

I wake up in Eric's arms in the morning and temporarily forget all the turmoil going on around us. We are all that exists to me right now. I listen to his heart and convince myself I can hear it say my name with each beat. We're completely in sync at this moment, our breaths and the pounding of our hearts matching perfectly. We are one right now and I wish this moment could last forever. But I'm finally noticing that I haven't eaten in at least 24 hours. I try to ignore it, but my stomach betrays me.

"Who ruins the moment?" Things really are back to normal. But there's a possible end in sight. I can't think of that, though. I won't let what I can't currently change affect me right now.

"We're one for one right now," I say with a smile.

"Let's get you some breakfast." We get up and I grab some of my clothes from the drawer, glad that I started keeping some at his place when I started staying over for the simulations.

At the Dining Hall, we grab our food, but this time we head over to my table.

"We're sitting there today?" He never wants to sit there; in fact, he never wants to sit in the Dining Hall.

"There's always time for firsts. And I figure there are more than a few helpful people there." I guess he came to the same conclusion that I did about Four and Six. I wish it was something other than that; that maybe he'd warmed up to my friends, but I guess some things are too much to hope for. We sit, much to the surprise of everyone there. Alex and Coraline no longer look like zombies; the end of the fear simulations seems to have revived them. The first thing Coraline does is turn to me and mouth "You're glowing!" Nothing slips by her.

"Audrey, see the board yet?" I'm surprised Alex is the first one to talk to me. I was expecting Coraline to shout something like, "You're a woman now!"

"No, why?" No one's cut after Stage 2, so I didn't think they'd post anything. In fact, I'd mostly forgotten that training was happening. But even with all that's going on, I have to continue. I have to keep going on like everything is normal.

"Rankings are up. You got first," Alex smiles. I'm not really that surprised; I did have to lay down for quite a while just to give myself a more reasonable lead.

"Cool. Who's second?" I'd always wondered who I had to wait for.

"Me," Coraline says with a smirk, "And is there anything you want to tell me about later?" And there it is. It's actually kind of nice to act like everything is normal.

"No, not really," I say with a smile. She just pouts. During this whole exchange, most of the others have been staring at Eric's presence like I came in with some rare, exotic beast.

"This is awkward," Uriah says, "Eric, why are you eating here today?"

"Because I want to," Eric says, "And because I need to talk with Four and Six." They give each other a look and nod their assent.

The table thaws a bit and everyone starts to talk and joke around like we used to. I really missed this during the serums. Suddenly, Coraline says something and Uriah aims a handful of cake in her direction. She ducks, I dodge, and it hits Eric right on the cheek. He glares at Uriah and Uriah looks completely terrified. Eric picks up a muffin and hurls it at Uriah who moves out of the way and it hits Zeke. Eric laughs and I hear someone yell "Food fight!" It really has been too long since we did this. And I'm overjoyed that Eric seemed to fit right in. By the time we're done, there's a solid layer of food on everyone. I wonder if it's too much to hope for that we can do this again for a long time.

"I'll meet you two over at my apartment," Eric says and he takes my hand as we leave the hall.

"I'm going to head to the dorms and get cleaned up," I say. I really don't feel like having eggs in my hair all day.

"Or we can get cleaned up together," Eric says with a smirk. That does sound like a good plan.

"Alright, let me just grab more clothes," I say and we head over to the dorms first.

Inside, I grab a tank top and another pair of jeans. I also take a moment to look at the board.

1. Audrey 7:36  
2. Coraline 8:00  
3. Jeremy 8:17  
4. Ashley 8:42  
5. Alex 8:51  
6. Elizabeth 9:03  
7. Sam 9:28  
8. Kayla 9:39

Kayla isn't doing very well this round. She seems to have become withdrawn. I haven't seen her spending much time with Ashley or Jeremy anymore. I guess it must hurt that they're doing so well and she's still so low.

Eric and I head over to his apartment and into the shower; it really was a good idea. You'd never expect a place for you to get clean could be used in such a dirty fashion. Once we're out, we get dressed and wait on the couch for Four and Six. Eventually, they knock and I answer the door. They don't seem surprised at all by my presence; they may have even guessed why we're here. Four leans against the wall while Six decides to sit on the table.

"You two already know about Audrey." Eric says it as a fact. They both nod; there's no use denying it. They were the only ones who could have looped the footage.

"How much do you two know about Dauntless and Erudite?" Six looks over at Four and he answers for them.

"That we've been very friendly with Erudite lately. The Erudite have also been researching all through the night; what it is, I don't know. They're also stirring dissent against Abnegation and insisting upon a change of command. They would only need us if they needed some type of enforcement. So, they probably plan on a change of leadership through violence." I knew these two were smart; they got just about all of it. Though now that I look back on it, I'm surprised I didn't piece it together, too, earlier. I guess affection for my old faction blinded me.

"If you all know that much, this'll be fast," I say, "Long story short, we're going to try to stop a war, but that's rather difficult with two people."

"I'll help," Six says, "I can't just leave my family to die."

"I will, too," says Four. Exactly the responses I expected.

"Glad to have you on board," I say, "We can't do anything until Eric finds out what they're doing. Except maybe warn Abnegation of what's coming."

"But none of us have the ability to go to Abnegation," Eric says, "Any of us go, we'll draw too much attention."

"But what if we get someone who does have that ability," Six says, "Will is an ambassador. It's his job to visit other factions."

"Can he be trusted?" Eric looks directly into Six's eyes.

"More than you," Four says. Do these two really have to do this now?

"What the hell do you mean?" Eric gets up and starts a stare down with Four and they're both swaggering over to each other. I just sigh and Six puts her face in her hand.

"What I mean is that—"

"Would you two just stop?" Thank you, Six. Four and Eric look at each other one more time before going back to their respective locations.

"Well, now that you two are done being children, we're in agreement that we'll try to have Will warn Abnegation," I say, "Beyond that, we have to find other people we can trust to help us."

"Just about everyone at our table would help," Four says.

"We'll approach them one by one. Here, though. Anywhere else isn't safe; the whole compound is constantly monitored. Other than that, we can't do much else."

"Alright." Four and Six get up and head out the door. As they leave, I just lean into Eric and sigh. The day isn't even half over and I've gone from complete ecstasy to absolute stress. Eric just turns on the TV and we let the drone of it distract us. After a while, I hear a knock at the door.

"I'm here to kidnap you," Coraline says with a grin.

"Eric, I'm being kidnapped," I call into the living room.

"You'll be fine!" I guess he understands that I need time with friends.

"Then I'll see you later. Love you." And Coraline and I are headed out the door.

"Where are we going?" I really want to know what we'll be doing.

"We're going to grab some lunch somewhere fun and then we're going to talk." She leads me over to a pizza place and, once we're seated, leans in.

"So, tell me all about your morning glow."

"This is embarrassing…"

"So you guys did do it!" I don't think she's going to stop laughing anytime soon.

"Yeah, we did." Do I always have to turn red?

"Finally! So, tell me what it was like to finally leave virgin territory." Her smile indicates that she expects something really dirty.

"It was…great. Really great. I've never felt more…complete…than I did at that moment." I can't look at her while saying this. She's squealing.

"So cute! How many times?" I'll never survive this conversation.

"Twice…"

"That's less than I was expecting. I thought you guys would go at it like rabbits once you started." She's not secretly a dirty old man. She truly is just a dirty old man.

"Sorry my sex life is so disappointing! What about you and Alex? How far have you two gone?" I haven't been monitoring their progress as much as before. Fear serum doesn't exactly make for the most romantic atmosphere.

"He doesn't want to yet. Amity was all free-love, so I don't see why we should have any reservations. But he thinks it's better to wait. Plus, it's hard to find enough privacy when you share a room with six other people."

"Don't you mean seven?"

"Well, you don't sleep there anymore, so six." She has her grin back.

"Alright, our sex lives aside, is there anything else going on?"

"Oh, let me tell you all about the latest Tranfer gossip…" And we're laughing away and eating pizza. I've really missed our friendship. It was smothered by fear serum before, but now everything is fine again. But I won't be able to let her in on everything that's happening. I can't do that to her and Alex; we're all so inexperienced, we won't do much good, anyway. I almost question how much I can help, beyond planning. But I won't have Eric go anywhere without me. I try to pull my mind back to what we're talking about. I can't do any more right now, so I shouldn't worry.

"Pizza's finished. Want to walk around?"

"Sure." We head out and start to walk around the Pit. As we do, we come across the chasm where Kayla is climbing onto the railing. Shit, Kayla is climbing onto the railing!

"Coraline, get help," I say and Coraline runs off down the way we came. I slowly approach Kayla.

"Kayla! Kayla, what're you doing?" She looks over at me in surprise.

"I don't belong here…" She looks like she's been crying and her face is contorted with pain. Based on the way she's been talking, she may have been drinking, too.

"Yes you do!" I call out to her. "You belong in Dauntless."

"No, I don't! I've been at the bottom since I started! You don't understand…" She's looking at the water below. This can't be happening.

"That can change! Training isn't over yet; there's still one more stage." I'm almost close enough to get her…

"Tell Jeremy I'm sorry." She spreads her arms out and falls backward, just like I did on the day of the Choosing Ceremony. But this time, there's no net to catch her. I rush forward, but I miss her. I watch as she's swallowed up by the river. I don't know if I'm silent or screaming. Whichever it is, it doesn't matter; this is the second time I couldn't save someone.

**A/N: Things are finally picking up now. Anyway, if this fanfic does well, I may do a follow-up sequel ^_^ No guarantees that everyone who's in here right now will still be alive by the end :p So, if anyone dies, no one can say "But you said they'd all live!" I am a George R.R. Martin fan, after all ;)**


	26. Chapter 25

Jeremy doesn't scream or anything as they remove Kayla's body from the river and that has me worried. I wouldn't feel this way if he were showing some emotion, but right now he seems…deadened. As if Kayla had jumped, but he was the one who passed. He didn't even react when I passed along Kayla's last words. Coraline and I look at each other and I know we agree that he can't be left alone.

"Thanks…for trying." I didn't even notice Ashley walk up to us.

"I'm sorry." I know my words are worthless, but it's the only thing I can say to her. I'd tried and failed. She simply nods.

"I'm going to Jeremy." She knows that he can't be left alone, too. Sam is already with him, one arm slung along Jeremy's shoulder. Sam's shed a few silent tears so far, but he seems to know that he has to be Jeremy's support. Come to think of it, he was Ashley's main support for Darren; that's how they got together. First Darren and now Kayla; their group just keeps getting smaller and smaller…

"Let's get out." Coraline starts to tug on my hand and I follow her. As we're walking, we run into Six.

"I heard about what happened. You two okay?" Her eyes have that shadow they had the first time she described the Chasm to us. I guess she's reliving an old memory with this.

"Been better," Coraline says. I can't say anything at all. I don't want to feel what's happened.

"Why don't you two come with me," Six says with a small smile. She turns around and Coraline and I follow her to the tattoo parlor. Six leads us to the back and through the door and we're standing in a kitchen. Tori comes through another door.

"I have guests," she says with some surprise. I guess she lives at the shop.

"Tori, do you think you can make some peppermint tea?"

"Sure." Tori starts to move around the kitchen. She didn't ask questions, so I assume word has been spreading as to what happened.

"You two should know, the Dauntless are going to hold the funeral as soon as possible," Six says. I guess she wants us to be prepared. A funeral just makes Kayla's death all the more real.

"What's a Dauntless funeral like?" Coraline asks; I'm rather curious, too. Erudites typically highlight the deceased's accomplishments via slideshow. We haven't had any recent suicides I know of, though, discounting among the elderly. But we don't really consider that suicide, because most have been given some death sentence by that point, anyway; we just try to usher them off with less pain.

"Everyone drinks and we glorify the deceased's bravery. In this case, Kayla's bravery to choose to explore the unknown."

"But that wasn't it. She was terrified and alone…" Why didn't I do a better job of convincing her? Why couldn't I reach her damn hand?

"But that's the way Dauntless is. Every death is an act of courage here…" I can see the apology in Six's eyes. I guess she feels the same way.

"I don't think I'll go," Coraline says, "I don't want to see her death into a party."

"Same. I don't think I can stomach that." I can't go where people will be drinking and laughing and celebrating the fact that Kayla chose to die. Six just nods and Tori passes us our tea. It smells wonderful and is nice and warm. I take a sip and find that the taste is soothing; like as I drink, it's slowly washing away the pain.

"You two can stay here if you want," Tori says. She's such a nice person to let, for the most part, random strangers stay in her home.

"No, thank you, though." I don't want to intrude and I would rather be somewhere more familiar.

"I'll go with Audrey," Coraline says and we both get up.

"Be strong you two," Six says with a sad smile. Tori smiles at us, too, and we leave the way we came.

"Where to now?" Coraline looks at me. I didn't really think about it.

"The dorms? The Dining Hall? Anywhere but the Pit."

"The dorms, then."

Once we get there, we find Alex waiting for us.

"I've been looking everywhere for you guys. I figured you'd come here eventually." He hugs us both and takes Coraline's hand. That's when I realize where I really want to go.

"Coraline, can I leave you with Alex?" I need Eric right now.

"We'll come with you." Coraline looks concerned. She must think I'm not doing well. But their company would actually be welcome. I hope Eric doesn't mind guests.

"Alright. Let's go." I head over to the apartment just to find Eric on his way out.

"Where are you going?"

"The funeral. A leader gives the eulogy and I was overseeing training of you all, anyway." So he's the one who has to sing the praises of her death to the crowd.

"We're going to stay here for a while." I don't want to hear the eulogy. I don't want to see the drunk faces of the crowd who didn't even know her.

"Alright, wait for me." He kisses me and heads over to the Pit as we go into the apartment.

"Nice love nest," Coraline says. She's trying and I appreciate it. General conversation seems like a nice change from what is outside.

"Should I put on a movie?" I don't even know if Eric has movies, but I want some distraction. And even better, it can block out any noise that wells up from the Pit. I want to hear what's going on down there about as much as I want to see it.

"Sure." I turn on the TV and find that in the main menu there's a movie collection. I throw on the one that was watched the most recently, Fight Club, and sit down on the couch along with Alex and Coraline. We comment on the whole thing; what looks awesome, what could never happen, and I try not to think of the Pit. The movie seems like it's going to end soon when Eric walks in. He doesn't say anything; he just sits down beside me and puts his arm around me.

"My favorite movie," he says, giving me a kiss. I'm glad he doesn't mention where he's been.

"You know, I think this constitutes as a double date," says Coraline with a smile.

"Why are you here?" They seem to be getting along well; better than I expected. Coraline laughs and we watch the last moments of the film.

"We're going to leave so you two can be alone," Coraline says with a smirk, "Don't forget to wrap any presents." She laughs and practically runs out the door with Alex.

"Is she always like that?" Eric asks as he watches her leave like he just saw some bizarre, new creature.

"She's usually worse," I say with a smile.

"Interesting friends," he says, turning away from the door.

"Glad you like them." I give him a kiss.

"Never said that," he says, pulling me onto his lap.

"But that's what you're thinking." I kiss along his jawline to his neck and nip it. I want to ask myself why I'm doing this when none of it will matter soon, but I don't. If I'm going to run out of time, I'll live like there's no tomorrow.

"Just be quiet." He pulls my mouth up to his and I'm completely entranced by him. I move so I'm straddling him like I love to do and he's moving his hands down to my waist, pulling me in more. I don't know how he can, but he stands up while grabbing my ass to hold me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me over to the room. He lays me down and my hands are completely entangled in his hair. He slides his hands over to my shirt and before I know it, it's off and so is his. He's moved hands to my jeans when my breath catches and I pause.

"Eric…" He immediately removes his hand and stops moving.

"What's wrong?" He looks worried, but my hesitation isn't from anything he's done. I just can't bring myself to do this today; not after what I've seen. So much for living with no tomorrow.

"I just can't today…" Damn my stupid apprehension. He nods and just moves from on top of me to by my side and pulls me into an embrace. I finally let the tears that I've repressed all day fall.

"It's fine. Let it out. God, I pamper you too much." I laugh at that last sentence; I guess he does let me get away with a lot by his standards. I just stay there and let the rhythm of his breathing lull me to sleep.

**A/N: Finally going to sleep, beautiful people. Thursday may be difficult, because I work a double shift and won't have much time for writing. But I will fight! Also, Friday will be a late update, because I have a 6 hour train ride with no wifi :( But there should be an update that night or Saturday morning, depending on how badly the train is delayed. Good night ^_^**


	27. Chapter 26

I wake up to Eric trying to slowly squirm his way out from under me.

"What're you up to?" You'd think he was trying to escape a morning after.

"Trying to not wake you up. I have an early leadership meeting." He fully slides out of bed, no longer concerned about my rest and starts dressing.

"Any idea what it's about?" I'm already fairly sure of what it's about based on his face.

"They said a 'confidential' issue." So it is about what's going on. I nod. He already knows that I want to know what happens without me saying so.

"I don't know when it'll end, so don't wait up for me. Don't forget to get up for training, last stage starts today." I groan. I was enjoying the break and I don't know what we're in for now. I really don't want to see what's next. So far, the stages have been progressively worse and I can't think of anything worse than Fear Serum.

"See you later, I love you."

"I love you, too." He heads out the door and I'm left alone in the apartment. I look over at the clock and see it's only 3 in the morning; the meeting must be extremely important for them to be calling in all the leaders this early. Maybe they'll finally reveal their plan. I turn over and fall asleep, trying to keep my mind from imagining too much.

I wake up for a second time and roll out of bed, getting dressed. I head out the door and over to the Dining Hall for some breakfast. Once I sit, Six addresses Coraline, Alex, and me.

"Don't leave the hall. We're going somewhere new today." I wonder where our next stage of training will be. We nod and then Christina seems to remember something.

"Hey Six, what was it you wanted to ask me?"

"If you and Will could go out with Four and I later." They seem to be the next additions to our slowly growing rebellion.

"You're finally going to go on a double date!" Christina seems overjoyed by this. I hope she doesn't mind the real reason too much. After a while, Four and Six get up and so do we.

"Transfers. We're doing something different today," Four says, "Follow us." And like ducklings following their parents, we all trail after Four and Six as they lead us higher and higher up the Pit. We're even higher than the level Eric's apartment is on. As we climb, I notice that Four will look just about anywhere but down; I wonder if he has a problem with the height. We keep climbing until we're standing on the glass that I thought was a roof; turns out it's just a larger room where two Dauntless are currently walking along a pair of ropes suspended along the ceiling. There's a small crowd below cheering them on as they do different things such as cartwheels, flips, and jumping between the ropes. We walk past to a concrete room with fluorescent bulbs that's covered in graffiti.

"This is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape," says Six, "It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it."

"Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears," Four continues, "The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it." Since everyone else will know what's happening, I don't have to hold back anymore. At least that's one less source of stress for me to worry about.

"The number of fears you have in your land scape varies according to how many you have," Six says. I wonder how many I'll have or how they even decide that.

"I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation," Four says, that day feels so long ago. Like it happened in another life. "That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body—to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head." So it all comes together in the end; this is like the final exam to see the end results of our training.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders," Six says, "That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?" Everyone nods; this is going to be the test that determines whether or not we're going to stay in Dauntless. Nothing else before this matters as much as that moment. Then again, not much after it may matter either. I have to stop being morbid, but that's probably the way it will be.

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." Four says, "So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them." I wonder which I'll choose. I've always found it easier to reassure myself that whatever's happening isn't real and relaxed enough to get out, with only one exception. But will it be easier to use strength than wit? I'll probably use a mix of the two techniques.

"Wait, what if someone has more fears than someone else," Elizabeth says, "That's not fair; they have an advantage."

"You want to know what's not fair," Ashley spits back at her, "That you're still here." Ashley really has grown lately; I don't think she'd ever have done that back when we started. Even Six seems to appreciate what Ashley's just said.

"Dauntless is based on fearlessness. Deal with it," Four says and he leads us out of the Fear Landscape room.

We head out and it seems like we're going to do strength exercises all day today; I've gotten used to it. If you don't practice basic things like running and shooting, you'll degrade. I can't afford to degrade. These are skills that keep a person alive in a fight. We're finally dismissed for dinner and Eric still hasn't appeared. He doesn't show up for dinner and I'm starting to get worried. Did something happen? A normal meeting shouldn't take this long. I decide that it would probably be best for me to wait at the apartment; someone's going to need to be there for Four, Six, Will, and Christina, anyway. I go in just to find him sitting on the couch with a beer in hand. I sit down next to him and pull him in for a kiss until I remember how I was panicking.

"You had me worried," I say with some annoyance.

"You shouldn't worry," he says, "I'm not going on a suicide mission anytime soon." And he pulls me in for another kiss.

"We're having guests again today," I say, pulling out of the kiss, "Will and Christina will be joining us with Four and Six at some point."

"I'll save the news for then." We kiss again and I find myself slipping under his spell when I pull away once more.

"I'd rather not be caught in a…compromising position." He just laughs and pulls me onto his lap and turns on the TV. I guess that's his version of a middle ground.

"We're starting Fear Lanscapes." He probably already know, but I want to see if he'll tell me about his.

"When I was an initiate, they had us go through ours on the first day," he says, "I was the first one."

"How'd you do?"

"Fine. I didn't react; I just forced myself to relax." So he thought his way out; he definitely was Erudite.

"How many fears?"

"Twelve to start. By the end of training, it had gone down to eight." I wonder if that's good or bad.

"What's the average?"

"Ten to fifteen." He gives me a smug grin; so he beat the average.

"Did you have the least?" He sighs, his ego is a little deflated now.

"No. That would go to Four." I'm going to ask him how many he had when I make the connection with the name. Four: four fears. If Six's name has the same origins, then she has six fears. I knew these two were good, but I didn't know they were that good. I'm kept from asking about it anymore when I hear a knock on the door. I open it to see Four and Six with a very confused Will and Christina.

"Six, I thought we were going out…" Christina says. She's all dolled up and in a party dress; she's in for quite the surprise.

"Sorry, I had to get you over here somehow," Six says.

"Care to explain what's going on?"

"We need your help," I say, "Erudite and Dauntless are planning an attack on Abnegation."

"We're in," Christina says, "What do you need us to do?"

"To start, if Will could find a way to warn Abnegation, that would be great."

"I can," Will says, "I'm scheduled to go there in two days, anyway. It wouldn't be that hard, but what exactly should I tell them?"

"To be ready to evacuate as fast as possible if need be and to be careful. Now, Eric, what did you learn at the meeting?"

"The attack is going to be coming soon. Erudite is almost done with their preparations. The current timeline is within one to two weeks." One to two weeks; we don't have a lot of time.

"Is it possible to stop them before the attack," Six says, "Can we maybe record a meeting and present the evidence to the other factions?" I can understand her sense of urgency; stopping the attack the day of means that we could be too late for some people.

"Wouldn't work," Eric says, "The room we're in has no recording equipment and we're each scanned before we enter."

"Is there any physical evidence that exists right now?" Six asks.

"None that I know of."

"What about Erudite?" Four asks. "Is there anything that they might have?"

"They record everything," he says, "They could have something. The only problem is getting to it."

"I've been hacking Erudite software since before I could walk. The only problem would be getting into their compound and into the right computer." If they're keeping anything at the compound, it'll be in a well-guarded computer; Jeanine Matthews's would be the best bet. But hers will be much better guarded than any of the others; if the rumors are true, I will be risking my life by hacking in.

"Alright, I might be able to get you in with me," Will says.

"You'll never get in far enough," Eric says, "I can get you to the computer you need."

"And what's the excuse, then?"

"Family visit. We'll go tomorrow after training. It should be a short day." I guess it could work. We say we'll visit my mom and Eric's position as a leader can open any locked doors.

"Just in case, we'll need a contingency plan," I say, "If we don't get the information we need or are stopped, we're going to plan for stopping this probably the day of or just before. There'll actually be some evidence available then. Anything weird happens in Dauntless, we'll all meet up here and deal with it."

"You really are smart," Christina says, "Alright, plan's made." They all exit and I curl into Eric; for all I know, tomorrow will be our last day together.

"Let's go to the room," I whisper into his ear. He carries me the same way he did when I was knocked out and sets me down. He's already removing his shirt and I follow suit before bringing our mouths together as he climbs into the bed and on top of me. As we kiss, I place my hand on his chest and feel his heartbeat; I pray that it never ends. It's my anchor and I need it. He must notice my distraction, because he takes a moment to take my hand and kiss it. I entwine our fingers and kiss his hand, then let it go and move my hand to his face to bring it back to mine. He works my bra off and kisses his way down. The heat that rises from where he kisses is enough to make me gasp; I don't think I'll ever get used to his warmth. I roll us over and go to remove his pants. I intend to give back as much as I take. He gasps for air and I know he's feeling like I always do.

"Wait…" He pulls me up and kisses me, turns us over once again, and starts to remove what little clothing I have left.

"I can't be the only one having all the fun," he says and kisses all over my body and once more, his heat is rising from all over me, filling me up until I don't think I can take it anymore. I bring his face back to kiss it with all the passion I have within me. I hold onto him as we become one again and know that I will do anything I can tomorrow to make this my future.

**A/N: This one took so long, I've been writing all day :p**


	28. Chapter 27

"I'll wait for you in the glass room," Eric says, "Then I'll take you over to the Erudite compound." He gives me a kiss and I leave the apartment for training as if it were a normal day and not possibly the day I die. I have to stop thinking that way. I will win; I'll make sure I win and survive and have the life I want. I came here to be fire; it's about time I started acting like it.

After breakfast, we go back to the glass room just outside of the fear landscape room where we find Four, Six, Uriah, and Christina all waiting.

"Last year, I was afraid of moths, falling in the chasm, being kicked out of Dauntless, my family's death, becoming old, killing a dog, being attacked in the night, and…" Christina lets out a sigh, "Having my wardrobe destroyed." Well, she has built her livelihood around clothing; she has to have some attachment, I guess.

"Most of you will have ten to fifteen fears," Six says, "That's the average."

"What's the lowest record?" Parker asks.

"Four," Six says with a smirk. Everyone just stares in awe at Four and then back over at Six, coming to the realization that I did: they didn't just beat the average, they smashed it in half.

"You won't find out your number today," Christina says, "The program's been set to my landscape and you'll each experience one of my fears to get a sense of how the simulation works." She starts to assign her fears randomly; I'm going to be attacked in the night. I wait as the others go before me and I watch each of their reactions. Most cry in the simulation; a lot of these aren't fears in the scared sense, but fear in the dread sense it seems. The only ones to display any seemingly actual fear are Sam, Xandra, and Coraline who had moths, the chasm, and Christina's destroyed wardrobe respectively. Finally, it's my turn and I step inside.

I'm lying in a bed in the transfer dorms when I feel a pair of hands reach for me and hold me down while another hand goes over my mouth. I struggle, but they're too strong. They're two males that I don't recognize; one's muscular with orange-red hair and the other has dark hair and green eyes. The red-headed one is holding my arms down as the dark haired one leans over me.

"You didn't think I could just let you be better, did you?" He pulls out a butter knife and I know what's coming. This is what happened one year ago.

"I wonder which one I'll pick." He holds the knife above my face and hovers it over one eye, then the other, back and forth. I have to relax, I have to relax right now. I start with my muscles, I'm still tense and struggling, so I try to relax them first.

"I think this one." The butter knife is right above my right eye. "On the count of three."

"One." I get my breathing under control.

"Two." I try to slow my heartbeat.

"Three!" The butterknife comes flying for my eye, but right when it would have made contact, I've relaxed enough to break free of the landscape. The first thing I do is touch my eye to make sure it's fine; I know it was all fake, but that butter knife came in contact with my eye and if I could feel that, I don't want to know what I would have felt if I hadn't gotten out.

"Good job," Christina says as I exit, "Not many people are able to just relax."

"Who the hell were those two?" If I didn't know that had happened, I wouldn't have believed two people could do something so horrible and disgusting.

"Drew and Peter," she says, her face contorting with disgust.

"What happened to them?" I may not like Farewells, but I hope they got one.

"For that? Nothing," she says, "But Drew was cut off at the end of the third stage. Peter stayed, but he's far away at the fence now." That's just terrible; how the hell could a sociopath like that stick around. Then I remember what Eric had said when Darren was attacked; that it wasn't that simple. That there had to be proof. I guess they didn't have any on Peter and Drew.

With training finished, I prepare for my new task: breaking into easily the most defended computer in all of Erudite. I meet up with Eric outside the glass room and we head for the train tracks.

"Remember, when we get over there, it's for a family visit," Eric says, holding onto me as we ride the train.

"I know," I say, "I'll even stop by the hospital to see my mom."

"Not quite, there's something that I need to tell you about. I just wanted to wait on it."

"What do you mean?" What other family is there?

"We'll actually be seeing mine." I forgot he had family in Erudite.

"And who's this family?" What division are they in? Are they highly ranked, so we'll have an easier time getting in?

"Jeanine Matthews. My mother." I just stare at him in shock. I look at his face and try to find some trace of her in him and I can't, until I look at his eyes. They're not watery, but they're that same grey eyes that I've come to know better than my own. That's why he was so confident about his ability to get me in. He'd have no trouble getting close to Jeanine; she's his mother.

"We're breaking into your mom's computer…" I don't finish the rest. We're going to break into her computer to find incriminating evidence against her. We're going to find evidence that will probably get her arrested and worse. I am asking him to help me take down his mother.

"No, we're breaking into Jeanine's computer. You know I'm not into sentimentality." I press lips to his neck and hug him. Even if this is really the way he feels, I'm sorry for having him do this. But this is what needs to happen to end this war before it begins.

"Here's our stop," he says as he holds onto me and jumps. We're right outside the Erudite compound. He takes my hand and waltzes right in. The people at the front desk look up.

"Can I hel—"

"No," Eric cuts of the Erudite who was speaking to us and just marches over to the stairs. No one makes any effort to stop him; I don't know if it's from recognition or fear. Whichever one, it's working extremely well. We start climbing steps until we're at the very top of the compound. A thin woman with thick glasses and dark hair sits in front of a door with a hand scanner; I don't know how he intends to bullshit our way inside.

"Jeanine's out at the moment, can—"

Eric just strides across the room and up to the door.

"Sir, you can't go in!"

Eric just puts his hand up to the scanner and it beeps and opens. He really would have no problem getting me in. The woman stares at him with shock.

"Sir, Jeanine is—"

"Out, I heard you. We'll wait inside."

He pulls me in and the door shuts. I'm almost too stunned to move until I see the computer and head over to it, but I hesitate. Almost reading my mind, Eric speaks.

"There's no cameras in here. No one will know what you do." I immediately sit at the computer and try to force myself inside.

"Know how to get in?" If he does, this will be almost too easy.

"No. You're on your own for that. Be careful, I know that if something goes wrong, it's set to poison the room." I guess there's a limit to how much I can depend on him for. No pressure on the poison or anything.

I've just gotten started, but I'm already having trouble unlocking the computer itself. I don't know how she locked it, but it's obviously something she wrote herself. I don't know how much time I used up just getting through that part, but Eric just stands behind me, silent. I finally get into her data, but it's like climbing up a mountain covered in landmines. It just keeps getting harder and harder the further I go and every step holds the possibility of instant death. It's almost all serums; simulation serum, fear serum, death serum, even peace and truth serum. I keep going farther and farther, trying to find more, but there's barricade after barricade. That's when I finally find something interesting: control serum. This is it; this is the evidence we need! With something like this, all of Dauntless can be made into drones; the perfect soldiers for a war. They won't fear death, they won't hesitate, and they'll follow all commands. I need to get this out. I go to copy it, but then I hear the beep of the door. It's going to open and I will have failed. We will be killed. Eric closes the computer and pulls me into a deep kiss. As I look over at Jeanine Matthews in shock, I find that Eric has made the perfect cover; the look on my face is exactly that of someone who just got caught doing something they shouldn't do.

"Eric," she says, rather tense.

"Jeanine."

"To what do I owe the…pleasure?" She's looking us over and I can tell by her eyes that she's considering all the possibilities to exactly what we were doing.

"Jeanine, this is Audrey, my girlfriend." I can't help but blush as he says this; it's the first time he's ever said it even if it's to his homicidal mother.

"Charmed." She reaches out her hand and I shake it, smiling. I'm still supposed to be the happy, shy girlfriend, meeting the family. "That still doesn't tell me why you're here."

"You control every other aspect of my life, so I thought you'd want some input on this one." He smiles as he says it, but those words were a stab at her.

"Helping you succeed isn't controlling. And I don't have any complaints," she says, "Audrey Kilbourn: top of her class in school. Extremely intelligent, great potential to rise in Erudite; surprised everyone when she switched to Dauntless. Anything else?" I have no idea how she knows so much about me. Then again, she's supposed to be the most intelligent of the most intelligent. I can see her keeping track of others who she can see as useful. I also want to know what she meant by helping him succeed.

"No, nothing else," Eric says, putting his arm around my waist and leading me out.

"Shall I have you sent back to Dauntless?"

"No."

"Good day, then. I hope you learned something today." It's a standard greeting to the Erudite, hoping that knowledge is bestowed upon another. But the way she says it, she knows exactly what's going on.

As we're leaving, I think over everything I've just learned. Jeanine is finishing up a control serum; that's how they're going to get total Dauntless participation. We have to either stop its distribution or stop the simulation itself. Stopping the distribution will be extremely difficult; they obviously won't say exactly what it is, nor is there any evidence, so it would be our word against the leaders'. Stopping the simulation would mean finding where they were running it from and stopping it. This is probably the best option. At least, it doesn't carry an almost 100% mortality rate. If I go against leadership by stopping the serum, I'll probably be branded a fanatic and silenced. If I destroy the computer making the simulation, I just have to get past whatever security they have and disable it. It'll be dangerous and if I fail, Abnegation is done for. But it's the only option that has even the smallest chance of working.

Once we're on board the train, I sigh.

"We were so damn close…" All I had to do was copy the information!

"We're not totally empty handed. We know what's coming."

"We're going to need more help. It's a serum; the more people we have with Divergence, the better. So even if it's enacted, we can still stop it before anything really terrible happens. You, Christina, and Will need to stay out if it's distributed." I'm going to have to count on Four and hope that whoever he finds trusts us. I also hope that if it's enacted, those three and everyone else under its influence stay out of the way.

"I won't need to; I doubt they'd give it to leadership…" I feel like there's something more.

"What're you leaving out?"

"It wouldn't work anyway…" It finally clicked. This is why he's Dauntless with some glaring Erudite traits. This is why he saw through to what I really was. Because we're the same. I'm just learning everything about him today, aren't I.

"You never said…" Why didn't he mention this before?

"You're literally the only person who knows." I don't know what to say.

"How…" How did no one find out? How did he find out? How has he hid it all this time?

"I knew about Divergence from Jeanine and I knew she wasn't above making me into an experiment, so I learned to be normal. She's the one who made the testing serum, so I had some inside knowledge; I knew how to get what I wanted. After that, I never thought of it again. And I haven't had to take any serums lately, so it wasn't an effort to hide it." He doesn't show any emotion as he says this; in fact, he looks like he doesn't care. But there was a point when he slightly tensed up before relaxing again; if he was experiencing any distress, he's very skilled in hiding it. I hold onto him; I don't hold it against him that he doesn't want me to know if it hurts. He would never admit to any weakness.

"We really are a perfect match," I say with a smile. I can tell that he probably doesn't want to talk about Jeanine and Divergence anymore.

"You're damn right," he says as he kisses me. I can't help but feel relieved that this isn't our last day together. That there wasn't any danger this time around. But I can tell that my luck is slipping and that's what I'm going to need to make it through.


	29. Chapter 28

I almost don't register that today is the day we go into our fear landscapes. Today is meant to be one of the most important days in my life, but it sounds so futile when I think of what's to come. But I still continue, like I have every day as I wait for the Erudite to finally finish the serum. Over the past few days, we perfected our plan. It's going to be a large gamble and if we fail, there will no longer be an Abnegation. What we'll have to do is wait for the serum to be distributed and for the system to begin. Four, Six, Uriah, Eric, and I will stay in Dauntless and look for where they're running the program; we've narrowed down the possible locations to the control room, the leadership's main room, and Max's office. It seems they won't have the program here until the day of, so we can only wait before then. We're going to have to work fast. The Erudite have described the simulation and everyone will be up and out of Dauntless within five minutes. The trains will take five minutes to reach the Abnegation sector. The Abnegation are to be rounded up within twenty minutes; resistance will be met with deadly force. After they're rounded up, they will all be fired upon. We have thirty minutes at best to stop the war.

I look at all the drunken faces that fill the Pit. They all seem so carefree, it's obvious they don't know what's coming for them. I try to not to focus too much on a single person. I head up to the glass room where all of us wait to be brought into our landscape; I have to wait for everyone else, because we're going in reverse order starting with the Dauntless-born. The range of emotions everyone distributes is the best distraction right now. Some pace the room. Others are sitting still as statues. A few people lean against the wall and play with their hands. I just lean with them and watch the door until I see Parker emerge; he was the last of the Dauntless-born. Max, Eric, and the female leader, Tiffany I think, congratulate him on completing his landscape. They usher in Sam and the door shuts.

Several minutes later, I hear a thud in the landscape room and the door bursts open. Tiffany lunges out and grabs a hold of Elizabeth while I see Eric drag out an unconscious Sam. Behind them, Max walks out with a look of rage I have never seen.

"Take these three away and restrain them now!" Max yells and two Dauntless take Elizabeth and Sam away. Eric turns to me and mouths "later." I really want to hear an explanation as to what happened. Max just points to Alex and waves him inside. Alex looks just as confused as we all are, but he still walks over and the door shuts yet again.

I don't know how long I wait when Coraline finally exits the room. She's sweaty and pale, but she gives me a small smile which I return. This is the last bit of suffering we have to endure to be Dauntless. I step into the room and Max and Tiffany stand back while Eric approaches me with a syringe of the serum.

"Kick ass." He plunges the syringe into my neck and I watch him as I slip away.

I find myself in the crystal clear waters of my first fear simulation. I know that the water will pull me down, so it's not difficult for me to relax as it tugs me further away from the light. I blink and find myself in a concrete room with two men and a bound Eric; it seems he's replaced my mother in the torture scenario. I guess my subconscious knows that this is the more likely scenario, so it hits me harder. I know I can't make it worse; to do that, I'd have to torture Eric. So I calm down. I watch as they approach him with pliers and concentrate on my breath, on my heartbeat, on anything but his screams. I blink again and I'm in the center of the Pit. The leaders stand around me in a circle. The crowd screams for my blood and Max approaches me. I'm not restrained; I could defend myself. But if I want to get out, I can't. I keep my hands at my sides as he throws his first punch. It makes contact and I'm propelled further into the simulation. I'm being hunted through the city by a band of Dauntless; this seems to be the new incarnation of the forest. My instincts tell me to run, but I stand still. They tell me to fight, but I just wait for them to close in on me. They tell me to panic, but I just stare down my attackers and challenge them to do it; they don't even touch me when it changes again. We're in the middle of the Pit again, but the focus isn't on me; it's on a woman in blue who's been forced to her knees. Her face is covered by a bag, but as they lift it, I see her hair; my hair. My mother just looks up at me and smiles the smile that greeted me every morning for sixteen years. Max hands me a gun.

"Dispose of the criminal," he says. I approach my mother with the gun in hand and continue to tell myself that this isn't real; that I'm not really killing my mother. But my simulation mom is so like the real thing.

"It's okay, Audrey. I love you." I don't know what to do with myself. I bring the gun up to her.

"I'm sorry." I pull the trigger and I find myself back in the landscape room. Is this another level? No, it's real; I can tell that this is real. Eric just stares at me in awe before giving me a smile and kissing me.

"You only had five," he whispers into my ear. I just kiss him back, happier to be out of the landscape than I am about the number of fears that I have. But I find myself counting to be sure; I really only had five. That's when I realize the other bit of sweetness in that number; I no longer hold any doubt about my relationship with Eric. Every fiber of my being has complete faith in him.

"Congratulations," Max says and I hope that the smile I give him looks natural, "We can't show this as enthusiastically as Eric, but that was an amazing landscape." I don't even want to be in his presence now that I know what exactly he's capable of, even if he's probably been manipulated into it.

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your day," he says, "Let's go. We have business to settle." Eric kisses me one more time before following Max and Tiffany out of the room. I wonder if they're going to deal with Sam and Elizabeth.

"You're out already! I only just left!" Coraline shouts with surprise. I guess she would be, since I'm only supposed to be half a minute faster. Alex just stares with his mouth open.

"Well, I've always been pretty good at test taking," I say with a laugh. This is my moment to celebrate, not think about a future I can't predict. We start to head over to the Dining Hall.

"How many fears did you guys have?" Alex asks, "Mine was ten."

"Twelve," Coraline says, "I guess I was in the middle. Audrey?"

"…Five," I say with a bit of a blush. They both just gape at me before Coraline breaks the silence.

"We're calling you Five from now on," she says with a laugh. I'm so happy at how easily they accepted it.

"You're definitely first," Alex says, "If you're not, it's rigged."

"Well, Five, shall we get some celebratory cake?" Coraline leads us over to the Dining Hall. Once we sit, we're bombarded with questions by everyone; they're so excited, it's almost overwhelming.

"Quiet!" Six shouts, "Alright, how'd you all do."

"I had twelve and Alex had ten and this one," Coraline says, now pointing to me, "Is hereby dubbed Five."

"You had five!" Uriah shouts with a laugh. I just nod and smile. Suddenly I feel someone come behind me and kiss me on the cheek.

"Mine did better than yours," Eric says to Four with a smirk.

"Too bad you didn't do better than either of them." They seem less like enemies and more like friendly rivals now. I'm happy for them.

"You got back fast," I say to Eric.

"Well, this time was extremely straight forward," he sighs and continues, "Sam's simulation was basically a confession."

"To what?" What was there for him to confess to?

"To Darren." Everyone is paying attention. That was supposed to have been settled a long time ago. And I can't see Sam doing anything; they were friends.

"What do you mean?" Four asks.

"In Sam's simulation, Ashley confronted him with the fact that he attacked Darren. Elizabeth helped and Jared was just a distraction." I don't understand why he would want to until I think of who confronted him: Ashley. He wasn't worried about getting caught by just anyone; he was worried about getting caught by Ashley.

"What's going to happen this time?" I ask even if I'm fairly sure of the answer.

"A Farewell to both. It's going to happen this evening," Eric says.

"What about Jared?" Coraline asks, "He was wrongly accused. Can he come back?" He may have been a terrible person, but he hasn't done anything illegal.

"No, he's already been made factionless," Eric says, "Even if we wanted him back, he's missed out on most of the initiation process." I wonder what it'll be like if those three ever run into each other again. Given Jared's nature, Elizabeth and Sam will be watching their backs from now on.

Everyone goes back to their own conversations, but we're all a little deflated. Coraline and Alex join hands and I even lean further into Eric; Darren was reminder that we may easily lose more people. At least those we lose this time will be able to walk out with the exceptions of Elizabeth and Sam. There's three more people that will be cut out of our initiate class and I don't want to think of who it might be.

Eric and I walk over to the apartment together. I'm about to head into the door when he kisses me.

"I'm only dropping you off," he says, "I have to go give Elizabeth and Sam their Farewell." That's why he immediately led me over to the apartment after dinner. I'm thankful for his consideration; Elizabeth and Sam will be getting what they deserve, but I don't think I can ever see that crowd without being reminded of my landscape.

"Hurry back." I give him a kiss and he shuts the door. I head over to the couch and throw on Sucker Punch and turn the volume up; I want to make sure the movie is the only thing I hear. The credits roll and Eric comes inside.

"Congrats again." He kisses me and I can't help but smile again.

"You're guaranteed a spot in Dauntless. Want to celebrate?" We've never actually gone out somewhere together before; I really want to spend some time with him somewhere different.

"Sure." I go to change my clothes and come out again in a short button down shirt that exposes my midriff and a tight black skirt along with some pumps. I'm going to the bathroom to put on make-up when Eric starts to pull me to the door.

"It's been ten minutes," he says, "And you're already beautiful enough without it." I smile and go along with him.

"Where are we going?" I wonder where I'm being dragged off to.

"Now that we're out, you pick." I was hoping he had planned something. Well, where do I want to go? This is to celebrate me essentially becoming Dauntless; becoming fire. I know exactly what I want to do to commemorate this.

"Let's go to the tattoo parlor."

I describe to Six exactly what I want and she brings it to life. It's the eye of Erudite in Dauntless flames surrounded by a circle made of water that changes into fire and back again. Eric doesn't make any comment on my choice, he just watches as Six etches it into my back. I also take the time to get another two more piercings in each of my ears and purchase a pair of topazes and rubies; my parent's birth stones.

"Anywhere else?" Eric asks, kissing one of my new piercings.

"How about we go to the club?" I haven't been there in so long, I miss feeling the music resonate within me. I don't mix that night, I just spend my time with Eric. This time is definitely better than the last one. By the time we're done, it's extremely late in the night and we're both tired.

"Thanks for the celebration." I kiss him as we walk back.

"You can thank me better than that." He pulls me in and our kiss deepens. But I really do want to thank him. He's the only thing that can make me forget about all the problems around us.

"Then I'll have to thank you properly." We head to the apartment and I find myself thinking about how far we've come. Ever since the first flirting exchange on the roof, I've been falling for this man. Before I knew it, I loved him. And even with all the drama and danger, I wouldn't change anything.

**A/N: Calm before the storm! Also, I had to ride a train for 6 hours in order to get back to my campus :P If there's any small gramatical errors, it's because I'm tired...**


	30. Chapter 29

"Come on, they're finally posting the ranks!" Coraline shouts as she drags me to the center of the Pit. It's just as loud as it was yesterday and I think everyone is, somehow, even more drunk. It's usually not like this, we were supposed to have the ranks yesterday. The Farewell pushed everything back; it's rather hard to have a celebration and a lynch mob at the same time. But now, we're finally going to see where we all stand. I look and see Eric standing on a table in front of the board. He's holding a microphone and continuously tapping it with a fingertip; I have to admit, he can sometimes be a little much.

"Here at Dauntless, we don't usually do speeches; words are for Candor, we speak with action. And the actions of this year's newest initiates speaks for them. They fought through each stage of training until finally facing their fears. And now, a select few will be made new members. To those initiates, we congratulate you. We also expect you all to act with bravery, fearlessness, and with the force to drive the bad out of the world so the good can prosper. So, in their first act as Dauntless, our newest members will choose a career that lets them best display those ideals. But to do that, we need to know the rankings, which is what everyone's waiting for." Eric smirks. "They are determined by a combination of three scores: the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear right behind me." And on cue, the names and faces start to appear.

1. Audrey

2. Xandra

3. Parker

4. Coraline

5. Jeremy

6. Ashley

7. Greg

8. Alex

9. Milo

10. Sera

I feel Coraline wrap her arms around me, laughing as she screams with joy; we all made it. We're finally Dauntless. I see Jeremy and Ashley standing together in the crowd, Jeremy with his arm around her shoulder. I'm glad that they made it through; they've already been through enough without being separated from each other, too. Alex runs over and dips Coraline in a kiss, making her red; it's nice to see the tables have turned. She punches his shoulder before laughing and kissing him. It's almost too cute. Four and Six walk over next.

"So, now that you three are no longer initiates," Six says, "Call me Tris." She hugs and congratulates each of us.

"Do we get to learn your name, too?" Alex asks Four with a laugh.

"No, but I won't be yelling at you anymore," Four says with a smirk, "That seems like enough of a reward." I don't know if I'll be able to get used to Four being…normal. A pair of hands spin me around and I feel someone's lips on mine; it's Eric.

"I told you; guaranteed spot," He says with a laugh, "Any idea what job you'll get?" I hadn't thought about that. I'm sure I want to DJ, but that's not a full-time job; Becca makes it work by running the whole club.

"I know I'll DJ, but I don't know what career I'll go for."

"I want to steal Four's job!" Coraline shouts, "It'll be so fun to throw everything we got right back at some newbies!"

"I think I'll go into weapon making," Alex says, "The forges here are pretty cool."

"I didn't ask about you two," Eric says. He definitely likes them. "But you have less then twenty-four hours to decide. Think fast." What exactly do I want to do? I know I'd probably do well in leadership, but I don't know if that'll work out with our semi-rebellion. Maybe I'll go to the control room with Four; I'm good with technology, anyway. Suddenly, Max takes the place where Eric was.

"Congratulations, again, to the newest members. Now, we have some Erudites here who will be giving everyone a transmitter. It's a precaution for if anyone ever goes missing. This is especially important for those who go to the fence." I find that all the exits have an Erudite at them and there are a few at each table. Some people in the crowd grumble, but they all start to head over to an Erudite. I just gape at them all; this wasn't supposed to happen yet.

"They weren't supposed to be done yet," Eric whispers in my ear. It doesn't matter now what was supposed to happen, this is what's happening now. I look around, unable to decide how to act. Eric just puts on a smile and leads me right over to an exit.

"I think we're fine," he says with a smirk. So he's going to hide my Divergence even when we fight back. The Erudite blocking the way just lets him through. As soon as we're out, the smile slides off his face and is replaced with a look of determination. We go to the apartment and wait. Soon enough, Christina, Will, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Shauna, Zeke, Four, and Six all come in. The one thing no one tells you about planning a rebellion is that you need to invest in seating.

"Was anyone able to get out of it?" If anyone else is able to help, that would be even better.

"No," Will says, rubbing the injection site, "We were all stuck there." Dammit, I was hoping someone would have been able to flow out of the crowd. There's no way around it now; we'll just have to hope that none of them get in our way.

"Then we continue with the plan. They plan to start the program in the early morning. We'll all be prepared, so once the compound is empty, we have twenty-five minutes to destroy the program. All five of us meet here; it's near all three target locations. The first one we'll come across is leadership's main room. The second is the control room. Last is Max's office. Speed and precision will be the main focus." Everyone nods and heads out the door. We don't need more words; we've been over this a thousand times.

We all go about our day like it's normal. I plaster a smile on my face and go to the Dining Hall with Eric, hand in hand. I laugh when everyone laughs. I nod and pretend I'm listening to the conversation. But deep inside, I can hear the tick of an invisible timer counting down the moments until everything falls apart. Once we're back in the apartment, we don't need any words. We both know that there are a thousand things that can go wrong tomorrow. I dedicate myself to remembering everything. The feeling of his hair wrapped in my hands. The warmth of his lips as they're pressed against my own. His muscular body pressed against mine. The way I feel as we're together. These are things that I have to hold onto for dear life. They are what I'll be gambling tomorrow. We don't even sleep; we just lay together counting off the moments.

"I love you." He kisses my forehead.

"I love you, too." I try to stay as close as possible to him.

"We have to get up. It's going to start soon." I do as he says and we both get dressed silently. When we're done, we head out of the apartment and I look at the Pit. All of Dauntless is up and moving; it reminds me of ants the way they're all following pre-ordained lines. Now that we know for sure that the program has begun, we head back inside and wait for everyone else. Four and Six arrive first. Last is a breathless Uriah.

"Sorry," he says, "I kind of tied down Marlene…" We understand; none of us want to run into a familiar face today.

"It's fine. We have thirty seconds before the compound is, for the most part, clear." We start to count down the seconds. Eric pulls me close.

"Sorry about this," I feel a pinch in my leg. I look down to see he's injected me with something. I start to feel dizzy. He lowers me onto the couch.

"What did you do?!" Tris shouts.

"I'm not bringing her along! She's knocked out for now." How dare he leave me behind?! Shit, the edges of my vision are going blurry.

"Let's go." Eric says and he takes point followed by Uriah, then Four, with Six in back watching the rear. I watch as they each exit, leaving me on the couch. I try to force myself to move, to get up, to stay awake, but it's so difficult. My eyes are heavy; they shut and I can't seem to open them.

**A/N: A little shorter than usual. Enjoy the suspense, mwahahahaha!**


	31. Chapter 30

The first thing I do is open my eyes. It feels like they've been glued shut, but I fight them open. I slowly regain control of my body. As soon as I can move, I roll off the couch and try to stand. I feel like a child taking their first steps, I'm so shaky. I move over to the clock and see that twelve minutes have gone by There's only eight left now; I guess Eric guessed the wrong dose. I make my way to the door and head to the first spot: the main room. I grip the wall to hold myself up and slowly ascend the compound. As I approach, I find two bodies lying in the hall; I don't look to see who they were, I just go in. There's nothing inside except for tables and chairs; a bust. I head over to the control room. As I move, I see a figure coming from the hallway; the way they move, I can tell that they're not under a simulation. As they get closer, I see that it's a blond woman in grey carrying a gun; this is probably the first and last time I'll see an Abnegation member with a weapon. Then I can see her face, it's Tris' mother.

"I'm here to help," she says. The way she holds her weapon, her stance, everything about her tell me that she has to have been Dauntless.

"I'm headed to the control room. That's where it should be." I've regained enough control to run now, albeit with a few stumbles every now and then. We get closer and I can see the evidence of multiple fights. Dead bodies, bullet casings lining the ground, and so much blood. I hope that none of them were injured. We're almost there when two Dauntless approach from another hallway; they're obviously under the effects of the serum. Natalie doesn't say anything when she opens fire. I realize that I have to do the same. I take aim and glaze over their faces. They are targets; human shaped targets. I don't have time for guilt. We get closer and closer and more just keep coming. I can't help but count: eight. I have had to shoot eight peo—targets. We're almost there when three more approach and I can't help but recognize one. I would be able to pick out that black hair and hazel eyes anywhere in a crowd. I can't do this anymore. I can't aim at the face that has smiled with me so many times. That teased me through my romance. That I have called "friend" since the first day here. I am powerless against Coraline.

"Coraline!" Please let this work. She doesn't show any recognition. She doesn't register me at all. She lifts her gun.

"Coraline, stop!" She points it at me.

"Coraline, please!" I'm crying and I don't know what to do. Natalie just shoves me out of the way.

"Don't look." She fires two shots and I see one hit Coraline in her right arm and the other hit her leg. "She won't be able to move and if she can feel anything she'll be in a lot of pain, but she shouldn't bleed out for a while."

"Thank you." I recollect myself and try not to look at Coraline as we pass her by. I wouldn't be this bothered if she were screaming, if she showed some recognition of being hurt. But she just slowly tries to crawl and pursue us. I hope that she'll stop making herself bleed out. We finally burst into the control room and I'm not ready for what I see. Uriah is on the ground with his hands over his stomach; I'm sure he's been shot. Six is doing her best to help Uriah, but from what I can see, it's no good. He's starting to turn pale. Eric has his gun pointed to the doorway, waiting. Four is working at a computer; on it I can see that the Dauntless have caught onto us. There's a pack headed to where we are. Six runs over to Natalie.

"Mom!" She hugs her mother, "Mom, I need help; he's bleeding too much…" They both rush back to Uriah's side and Natalie begins to examine him. Eric just strides right over to me and slaps me before pulling me into a hug.

"You idiot, why did you come here!" He holds me so tight, I don't even know if I'm able to breath. I don't care if I can't.

"I wasn't just going to wait!" We let go and watch the door again. I can see at least four Dauntless coming our way.

"Any time now, Four!" Eric calls out. Shit, Jeremy's in the pack. I head over to the computer.

"I'm working on it!" They're coming closer and I aim for the person next to Jeremy and wait; I just can't fire at him. They start to raise their weapons and come closer. My finger is on the trigger and I really don't want to do this. Four suddenly shouts from the computer.

"It's done!" Jeremy and the rest suddenly stop, look at each other, and drop their guns.

"What the fuck! What the fuck is going on!"

"I killed them! Oh God, I killed them!"

"This is a dream! Wake up, dammit! Wake up!"

They're all panicking and there's nothing we can. One of them suddenly picks up their guns and aims it at us.

"Was this you?! Did you do this?!" I didn't think of this part when I made the plan. I was too concerned with stopping the program than with dealing with the aftermath.

"It was the leadership and Erudite!" Eric shouts, pointing his gun, "Now put that down!" The man just starts breathing heavily and swears. Then he puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger.

Everything is a mess now. The first thing we did was untie a rope-burned Marlene and have her attend to Uriah and Coraline. Most of the Dauntless come back to the compound demanding answers. The few who chose to stay with Max and the other leaders retreat to Erudite. As they come in, it sounds even worse than it did during the Farewell. There's so much pain and rage and fear. When most of them are inside, Four climbs up on a table and everyone quiets down a bit with a few people shouting for information.

"We've been used!" Four shouts, "The leaders of Erudite and Dauntless decided to use us for their own personal gain to eradicate Abnegation!" There are screams of rage from the crowd, but Four puts up his hands and they quiet down again.

"We will not be their puppets! We will elect new leaders, we will rebuild, and we will have justice!" The screams of rage turn to shouts of approval.

"You!" Someone shouts and part of the crowd starts screaming "Four" over and over again, but he just shakes his head.

"I want nothing to do with leadership. But I will elect Audrey." Me? "She was brave enough to set the plan to stop all this in motion." Suddenly, the Pit fills with my name instead. Can I be a leader? I want to rebuild Dauntless, I want to save my new home. I will help lead it. I nod and Four pulls me up on top of the table to the cheers of the Dauntless. After that, I'm joined by Tori and a man named Harrison. Tori raises her hands.

"We're going to say goodbye to our dead before we go after our criminals," she says. She's met with a mixture of shouts of both dissent and approval. But I agree, we're too disorganized right now to properly do anything. It's better if we fix ourselves, first. That night, I try not to think of the funeral. Tori gave the eulogy, but I still can't let it go. I know that at least eight of those names I heard belonged to people I killed. Natalie comes up to me; she's staying at the compound for now; it's dangerous to travel right now with everything in an uproar.

"You know, I really missed the cake," she says, handing me a plate of it, "That's probably the only regret I have about leaving."

"The cake is pretty good." The smile on her face is so contagious that I'm smiling, too.

"Don't think about it too much. You did what you was needed to survive." She puts an arm around my shoulder and gives me a small hug.

"Thank you." I get up because I want to be alone for a moment. The way she hugged me reminded me too much of my own mother; I want to know how she's doing. I head back over to the control room, trying to ignore the blood stains that appear in my mind as I walk the halls. I won't be able to see her, but I can see the area around her. I go in to find Eric already there, sitting in a chair, and watching a certain screen; it's of the Erudite section. I walk up behind him and put my arms around him. He tenses up, but relaxes again when he sees it's me.

"Did I surprise you?"

"Yes and no," he says, "I just figure some people may come for me sooner or later."

"Why would they? You stopped this."

"But I helped start it, too." He's right. He was involved before and it makes a difference. No one's done anything to him, outright, but everyone is keeping their distance. I move to his lap and hold onto him as we watch the screens. I don't ask why he's watching. He may just be doing surveillance on the Dauntless traitors. Or he may have come here for the same reason that I did. But I feel that it's not my place to ask right now. It's when I'm looking at the cameras that a thought strikes me.

"Eric, do the Erudite do surveillance?"

"They could. It's not impossible." He seems to come to the same conclusion I do, because we're both on our feet and heading to the Pit. I find Tori and Harrison and tell them about how we're being watched. The Erudite will know our numbers now.

"We have to take out the cameras," Tori says.

"How will we break them all?" Harrison says. He's right. We can't just go up and dismantle them all. Even if we shoot them all with guns, it would be difficult. We could cover them, but what can we use. Then I remember: the paintball guns.

"We don't need to break them," I say, "We just need to cover them. Who's up for a Dauntless-wide paintball game?" Tori and Harrison smile, catching onto the plan.

"I think we just might get some participation," Tori says with a smirk. She announces the plan to all of Dauntless and everyone starts to grab paintball guns and ammunition. Everyone starts firing at the cameras until, after a while, there's only none left. Most everyone still has some ammunition, so people start firing at one another. It starts as a shot here and there and escalates until everyone is shooting at anything that moves. All the walls of the compound are splattered with paint and everyone in Dauntless is now a mix of fluorescent colors. I almost can't believe all that's happened today. We've gone from firing bullets at each other to firing paint. But this is Dauntless; we move on quickly.

**A/N: I could probably split this into another story somewhere along the way, but I won't out of laziness. This'll end when I feel everything is resolved. Even then, I'll probably do a fluffier spin-off or add omakes...or both ^_^**


	32. Chapter 31

"Welcome, glorious leader," Coraline says with a weak smile. She's finally woken up after three days of pain killers. Alex stayed with her the whole time.

"I caught her up on everything," he says.

"Dauntless for less than a day and you're already running the place," Coraline says with a laugh, "Think you can pull some strings and get me out of here?"

"You haven't even been awake for half an hour and you're already sick of it?" She's still the same Coraline.

"Hell yeah! There's nothing here!"

"Well, until you can stand, you're not leaving," Alex says with a smile.

"You can't stop me from stealing a wheelchair and rolling out," she says with a smirk.

"We'll tie you down if we have to." I say with a grin.

"Believe them when they says that!" I hear Marlene call out as she passes by.

"Fine," Coraline says with a pout, "But I expect cake in exchange for my suffering."

"Did someone mention cake?" Uriah says, waking up. He's been up ever since he had surgery three days ago, but he still can't leave yet. At least he and Coraline can keep each other amused.

"I have to head out anyway. I'll bring some back with me." I give her a small hug and leave her in Alex's care. Leadership is going to meet today to decide exactly what to do about Erudite and the Dauntless traitors. I head over to the meeting room; it's weird being inside. The past users are the very people we'll be fighting against. Now it just contains the new leadership and our intel people.

"To begin, what intelligence have we gathered?" Tori says.

"I've gone over to Amity and they said that they'll keep the Abnegation there until they deem it safe for them to return," Will says, "Otherwise, they'd like to stay neutral in the matter and let us sort it out."

"I spoke with Jack Kang," Christina says, "They're going to ally with us. They did ask for protection, though."

"We've scoped out Erudite's headquarters," Lynn says, "Their security is stretched thin; they don't have enough people to stage an attack. A lot of Erudite are sneaking out as well; Amity is filling up with people."

"We should be able to provide some security to Candor, just in case," Harrison says, "We'll send over a small force. I don't see Erudite attacking anytime soon, though. They don't have the numbers necessary, even if all the Noses take up arms."

"That brings us to our next order," I say, "Ending this once and for all. I think we can all agree we want to stop all this as painlessly as possible." Everyone nods.

"Alright, then I say we demand the surrender of Erudite. They turn over our old leaders and Jeanine. They erase all data on the control serum and we'll forgive anyone involved. Jeanine and the others will then be put to trial for their crimes."

"That seems too lenient," Harrison says, "Just erasing their data after what they made us do."

"The worst thing you can do to an Erudite is take away their knowledge," I say, "Erasing the data will be punishment enough."

"Fine," Tori says, "I just want to see Jeanine and her drones pay." There's a sort of deadly determination in her eyes that I've never seen before. I see exactly what she's looking for; revenge.

"Let's contact them and present our terms," I say, "Who are we sending?"

"Well, I think you should go," Tori says, "You're a better speaker and you're a reliable planner. If they try anything, you'll be able to get out of it." She smiles at me. I'm glad she has such confidence in me.

"You should bring a couple people with you," Harrison says, "Just in case."

"I think I know a few people," I say with a smile, "Are we done here?"

"Yes," Tori says, "Find who you think you'll need. We'll send a couple messengers and arrange a meeting for two days' time."

"Sounds like a plan," I say, getting up. I head over to the lower apartments, I'd only ever been told about where I'm going. I knock and Four opens the door.

"Hi Audrey," he says, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just looking for you and Tris." He moves out of the way and lets me in. The words "Fear God Alone" are written on the wall; I never took him as the religious type. It's a minimalistic apartment, but there's a couch so I sit. Tris comes out of the bathroom and looks confused.

"Audrey, what's going on?" She crosses the room and sits with me and Four comes over, but remains standing.

"In two days, I'll be going to a meeting to see if we can negotiate a surrender. I was wondering if you two would like to come with me." I think they'll say yes, but I can't expect them to. I've already endangered both their lives before.

"Sure," Tris says with a smile, "I just want this to be over."

"Can't say no now," Four says and I smile at both of them. I'm glad that they'll both help me.

"Thanks," I say, "I just have to find one more person." I head out of the apartment and over to Eric's. I go in to find him sitting on the couch with an icepack on his face. I stop thinking of anything else. I dart to where he is and move the icepack out of the way. There's a bruise forming on his right eye and he has a small cut on his lip. He just looks to the side and doesn't say anything.

"What happened?"

"I was jumped." He still doesn't look at me. I knew people were unhappy with him, but I thought that having him helping us was enough. I guess people just want someone to blame in the meantime. "I'm fine. Can't say the same for the others." I can't take this.

"I'm sorry." I hold onto him and he just sighs, pulling me in further.

"It's not like you arranged this," he says, "But there's something we'll need to do for them to piss off."

"What?" I can't just order them all to leave him alone; he wouldn't let me either. He has too much pride for that.

"I need to pay for what I did," he says, "I need a trial." He looks right in my eyes this time and I know that he's right. The Dauntless aren't like me; they won't just forgive what he did. But if they feel he's been given proper retribution, they'll stop. I can't even say no; if I do, then I'm leaving him to this.

"When do you want it?" I can't believe what I'm saying. I feel like a kid, the way I'm completely curled up to him. He should be relying on me, but I'm hiding in him.

"Today." He really is Dauntless, getting things out of the way as soon as possible.

"I'll get Tori and Harrison. I don't think we need to detain you." I'm going to get up when I finally remember why I came here in the first place. "Just to let you know, I'm going to be leading negotiations with Erudite."

"I don't think I'll be able to go." He's right. If this trial goes the way I think it will, he's going to be in a hospital bed.

"It's okay. You'd probably try to keep me from going, anyway." I try to smile, even though there are tears coming. He brushes them away and gives me a kiss.

"You know me so well. I'll just have to bribe someone to stick you with a syringe." Then he starts to move and we both get up.

"I'll go with you to get Tori and Harrison. It'll save some time."

"Eric, shall I list your crimes?" Tori asks. She and Harrison sit on either side of myself. Leadership is judge and jury in Dauntless, so I have no choice. I have to be here.

"No, I can," he says, "I conspired against the factions, I acted as an Erudite agent, and I agreed to help find problem individuals."

"What do you mean 'problem individuals?'" Harrison says.

"There's something that not many know about. That Divergence is real and I was tasked with finding them." Tori looks livid and Harrison just looks confused.

"But that's a myth..."Harrison says.

"No, it's real," Tori says, her mouth tight, "How many Divergents did you find?"

"None. I had my suspicions, but I never confirmed anyone. So I never turned anyone in." Tori nods, but doesn't say anything. I wonder if she'll hold this against him anyway.

"Your crimes would typically warrant the death penalty," she says, "But you were essential in stopping a massacre. You also didn't turn in any Divergents, which is sheer luck, but I'll consider it in your favor. I propose a Punishment."

"I second that," Harrison says. This is as good as it's going to get, it seems. I can't just get him off with nothing.

"Fine," I say. I will not cry here; not in front of everyone. Eric just nods; I guess he figured this is what was going to happen as well.

"Let's get it over with," Harrison says.

I stand on a raised platform flanking Tori with Harrison next to me. The crowd is screaming and I can't block out the noise. It's like the sound is shaking me down to my very bones and ripping them apart. They're all screaming for Eric's blood and I have to be one of the people to fulfill their wishes.

"Today, we will be Punishing the criminal Eric!" Tori shouts. "He's been charged with conspiring against the factions, assisting another faction, and crimes against the people! Due to his part in the prevention of a massacre, his life has been spared, but he will be given justice none the less! Bring him out!"

Eric is brought out of the same tunnel that Jared came out of before. However, he walks right along with the jailer instead of having to be dragged out. He still walks just as tall and straight as he ever has. Tori, Harrison, and I come down from the platform and head to the center of the mob and surround him.

"Can I make one request?" Eric shouts over the crowd.

"What?" Tori says.

"Can I not be restrained? It's unnecessary."

"Fine," Tori says, "Take those off." Tori says, motioning over to the handcuffs on Eric's wrists. The jailer takes them off and Eric shakes hands before bringing them to his sides. He nods and just looks straight ahead; he's not going to show any fear, I guess. Tori puts up a hand, bringing down the noise.

"Let's begin."

The voices of the crowd surge back up as she goes up to Eric and slams him in the chest with a kick. He goes forward a bit, but goes right back to standing straight. I want to cry, scream, do something, but I know I can't. I know he wouldn't want me to, anyway. I can only stand and watch as I dread my turn. Harrison comes forward and punches Eric; his head turns and his feet shift a bit, then he goes right back to the same stance he was in. The cut that was on his lip earlier has expanded and is dripping blood. I can't move my feet. I don't want to move them.

"Just do it, Audrey," Eric says with a stern look on his face. I can tell what else he wants to say: this is Dauntless. I have to hit him. I come forward and back fist his cheek; because there was no buildup, it was weak. This is the most I can do. The way I move is mechanical; I try not to register what I'm doing…who I'm hitting. We continue around the circle and Eric stays standing after every hit. One of Harrison's punches eventually gets him to fall, but he keeps standing back up. Even when my hits alone are enough to make him fall, he gets up. He doesn't flinch or try to protect himself the whole time; he just takes it all. The Dauntless should have no complaints. Eventually, Tori throws a solid kick to his legs and he can't get up anymore. His face is all blood and cuts. I don't know how he's been able to keep breathing despite all the hits to the gut. Harrison comes forward and kicks his face. His eyes are already swollen enough where I wouldn't be able to tell if they shut, but he stops moving, so I know he's knocked out.

"It's over," Tori says, "Take him away." The jailer carries him out as Tori, Harrison, and I leave through another exit. Once we're away from the crowd, I finally let out a single sob. I helped do that; I helped do that to him.

**A/N: I think I will just go with a sequel. So, this one is going to be wrapping up, but look forward to the sequel since we all know that there's still a few loose ends to deal with *cough* the factionless and ****bureau *cough*****But it will probably have more fluffy moments, because I know a couple that I wanted to do, but could never find a place for them to fit in without disrupting the flow of the story :p That or I'll place them at the end as omakes while I get the sequel started. I already know what I'm going to do with it, but I'm lost for a title. If anyone has any thoughts as to possible names for a sequel, please let me know (comment, message, smoke signals, whatever you're comfortable with.) Going to get started on the last chapters (don't know how many it'll take.)DC out!**


	33. Chapter 32

I barely registered the injuries Marlene described to me as I sat outside waiting for Eric to get out of surgery for…everything. Multiple facial lacerations, two black eyes, a broken nose, multiple facial fractures, six fractured ribs and three broken ones, more bruises than can be counted, and a severe concussion with intracranial hypertension and hemorrhaging. Now I can only sit and wait for him to wake up. They don't know when it will be, but he isn't comatose. He just needs time for his body to heal before he'll be up. I sit beside his bed with only the sound of breathing and the beeping of machines to keep me company. The rest of the compound is dead silent at this time of night, but I can't sleep with them; I have to stay awake and wait for Eric. As he lies in bed, I can't help but look at his bruised and battered body and want to cry. But I can't; I have to be the strong one right now. I just hold onto his hand and wait.

I wake to find myself slumped over the bed. I curse myself; I can't believe I fell asleep. It's still quiet, so I couldn't have slept for very long. I lean back in the chair I'm in and squeeze his hand…and he squeezes it back. He barely opens his eyes.

"…Here." He's only just able to move his lips.

"What?" What does he mean by 'here?'

"Come…he…re." But I'm already here. Does he want me closer?

"I'm here." I can feel the tears welling up.

"Get your…ass…in here." I look at his face and, despite all the damage, he's smirking. He tugs lightly on my hand and I hop into the bed with him. He lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around me instead.

"I shouldn't be doing this…you shouldn't move. You should be resting." But I'm still curling further into his warmth.

"I am. There's no…rule against…others." He smiles a bit and I smile back. I shouldn't but I'm indulging myself.

"Fine then. Now go sleep."

"Same to…you." He holds me a little tighter with his arm; he's in this state and he's worrying about me.

"Okay. Goodnight, then. I love you."

"I love you, too" I let myself slip away into darkness, the sound of his breathing lowering me into the arms of sleep.

I wake up to feel him playing with my hair like he always does. I'm sure when I open my eyes, I'll find myself in our apartment; yesterday's events merely a dream gone wrong. But I still find myself in the hospital; at least the swelling in his face has gone down. It's returned to its original shape, albeit still covered in cuts and bruises. His hair has been cut short; they needed to in order to do the surgery to release the pressure in his skull and work on the bleeding. He looks so different, but he's the same Eric; my Eric.

"Morning," Eric says, smiling a bit, "You look like you had a rough night." I just laugh, unable to comprehend how he just makes everything better.

"And you're just the picture of perfection."

"Yes, I am." There's that grin that always draws me in.

"Can I get you anything?" He hasn't had food or water that I know of.

"I can reach the water pitcher just fine and they'll be bringing food soon. But you can get me out of here." Him and every other person in here.

"You can't yet. You still need to heal." I'm not going to have him running around with broken ribs. Even without that, I'm not going to have him leave after all the damage he took.

"I can heal at the apartment if I have to." So stubborn.

"You should stay here. What if something happens?" I don't want to see him hurt again some way.

"Nothing will happen. I'll break out of here if I have to."

"If you're leaving, take me with you!" Coraline calls over. These two will be the death of me.

"Alright you can't walk," I say addressing Coraline, "And you were just knocked out for several hours with intracranial damage. Neither of you are leaving." He sighs.

"You know, you're sexy when you're giving orders." He leans up and gives me a small kiss; it must hurt, but he doesn't let it show.

"You shouldn't be moving at all. It's not good for you."

"You're worth it." And he gives me another kiss.

"Don't forget we're here!" Uriah shouts, "You guys are so sweet, I think I'm getting diabetes." I'm surprised that Eric just laughs it off; I guess he's coming down a bit. Will comes in and goes to where we are.

"I just finished meeting with Erudite. Leadership's going to convene soon. You might want to get ready." I nod and get up.

"I'll be back when we're done," I say, giving Eric a kiss.

"I'll be here." He kisses me back and I'm headed over to the apartment to change clothes before going to the meeting.

"What did they say?" Tori asks as we all wait for Will to speak.

"They agreed to a meeting," Will says, "It's to take place tomorrow at noon in neutral ground. We settled on Amity's headquarters. Johanna Reyes agreed to be the arbitrator."

"Who will be representing them?"

"It seems Max will be going as their representative." Tori scowls; I wonder who she was hoping for.

"Tris, you and Four will be accompanying Audrey?"

"Yes, we'll be with her the whole time. But I think a little extra hidden security would be a good idea." Tris says.

"We'll have people hidden around the meeting area to make sure nothing happens. And Audrey, you had five fears I heard." That's a little random.

"Yes, why?"

"We'll all refer to you as Five from now on. It's a good intimidation technique. And the Dauntless-traitors will be more likely to listen to someone who's almost fearless." I have to hand it to Tori; that is absolutely brilliant.

"I'll start spreading the name," Four says, "It'll be useful here, too."

"Welcome to the number club," Tris says with a smile.

"Anything else we should address?" Harrison asks.

"No. You all just need to be careful. But I'm sure you all can handle it." Tori smiles and the meeting is adjourned. I go straight back to the hospital.

"Anything new?" Eric asks.

"The meeting is tomorrow at noon in Amity. And everyone is to call me Five now, it seems." Coraline will be happy to know that, technically, she started a trend.

"Does that include me?" He smirks as he says this.

"No, I like hearing my name from you." It feels so perfect when he says it.

"There you go, giving sexy commands again." He smirks and I come forward to give him a kiss. He looks directly into my eyes.

"Be careful, ok?" He's holding me in his gaze. "You know that there's more for you to worry about than just bullets." He's right; the Erudite are clever and I don't think they would give up so easily. They have so much technology, it isn't hard to believe that they may try something. And knowing them, we won't know until it's already happening.

"I'll be careful," I say, "I will come back."

"You better, or I'll just have to come get you myself." He pulls me into the bed and we stay together in the warmth of each other's company.

The next day is mostly spent getting ready for the meeting. I kiss Eric before going to the apartment just to find Christina inside.

"I've been tasked with making you look as intimidating as possible," she says, "Let's get started." The outfit I'm given is tight pants and a tight black top that somehow make my features sharper, while making my arms appear slightly more muscular. The shoes have heels, but they're sharp; so sharp I could probably cut someone with a kick. The make-up makes my eyes piercing and ferocious, all read and orange; I'm not just a fire goddess, I'm a flame demon. I look at myself and I exude dominance.

"That is the face of a Dauntless leader," Christina says.

"Thank you." Her makeover is the last bit of confidence I need for this.

"You're welcome…Five." She says with a smile. I guess the name has spread.

"You guys don't have to…" It feels odd to have the people who really know me call me that.

"How about in public, you're Five and in private, you're Audrey. It works for Tris."

"Alright then." I guess having a reputation to build makes things complicated.

I leave and start to head towards the Pit. As I pass by the other Dauntless members, I notice how they all look at me differently. Before, when I first became a leader, they seemed to approve of me, but there was something there that showed they were judging me; I'm younger than most of them, I expected it. But now, they have a look of respect; of equals. I've been truly been accepted as a leader now. Once I'm outside, I go to the train tracks to find Four and Six already there. They seem to have stopped the train for today, so we won't have to run on.

"Ready to go, Five?" Tris asks.

"Definitely, Six." I say with a smile. We all go over to the train and it begins to move forward.


	34. Chapter 33

We sit in a room decorated in Amity colors; orange carpet, yellow walls, lots of windows. Max and I each hold up our hands and make a point of displaying that we're each unarmed. The only people with weaponry are Four and Six behind me and Tiffany and another old Dauntless leader behind Max. We each sit at each end of the table while Johanna sits on the side between each of us.

"We're meeting to negotiate a surrender between Dauntless and Erudite," Johanna says, "Five, will you list your conditions first?"

"Our conditions are as follows: the Erudite are to surrender. The old Dauntless leaders and Jeanine Matthews along with the other researchers behind the attack are to be placed under arrest to await trial. The Erudite are to allow us to erase any data on the control serums. If the Erudite comply, we will forgive any others involved and accept any Dauntless-traitors back into our ranks."

"And why should we surrender?" Max asks, "We were taking down the corrupt faction of Abnegation. We were doing the factions a service."

"You believed in lies and tried to kill innocent people. You also lack the forces to repel an attack by us. Don't get anyone else killed."

"This is bigger than truth and lies, then the citizens of this city. There are forces at work that you wouldn't believe." What is he talking about?

"What is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to scare us?"

"No, I'm trying to warn you. We'll give you your surrender; just don't regret your choice."

"It's settled, then" Johanna says, "When will the terms be enacted?" We all look to Max.

"Today." Dauntless until the end, I guess.

"We expect all of you to exit Erudite by five," I say, "We'll have you detained and brought over to Candor; inter-faction trials are their job."

"We have some Erudite here who can be trusted to delete the information," Johanna says.

"They'll go to Erudite accompanied by a Dauntless guard," I say, "The rest of the Dauntless can come back to us when they like, but they must come without weapons."

"Fine," Max says and he gets up and extends his hand. I reach forward and shake his. "Lead well." I guess he does still care about the faction. He may have been misled, but he thought he was doing what was right.

"I will." We exit and I'm surprised at how things have worked out. We head to the train and I'm glad that it's all over. Now, we just have to rebuild.

The Dauntless start to flow back into the compound. Slowly at first, then more and more come. We have to keep them separated from everyone else for a while; even though they chose to follow their leaders, they still betrayed the rest of Dauntless. It reminds me of the stories I'd read about the old world; when a wall in a city came down and the people struggled to connect. That seems to be what's happening now. None of them left as an act of betrayal, but because they thought it was best for the faction; they simply chose wrong. There are a few who choose to go to the factionless. They go not because of the disdain of the others, but because they recognize their own betrayal and feel that's where they belong. I can't stop them; it's their choice and Dauntless recognize the importance of free will.

It takes until the next morning for us to receive word on the trials.

"Jeanine and Max, being the main conspirators, have been sentenced to death," Will says, "The rest of the Dauntless leadership and the Erudite minds are going to become factionless. They are to be given to their respective factions for the actual punishment."

"Dammit!" Tori shouts, "She only gets that much…" She…I wonder if she's referring to Jeanine. I know I hate the woman, but Tori…hers is on a completely different level.

"Do we know who's replacing Jeanine?" I ask. The last thing we need is someone else just like her.

"Yes, we do," Will says with a smile, "Her name is Cara; she's my sister." If it's Will's sister, she can't be a bad choice.

"How is the exodus of Abnegation going?" Harrison says; they've only started moving back. I hope there wasn't too much trouble. I know some of the factionless have raided the area; it was abandoned, for the most part, so they treated it as fair game.

"No problems yet," Tris says, she's been overseeing most of it.

"Good. Then we're done for today," Tori says, "The old leaders should be arriving by now. Let's get this done."

I've never heard a crowd as loud as the one assembled today; they're finally going to get the vengeance they've all been dying for. Their screams never cease. Even when Tori puts up her hand to have them quiet down to begin the Farewell for the old leaders, they never cease. It takes someone banging on what I think is a gong for them to be quiet enough to announce the beginning. It seems the guys' names are Drake and Vince. They're to be brought out one at a time, starting with Drake. He's so tall, the top of my head barely reaches his chest. He remains stoic the whole time, accepting all the hits. It takes so long, my knuckles have been scraped raw and my shins are starting to ache from the kicks. It's still nothing compared to the way he looks; I never thought we'd get him to the ground. His face is mostly untouched, too high for anyone but Harrison to reach. But the blows to his stomach and legs brought him down eventually and it was all downhill from there.

Next is Tiffany. She walks out, a short with long brown hair that she's left tied up. Looking at her, I can see that she's well-toned, but not bulky. She's muscular, but has the look of someone who could move very quickly. Her Farewell is faster than Drakes, but I'm still surprised by how long it takes for hers to end. She's extremely adept at taking hits; it makes me wonder how much time she spent fighting. That's the only way someone could be able to take all this.

It's finally time for Vincent. He's of average height with dark hair, very muscular. He also has all sorts of tattoos all along his arms. I'm glad that the beatings will be ending with this one. I don't like having to do this; they were wrong, but they were also following orders. They could also have been afraid of the repercussions of standing up to Max and Jeanine. But fear is not an excuse. I have to remember that. Vincent's ends with a punch to the face by Tori. Out of all of them, I think he lasted the longest. I didn't think anyone would go as long as the mountain of a man, Drake. But Vincent still kept getting up; after a while, I thought it was just an automatic response and not something he was thinking about anymore.

We're at the last person, Max. But he won't be given a beating. A Dauntless comes forward with three guns and a single bullet all on a plate. Tori makes a show of picking up each gun and taking it apart to show that they're all unloaded. Then she takes the bullet and places it in a single gun and begins to shuffle them. I can't follow her hands, they're moving so fast. When she feels she's shuffled them enough, she stops and we each pick up a gun and approach Max. We all point our guns to his head.

"Any last words?" Tori asks.

"Do it." Max says, like a challenge. He really was suited to be a Dauntless leader. I pull the trigger and try not to think about which bullet it was that killed him, but there's no way for me to deny that recoil. I was the one with the bullet; I was the one that ended his life. I'm unaware of the joyful screams of the crowd that accompanies the slump of Max's head. As I walk away, Tori is right next to me.

"It's on all of the leadership," I hear her say; this is another curse of being a leader. Even if I wasn't the one with the bullet, the death is on me. I can't dwell on it; I have to move on.

"What now?"

"Well, I'm going to Erudite to witness the execution," Tori says, "I can't do it myself, but I can at least see her die."

"What did she do to you?" But then I think about how she knew Divergence was real; about how they were hunting it. I think I know why.

"I had a brother. He's no longer here because of her." My guess was correct, she did have someone with Divergence. It's understandable that she would want to see Jeanine dead.

"I'm sorry," I say, "Well, I'll just go the hospital." I don't think could stand seeing another punishment or execution, even if the Erudite way is less gruesome, it's still…disturbing. For their version of a Farewell, they give a special memory serum that erases all of that person's knowledge; it's a nightmare to the Erudite who value intellect over everything else. To have years of experience and study wiped away by a serum. But for an execution, it's worse. The person is given a revised memory serum that erases everything. It doesn't stop at memories, your brain forgets how to make you swallow, how to make you breathe, how to keep your very heart beating. To someone watching, you slowly watch the person before you have all intellect leave their eyes, before becoming a drooling mess who can't move or open their eyes, and then, finally, have their heart stop beating. I've only ever heard stories and I don't want to witness it.

I get to the hospital and head over to Eric. I go to touch him, but hesitate with the bloody state my hands are in. This time, he's the one who kisses them.

"No running." I go into the bed with him and kiss him; I feel like it erases the days events from my conscience.

"Have you heard already?" I'm fairly sure word has spread by now.

"Yeah," he says, "Doesn't mean that much to me." But even if he says that, I feel like that's not it. He has a look in his eyes of conflict; he must be. That woman may have done horrible things, but she's still his mother.

"So, now that you're not a leader, I guess you're the one who has to choose a career." It seems better to change the subject.

"I was thinking of fighting professionally. I already did it before as a hobby." He must be trying to kill me.

"You want to be paid to have people hit you?"

"No, I'll be paid to hit other people," he says with a smirk. I don't think I'll change his mind. At least the professional stuff has more a few more rules than a brawl; just enough to avoid any lethal or permanent injuries. And he's so stubborn, I won't be able to convince him otherwise.

"Fine. But you better always win; you are dating a leader, after all." He just laughs.

"There you go with those sexy demands," he says giving me a kiss. We lie there for a while before I realize what else is on my mind.

"What do you think will happen now?" Our city is still broken. Abnegation is going to take a while to recover. The people will be in a state of distress for a long time. And I, a sixteen-year-old, have to help make everything right.

"We'll rebuild. Our ancestors did it, so can we." And he kisses me once more and I know that he's right.

**A/N: This is the last chapter! Now seems to be as good a place to stop as any. I'll be back either today or tomorrow with the first chapter of the sequel ^_^**


	35. AN

Hey there, in order to celebrate the upcoming Month-iversary of Becoming Fire, I'll be rewriting two chapters in Eric's POV. Please use the poll on my page thingy to decide which two you all want. Poll closes on 13 September at 2pm ^_^


	36. Bonus Chapter 1

Where the hell am I? I'm definitely not in my room. And who the hell is next to me? As I slowly inch my way out of the bed, I start to remember what I'm doing here. I seem to have gone home with Jaya last night after a couple of drinks. I get dressed and head right for the door.

"Leaving already?" Dammit, she's awake. I was hoping to get out of here.

"Yeah. Leadership stuff." Not exactly a lie. I do have to show the new initiates where they'll sleep later.

"Don't you want to stay for breakfast?"

"No, I'm good." I head out and over to my apartment. I'm over halfway there when I see Max. Why's he even up this early? He motions for me to join him, so I run over.

"I was looking for you at your apartment," he says.

"I was out."

"To be young," he says with a laugh, "Just be careful." I just nod and laugh along a bit. If this is all it is, I'd rather get to my apartment and my bed.

"Anyway, I wanted to talk with you about the Choosing Ceremony," he says, "I had some business come up and need you to watch in my place." There goes sleeping for the rest of the day.

"Sure," I say with a grin, "Anything else?"

"Well, you'll also be welcoming the initiates," he says, "And if you could find Four for me, that would be great." Him again? Every damn year, he tries to get his golden boy Four.

"Will do." I pass by and head into my apartment and flop onto the bed. I'll get some sleep while I can. A couple hours I wake up and roll out. I jump into the shower, grab some food from the hall, and head over to the table with Drake, Tiffany, and Vince.

"Heard you got drafted for the welcome wagon," Drake says.

"I'm more interested in why Max had to track you down," Vince says, "Who's bed did you warm this time?"

"Jaya," I say indifferently. She's not new, so it doesn't exactly create a ripple.

"I don't know how you do it," Tiffany says, "But one day it's going to bite you in the ass."

"I think it already has once," Drake says, "Isn't that what that crazy chick did?" I laugh as I recall Simone; I don't know if she thought she was being sexy or thought she was a dog, but she was definitely a biter.

"Not my ass, but yes," I say, still laughing. Tiffany just rolls her eyes.

"I worry about you, you know." She seems to think of herself as an older sister to me.

"I'm fine," I say, "Haven't had anything happen to me yet."

"Just find a girl for yourself," she says with frustration, "Not one of those bar flies you're always with. You know, someone who's actually decent."

"Like you?" She smacks the back of my head.

"You're a few years too early," she says as she leaves.

"One day she just might kill you out of frustration," Drake says as he laughs and gets up.

"No, I know how much to push," I say as I get up, too and head for the tracks. I'm not the only one, many Dauntless are lining up, mostly parents, to take the train over to the Hub. I dodge my way around when I see Tris.

"Stiff!" She turns with a look of frustration. She really is too easy

"Where's your pet?" If she's here I'm sure Four's around here somewhere.

"First, it is Six. Second, who are you referring to?" I can't help but admire the bit of fire she got in her eyes since her initiation. Even Stiffs can find a little fire, I guess.

"Four. Where is he?" She has her jaw clenched and I wonder if maybe today will be the day she tries to hit me. I've been wondering exactly how far I can push with her.

"Not here," she says, "He has Control Room duty." She turns on her heel and leaves. I guess today won't be the day. And I'll have to find Four later; dinner it is. I jump on the train with everyone else and head over to the Hub. I take a moment to watch the small dots of color as they all converge in the same location. They come from all directions, swarming like ants to their hill. They become larger as we come closer until it's time to jump.

I head into the Hub and up the elevator like everyone else. Forget going up steps; there's no fun in that. Being near the front, I end up in an elevator with almost all Erudites. It's so weird being surrounded by the people that I used to belong to. With all of them around me, I find myself subconsciously giving into their mannerisms; standing with my hands behind my back, chin tilted up slightly, I'm even about to adjust glasses that don't exist when I catch myself. I have to focus; I relax my posture and throw on a reckless smile. I'm glad I was in the back where no one could catch my slip.

In the Hub, I seat myself towards the back of the Dauntless section. I'll want to be one of the first people out and onto the train if I'm going to be there to welcome the initiates to the beginning of their hell. I wait as the room slowly fills with people and the buzz of conversation. All around, there are parents giving their children hugs with tears in their eye; I think I'll vomit. The only thing that matters are the factions themselves; no one should be swayed by tears. Soon the room is full and Johanna Reyes walks to the front of the room and attention is called, but I don't bother to listen in. This speech is aimed at the dependents and their parents. It's the last minute encouragement and threat; choose your path and hope you made the right choice. If you didn't, you'll be factionless. It doesn't take her very long, thankfully. Despite being an Amity, Johanna doesn't waste her air. I watch as the first kid walks up, a boy from Candor. He cuts his hand and raises it over the coals of my faction. Based on the tears in his eyes, this kid isn't going to pass initiation; I'll ensure it if he's going to cry over a damn cut. A cheer rises from our section and he walks to the back. A few more go and they're all predictable; they each choose their own faction except for an Amity who chose Abnegation. Not much of a scandal there; they're practically the same in principle. Then I hear a cheer from my faction, but that can't be. The last person called was an Amity girl; a hippie chose Dauntless? Sure enough, a raven haired Amity is walking up the steps to the back of our section. She's already got a Dauntless air to her; she just might make it. More go and I'm no longer paying attention again. But I can't help but notice the next one. It's a girl, but that isn't what catches my attention; what does is her fiery hair. For a moment I think it's a trick of the light; that no one's hair could be so…captivating. But as she moves, it just becomes more fascinating, the light rippling off of it in a way that makes it appear almost alive. I look at the rest of her and notice she's an Erudite; a pretty one at that. Most of the ones I knew in my class were thin and bookish, but she's curvy with an air of intellect. She walks down and I can't help but thank whatever random assortment of genes made her. Then I catch myself, this girl isn't exactly available to me and given the way she carries herself, she's probably going to pick Erudite. But even with that thought I still find myself watching her as she takes the knife and slices her palm. I'm sure she's going to place it straight out in front of her, but she doesn't; she moves it left and over the coals. She's Dauntless. I don't bother to pay attention to the rest of the ceremony. I just wait for it to finally finish.

The minute it's over, I dash for the exit; I have to be there ahead of everyone else. I end up the first person on the train, so I stay by the door and help everyone else get on. I'm going to be one of the first ones off. No point in going further into the cart. I see the roof I haven't been on in three years and jump off. This time, I land on my feet instead of my ass like I did the first time. I wait on the ledge and watch as the others get off. The first ones are the Dauntless born of course and every single one makes it. I didn't expect any less of them; they've been jumping off the train since they could walk. After that, the transfers start to come off, but my view of them is blocked by the crowd of Dauntless born. It seems to be going fine until a girl jumps and dangles from the edge of the roof. I only caught a glimpse of her blue dress; I don't know if it's the red head from earlier or another one. I go forward, but the girl drops; nothing can be done now and she was the last one.

"Enough gawking!" I shout. There's no point in having them stare. Accidents happen in Dauntless often; they'll have to learn to get over it fast. Now, time to scare the shit out of them.

"My name is Eric and I'm one of the leaders of your new faction! Many stories below us is the entrance to the Dauntless compound. If you can't jump, you don't belong in Dauntless. So, who's fir-" But I'm cut off by a feminine voice in the crowd.

"I'll jump," it says. I look for the source of the voice to find that it's the redhead from earlier. I find myself breathing a sigh of relief to find that she wasn't the one who fell before I even realize what I'm doing.

"No questions or anything," I say with a smirk. I was sure the first volunteer would be one of the Dauntless born. And even then, I was sure it would be preceded by the usual questions and looks of fear.

"I'll jump," she says, "There has to be something down there. You wouldn't just send us all to our deaths; that would be illogical." She finishes her statement with a smile. So, she thought her way out of it. Like me, I can't help but think. She's definitely an Erudite.

"An Erudite smartass, huh," I say, "Nice, big…brains" Now that I have a good look of her, I can fully appreciate just how curvy she really is. I haven't seen very many girls with a chest like that and I can't help but admire it. She moves her head down so I'm looking at her face instead.

"I do what I can," she says and I finally have a good view of her eyes. They're a bright green like emeralds, but behind them, I feel like I can see the gears in her head at work. But there's something else there, too…fire.

I move out of the way and she heads over to the ledge. Before she gets on, though, she stops and looks at her skirt. What, is she having a fashion crisis right now? Even if she is, what exactly can she do about it? As if in answer, she starts to pull of her skirt and I have no idea what she's doing. Is she insane?

"What are you doing!" I hear catcalls and whistles behind me and I can't help but notice that it bothers me. It takes me a moment to realize what I'm feeling: jealousy.

"I don't want it to get caught and I have shorts on underneath," she says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Before I realize it, I'm blushing a bit. I always used to blush when I was corrected in school and I can't believe she brought it out again.

"Well, hurry up. We don't have all day." She smiles, but doesn't move towards the ledge.

"One last thing," she says as she removes her glasses, "Faction before blood." She smiles, drops them on the ground, and stomps on them. I can't help but admire her and her nerve. Dauntless for less than an hour and already acting like one of us. I don't know what else is going on in my mind now, I can only think of one thing: her. I don't know how, but she's been drawing me in. She's the one I want. Before I know it, I realize I've been staring. I hope she writes it off as awe or something.

"Faction before blood," I say with a smile and she finally steps onto the ledge. She spreads out her arms, closes her eyes, and lets herself fall backwards. I can't help but think she looks beautiful as she disappears below.

**A/N: Here's the first of the two bonus chapters! Hope they live up to expectations. The second will come later. I got delayed while writing a Spark A Flame Chapter**


	37. Bonus Chapter 2

I don't know how to help her anymore. Over the past six days, Audrey has slowly been fading away, consumed by the fear simulations. But that isn't all of it. She's Divergent, I'm almost sure of it. And if she's been hiding it, she knows it, too. Which also means she hasn't wanted to tell me, but can I blame her? I'm tied up with the Erudite and their desire to wipe away Divergence and Abnegation. I don't know how we each keep from being crushed by our secrets, but I can't help but feel ashamed each time I face her. But she needs me even if our presence hurts each other. I comfort her in the only way I can; by holding her tightly in my arms as she sleeps to keep the fears away. At least today will be the last day, but will it ever really end?

After she leaves for her simulation, I just head to my office to wait for the simulations to be uploaded to my computer. It takes a few minutes for them all to start coming in and I begin watching them. All of them are typical, nothing strange. Nothing I need to report. I get to the last video, Audrey's. It opens with her sitting on my bed. Why is she there? I watch as I come in and sneer at her. What the hell?

"Get out." I watch her as she turns pale with shock. But this is her fear simulation. Does she think I'd really do this?

"Leave, I've grown tired of you." I want this to end, now. But I have to watch the whole thing. I have to see this through. But dammit, as I look at her, I feel like my heart is being shredded to ribbons.

"Why?" I can't listen to her like this; to her sounding so fragile. The very sound of her voice just pulls me further into my own despair.

"Because you're nothing. I don't need you anymore. We were nothing. You didn't even let me in. You lied. You're a liar and I don't care about you at all." Please don't let her believe this. Please don't let her actually think I would do this. But I watch her and I can see it in her eyes as she slowly breaks down inside. She curls up on the bed as the simulation of myself continues to yell at her and I want to puke. I can't watch myself do this to her. I want to die as I see its words rip her apart, knowing that she fears this; she fears me

She gets up and I can't stand this anymore. The way she carries herself, the way she cries, I want to kiss it all away. But I can't because I'm the one that's reduced her to this. I'm the only fear that's brought her this low. She makes it to the door and turns back to my simulation.

"I know you're lying," she says, but the way she says it, I know she doesn't believe it. What have I done to make her think that? But then I think what haven't I done to make her doubt me. I thought we were fine, but in reality I had fucked everything up. I had fucked it all up before I even met her. Because of my damn whoring, she doesn't trust me; how could she trust me? I'm going to lose her now. I spiral further into my own oblivion.

I stand and run out the door; I am not going to just sit here as my world comes crashing down. I'm going to see exactly what she thinks. I check the transfer dorms, but she isn't there. I head over to the Training room, but it's empty, too. I gaze at the Pit for a moment, but can't find her there. Now, there's only one place left; the apartment. Did she want to go back to the place of her nightmare? I burst in through the door and find her on the bed. I curse myself as I look at her; she still looks like she can break at any moment. But I need to hear her say it; I need to hear if this is it.

"Do you believe that?" I try to make my voice sound as calm as possible. I don't want her to think I'm mad. I don't want to bring back any memories of that fucking lookalike. But I can't hide my pain. She looks down for a moment.

"No…well…I don't know. I don't believe you'd ever do that, but some stupid, insecure part of me does." The words hurt, but I can't be mad at her; I'm the one that made her like this. It's not all the simulation's fault; I was broken when she got me and now she's been cut by my jagged edges. She looks confused and then she's crying again. Goddamn it, why did I have to make her cry? I can't leave her like this. Now that she's here before me, I can't just leave her to her tears. I sit down beside her and wrap her in my arms; has she ever felt this vulnerable before? She curls into me and cries into my shoulder. I can't help but feel relieved that she isn't pulling away; that she isn't rejecting my presence. There might be some hope.

"Eric, we need to talk." I freeze. 'We need to talk.' She really is going to reject me. She's just trying to make it as nice as possible. This hurts even more than anything I've ever experienced. I'd rather be tortured than go through this. At least that pain can be treated, but this? I don't know how to deal with this.

"Please don't do this." I don't care if it's begging, I can't have her leave me. I need her; I learned that on the day I met her. I can't let go of her now. She turns to me and brings her hand up to my cheek.

"I'm not leaving you. That isn't what I need to talk with you about…or, well, tell you about. I just hope you don't leave me…" She looks away and I feel my heart break all over again. I would never leave her. There's nothing she could ever do to make me leave her. What do I have to do so she'll know that?

"Eric, I haven't told you something about myself. I'm different. I'm Div-" I stop her right there. It's enough already. I don't want to make her explain herself.

"I know Audrey. I figured out that the first simulation was a loop. I'd just hoped I was wrong." It would have been so much easier if I was wrong. She wouldn't be in danger, then.

"You never said anything…"

"Because it's something I can't talk about. That you can't talk about. That we can't talk about. But whatever you are, I love you." I will always love her. I will never stop loving her. I pull her closer to me; I never want to let her go. She pulls herself in as well, so we're completely wrapped in each other.

"What now?" There's so much going on I don't even know where to begin. But I need her to know I'll always protect her…and the full scope of the danger she's in.

"I don't know. There's something big happening. I'll keep you out of the way, keep you safe. I don't want to lose you." I refuse to lose her. I would rather die than live without her. She looks to me, confused.

"What do you mean by 'something big?'" I sigh. I'll have to tell her. The more she knows, the better, as we've just learned. Now it's my turn to hope she doesn't leave.

"It's about Erudite and Dauntless. They…I…we…believe that Divergence destroys the system of the factions; that they were essentially errors in the system that would create chaos. So, the errors were to be…erased. But now it's about control; about running everything." I watch as the gears in her head turn and see the realization dawn in her eyes.

"Is this why you watch us?" Her face is a blank; I can't read her now. I just have to give her the truth.

"Half of it. It only comes in during the simulation portion."

"Have you ever caught anyone?" I can see the worry in her eyes. Why did I have to be so fucked up?

"No." I can't help but be thankful that I've never acted on my suspicions. That I'd always held out the benefit of the doubt.

"If you had, would you have reported them?" She's looking straight at me and even though I want to lie to make everything better, I can't. She gave me the truth; I have to do the same.

"…Yes." I don't know which is worse: the feeling of shame that I have or the disappointment in her eyes. I can't look at her anymore; I don't deserve to look at her anymore. This just might be the end. Who would want to stay? She gets up.

"I'm going out. I love you. I'll be back." I don't deserve to, but I want to reach for her…to stop her. But she's already out the door. I scream my frustration. I'm so fucking stupid. Why the hell did I ever go along with Jeanine's batshit crazy plan? Why did I have to drag Audrey into all this? Screaming isn't enough. I need something to break, something to hit, some sort of violence to make me feel less like the monster I am. I head over to the wall and slam my knuckles into it. I do this again and again until my hand goes numb and I let out one final scream before I just lean against the wall and let go. For the first time in a long time, I let myself cry, thankful that there's no one here to see this. I pushed her so far that she finally ran. I can't even hold that against her, because who in their right mind would want to stay with someone as ruined and broken as I am. I cry until I'm empty inside; I'm completely and utterly hollow. There's nothing left of me because everything that mattered disappeared with her. I just sit on the couch and stare off into space, wishing I could just sink into the ground. I don't know how long I stay there when I hear a knock on the door. I rush to it; it can only be one person. I let her in and get ready for the end.

"Going to break it off officially? Don't worry, I still won't sell you out to leadership." There's no bitterness, no anger, no hatred, no anything that I feel. I'm a blank right now. But I don't want her to stay out of fear for her life. That would kill me even more than having her be gone.

"No. I want to fix this, us," she says, "I ran away, but I came back. I love you; I can't just leave." I look at her and I don't know what to say. She's going to take me back; she's not leaving. She's going to stay with me, even though she knows about all the horrible things I've done. I'm dating an angel. She comes closer to me and wraps her arms around my waist. I encircle her in mine; I never want to let her go ever again.

"I can forgive what you've done, but I can't forget it," she says. I'd be stupid if I expected her to. I don't know how to make any of it up to her.

"I'm sorry." God, I'm sorry for so much. For all the damage I've caused. For everything I've ruined. For everything that I've put her through. I would gladly be punished for the rest of my life if that's what it took to make her believe me.

"I love you, but that's not all we need to fix. We can't have a war." She looks at me expectantly and I don't know what to say. Keeping her safe is one thing, but to stop the war, I'll have to fight against the full force of Erudite and Dauntless. But I can't disappoint her, I can't put her through anymore. Whatever may happen, I want her to be happy. Even if it means risking everything to make it happen.

"Alright. I take it you already have a brilliant plan underway." I smile to her in reassurance. And she's so brilliant, I'm sure she already has something started. I watch as her eyes light up and I know that whatever happens, the choice that I made is the right one.

"If you can find out exactly what they're planning, I can. Don't openly oppose what they say, but look for any sign of dissent. So far, I think we'll have to sabotage whatever it is. We can sabotage what they're planning by finding a window to stop them with solid evidence to help back us up. So no matter what, they can be brought down." So she knows it, too. That this will probably end in death. But I won't let that happen to her. I don't care about my life, but she will make it through. I kiss her; it's the only form of support I can give.

"I'll trust your brilliance." I'll have to trust in her. I didn't before and look where that got us. She gives me a smile, but her eyes hold some sadness in them; I guess she's coming to terms with what we've just agreed to. She holds onto me tighter and puts her head on my chest and I just hold her in my arms, wishing that I could have kept her out of all of this. But then she kisses me. It's not like the last one; this one holds more passion than I've ever felt from her. I find myself drawn into her kiss and returning it with equal desire. There's nothing to hold me back now. No secrets or anything that can keep me from her. I feel her pull from the kiss with a look in her eye; a sort of determination and lust I've never seen before. She takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

She brings me over to the bed and pushes on me, so I sit. Then she straddles my lap and renews our kiss. I don't know where she's going with this, but I like it. I feel her hands slide down my chest to the bottom of my shirt and she pulls it off. She's done this before, but it's different this time. There's something almost desperate about it. I want to say something, but she kisses me before my lips can form any words. My thoughts are lost in her sweet taste, but then she starts to pull on her own shirt and even though I desperately want to continue, I can't let her make some split second decision; I don't want her to regret any part of our relationship.

"Audrey…" But where do I even start? There's a thousand questions I want to ask. Why now? Why me? How did you decide I was worthy of this? Do you really want this?

"Eric, I love you." I can see in her eyes that she does. Her every action a constant reminder of her love. And I can't deny that I love her, too. That I've wanted to do this with her since the beginning. Not the way I did with the other girls; that was all lust. This…this is love. I haven't wanted her body; I've wanted her. To truly know her. To finally feel her. She moves her mouth right above mine; a replay of the Training Room. And just like that day, I kiss her; I accept her desires, because they're my own. I move my hand to the bottom of her shirt and pull it off of her. I take in every beautiful detail of her and kiss her before I turn us, so she's lying on her back. I'm going to have to take the lead and I want her to be as comfortable as possible. She moves her hands to my jeans and slides them down, while I kick them the rest of the way off. I move my hand to the front of hers, but I stop. I want nothing more than to rip them off, but I want to be sure that she won't regret this.

"You're sure?" She just smiles to me and kisses me. This is what she wants and it's also what I want. I unbutton them and take them off. I can't help but notice that her breath catches as they come off. I also can't help but regret that I didn't wait for her. Even if we were to stop now, this would still be more meaningful to me than anything I'd ever done with all those other woman combined. I kiss her neck and try to get her to relax; to make this as enjoyable for her as possible, I need her to be relaxed. I make my way down to her chest and remove her bra. I move my face back to hers and kiss her, trying to ease her into the intricacies of love. Once her breathing is back to normal again, I kiss my way down her torso and pull off her underwear. Her breathing increases and I go back to her neck, running my hands through her hair to relax her once more. Finally, I remove my boxers and we're both fully exposed now. I can't help but wonder one last time if this is what she really wants. She must have noticed the trouble on my face, because she takes it in her hands.

"I love you." She says it with such sincerity that nothing else matters.

"I love you, too."

**A/N: Happy Month-iversary my dear readers! Hope you all enjoy this last bonus chapter. Anyway, for those who are now following Spark A Flame, I'll be updating tomorrow after my Japanese Language exam. Gomenasai! I feel bad making you all wait, but I can only write so much **


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